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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

police community support officers 'helpful' parenting advice!

55 replies

itsybitsy08 · 30/07/2010 13:28

Was walking back home after visiting the shops today and witnessed this (yes im nosy!)

Two community support officers dithering outside of a house on a quiet street where a baby was alseep in his pram in the gated front garden - no parent around.

They looked like two 12 year old boys and decided after a while to knock on the door and inform the mother that she was being totally irresponsable and did she know what could of happened...

She was sitting in the front room where she could see baby from window!

She was non too pleased with their helpful advice and told them so in non too uncertain terms!

Yes i was walking slowly so i could see what happened!

I didnt blame her for this and think she was right in saying that they should maybe be up the park instead concertrating their efforts on the underage drinkers as its the school holidays!

Were we being unreasonable? What would your response have been?

OP posts:
prozacfairy · 30/07/2010 16:14

Well if you believe everything you read in the papers, we are all living within spitting distance of aleast one registered sex offender so maybe that was their concern?

I agree with morloth- if you'd left your baby outside to sleep why would you not go out and check on them if people were in your garden, in uniform or not? She couldn't having been paying that much attention after all, could she? She was being unreasonable to get arsey with them for simply asking her if everything was ok.

Btw what did the ages of the PCSO have to do with anything?

Original poster
itsybitsy08 · 30/07/2010 16:26

Ok i gracefully accept i am being unreasonable!

I suppose its a tough call for them - like i said earlier if they hadnt and something had happened ....

Ive never seen them in this area before after the telling they got probably wont again!

Maybe they could have been a bit more tactful in their lecture though.

OP posts:
Original poster
itsybitsy08 · 30/07/2010 16:29

Oh sorry prozacfairy (nothing really) should say that was what the woman said - something about how young they were and did they have their own children?

They didnt!

OP posts:
Porcelain · 30/07/2010 16:31

If I left a pram in my front garden it would be full of crisp packets and flyers in no time

Blahrahrah · 30/07/2010 16:32

Thanks for the clarification re sleeping outside. I had just never thought of it before!

Original poster
itsybitsy08 · 30/07/2010 16:32

And they were not in her garden but outside her garden - she came to door straight away when they entered and rang bell!

Maybe she could see them, maybe not...

OP posts:
Oblomov · 30/07/2010 16:42

oh i hate all this. i have left ds1 and then ds2 in my back garden and in the front garden, gated enclosed. done it many many times. won't be told not to.
makes me cross, this kind of thing.

Oblomov · 30/07/2010 16:44

"of course they were concerned as indeed would have been most people, non?

YABU"

says BoysAreLikeDogs.

err no. i hope that most people wouldn't be.

maighdlin · 30/07/2010 16:49

my mum is of the generation where you leave the pram and baby outside the shop and out the front door when your doing housework. she has done it countless times with my DD. i get annoyed about it but i mostly get annoyed about the fact that its not the norm thing to do any more because everyone is paedophile or out to kidnap your child, or so the media has lend you to believe.

i don't think the OP and the woman were BU in the slightest. a child enjoying a bit a fresh air. oh the horror

Oblomov · 30/07/2010 16:54

when i left ds1 or ds2, i could see them from the lounge or kitchen. and i had the door open so could hear them. have the hearing of a bat , me. could hear the gate going, like a hawk.

she did come straight away once they entered her garden.
so how was the bay in any danger ? what danger was the baby in. what was the risk ?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 30/07/2010 18:59

oh for sure both mine were in the back garden a LOT; not in the front garden though.

in the OP's case the baby appeared to be unattended and the officers were concerned.

The risk surely is that some one MIGHT take the baby, a small risk I agree but easily ameliorated by having baby in the back garden, yes?

BertieBasset · 30/07/2010 19:06

I wouldn't leave baby in a pram in front of the house, why take the risk? Like someone said with foxes, dogs, cats about, apart from any strange people around, there is a small but definite risk there to me.

Al1son · 30/07/2010 20:10

I think that's the key. Who'd want to spend the rest of their life saying "Well I know the risk was very tiny but I really wish I hadn't taken it!"

Oblomov · 31/07/2010 18:31

small risk ? slim-to-none more like. yeah like the same risk that someone decided to get a ladder scale up and climb through your open window and steal your baby ?

how is a dog or a fox going to jump over my metre high wall ?

best you guys who are all so anxious and risk aware. best you don't set foot outside your home incase your child is hurt. oh no, thta won't work becasue more accdents happrn at home than anywhere else.

small risk. best you don't put your children in bed and sit downstairs watching tv with your husbands, then.

your rationale is ridiculous.

BertieBotts · 31/07/2010 18:38

Maybe she did notice the police officers in her garden but didn't rush out straight away since she assumed that, as police officers, they were not about to kidnap her baby.

GypsyMoth · 31/07/2010 18:50

yeah...and if there had been a child abduction it would've been 'there were community support officers on patrol,why didnt they notice/warn'.....

cant bloody win!

BoysAreLikeDogs · 31/07/2010 19:08

Oblomov why are you so sarcastic? Genuine q

We all have differing levels at which we are comfortable

I for one do not see peedos at every corner, my primary aged children walk to school alone, they are street smart and capable, as babies I was happy for them to be in the pram in the back garden but not the front. I can see why the officers were concerned, obv you can't, but ho hum

Perhaps it all depends on where one lives?

prozacfairy · 31/07/2010 19:18

Itsy I wasn't picking it just that they're age had nothing to do with it really. They saw a baby outside on it's own and investigated. Nothing was amiss so no problem imo.

2 teenagers found a very young baby possibly a newborn IIRC on the doorstep of a house around where I live a few years back. Maybe the PCSO thought it was an abandoned baby???? Not likely but can/does happen.

edam · 31/07/2010 19:24

Nothing wrong with knocking on the door to check there is someone in there keeping an eye on the baby. Plenty wrong with telling the mother off.

mamatomany · 31/07/2010 19:27

Oh I can top this ... I witnessed a child around 12 and her brother about 8 sat outside M&S food with the family dog waiting for mum to do her shopping.
Not raining, broad daylight.
Somebody called the police to report this "crime" and more shocking they came.
Found the woman, carried her shopping to the car (so not completely useless) and told her off

mumbar · 31/07/2010 19:45

YABU so was the mum. Agree if she was watching baby she would have seen the PC's before if they were deliberating for a while.

Community support officers near me are lovely and 2 on bikes happily watched ds 5 in car asleep while I ran upstairs with my shopping
Thats what I call caring police

Rollmops · 31/07/2010 19:52

Tricky.... if mother was not seen, how would one have known she was keeping eye on baby. I would have been concerned. But then again, I'm The PFB Mum and tres' proud of it...

Lynli · 31/07/2010 20:05

I wouldn't leave my baby outside, it completely goes against my instincts. I would want my baby where I could see or at least hear him.

Don't care if I am over protective, better than underprotective.

BertieBasset · 01/08/2010 19:50

"small risk ? slim-to-none more like. yeah like the same risk that someone decided to get a ladder scale up and climb through your open window and steal your baby ?"

Hmmm not really the same thing at all though is it. I'm with you Lynli, I would not be comfortable with my baby being outside alone.

I wouldn't accuse someone of being a bad mother who did decide to do this, so don't understand why someone would be so agressively critical of a mother not wanting to do this. Odd.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 01/08/2010 19:54

Crikey, you must have been lurking for some time to see the CSOs dithering, then after some time go to the door, and then be around to hear the entire conversation. Did you have nothing better to do?!