to show DS my "middle bottom"

[greedyguts]

DS (5) has been asking how babies come out of mummies. I wanted to tell him the truth (kind of) so I explained that mummies have 3 bottom bits - a front bottom for doing wees, a back bottom for doing poos and a middle bottom for babies to come out of.

He is desperate now to see the middle bottom and keeps asking me to show him. Should I? Would it scar him for life? How the hell can I stop him going on about it?

Grown women referring to their genitals as 'front', 'middle' and 'back' bottoms ffs.

Can you not grow up a bit and use the correct terminology?

thisisyesterday - When we were little we had The Body Book by Claire Rayner - it was really good. The fart page was our favourite but it also does genitals and where babies come from. I don't think it's still in print but you can get it from Amazon.

Also find it slightly odd that people are quite so hysterical at the idea of a child seeing a vagina.

Er yes, quite...I have to admit I was curious as to which bit the 'middle' was when I clicked on this. Not heard of a middle one before and wondered if it was something to do with Middle Earth..

I don't think there's any need to actually provide a demonstration.

The ones I'm thinking of are a bit older, for 8-10 year olds, I'm not sure what to recommend for a five year old.

We had these as kids, and they're on the shelf in front of me now. Delighted to see they're still available:

www.amazon.co.uk/Human-Body-Jonathan-Miller/dp/0224042106

It's 3D/pop up so easy to understand how everything works, and there is also one devoted entirely to the Facts of Life:

www.amazon.co.uk/Facts-Life-Pop-up-Book/dp/0224022423/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1280 409959&sr=1-1

They are beautiful books, and well worth having on the family bookshelf.

Sorry I've realized my last post is a bit confusing - the Miller and Pelham books are designed as family reference books, not designed as children's books as we think of them today. However, their pop-up-ness and real-ness makes them perfect for kids IMO as cartoons & non-realistic diagrams etc can sometimes be confusing.

PML at undercarriage

Another totally unshocked one here, and hugely relieved to see I'm not alone.

I have a real bee in my bonnet that most people end up entering adolescence largely uninformed about what genitals really look like. Drawings don't do them justice at all! This is how we end up with young women wanting vulval surgery because the appearance of their own bits repulses them .

We have a fabulous body book aimed at preschoolers - want to give you the title but can't find the wretched thing. I was so pleased the day dd, aged three, corrected FIL that babies come out of vaginas, not bottoms, and then went on to explain that she could have babies because she has eggs inside her.

She also knew where tampons went, so shoot me and tell me I scarred her for life then....

My children see me naked all the time. I have no problem with that. They know the correct names for body parts, and where babies come from, etc. But as my DS is older now, I wouldn't be opening my legs and pulling my labia apart to show him the intimate details of my vagina. KWIM?

Agreed slouching. "Here is the hole" is just too too much.

thanks Jane and porcupine, will have a look at both of those :-)

Of course children should have an awareness of their own bodies etc, and not be told that things are dirty, wrong etc. But I don't think seeing their mother's intimate parts is the answer here.

My parents were hippies and were naked more than they were dressed (or so it seemed sometimes!).

I wasn't scarred for life or anything but I can't say I'm particularly thrilled to have those naked memories of my folks.

I think mums and dads should be mums and dads, not sexual entities. They can be as sexual as they please with each other, but most kids will think 'eww' once they're old enough to add it all up.

It is normal enough for a wee kid to want to see his mums bits, for curiosity. But do the future grown up man a favour and say no.

ah ha but being naked is not sexual

unless your parents were walking around obviously aroused, feeling each other up and shagging over the kitchen table at lunch time then there surely was nothing sexual about it?

i think it's good particularly for boys, to see that naked women are people. real people- liek their mum or sister. i think it's very easy for children to grow up never really seeing a naked female body and at some point they are exposed to some sort of pornography and that becomes their "norm" iyswim?

Naked adults are sexual, to me anyway. The only adult bodies I usually see naked are my DPs and my own, apart from ladies in the gym changing room.

I agree totally that boys should know what real naked girls and women look like. But I'm uncomfortable with that being their sister or their mum, tbh.

Each to their own but I just like thinking of my own family members as fully clothed. Once you've seen it you can't unsee it if you know what I mean.

I once walked in on my friend's dad sitting on the loo. I didn't see any naked bits but even still - the episode is imprinted on my brain for life. And not in a good way.

I haven't read all the posts but I agreed with Minipie.

I am shocked at the reaction to this post. It is surely just another part of your body. DH and I dress, shower, go for a wee in front of our ds, who will shortly be four. He sees my dhs penis everyday, it would be no different if ds were a dd. Our 'bits' are not always about sex, and are just as normal as any other part of our body.

Ours are teenagers & we all occasionally see each other naked.

Definately agree with using correct terminology.
My friend used to refer to her vagina as her 'susan', was alright until her son started school- he had 2 in his class!

I have no problem with young children seeing adults naked in an everyday situation where nakedness would naturally occur. I also have no problem at all with being honest with children, explaining things to them and giving them information about anatomy.

But that wasn't the question - we were asked if it was unreasonable for OP to show the DS her genitalia - that's different, I don't think it's prudish to let children know there is a time and a place for everything, asking to see someone else's genitals is not generally considered acceptable in the society we live in. So if you do it, you are likely to meet with an adverse reaction. Presumably OP also thinks this way since she later came back and said she was joking.

It's important that children are comfortable with their own bodies and feel no shame or embarrassment, but it is also important for their own social and physical wellbeing that they know some things are personal and private, and you do not have to show your body in response to others demands.

Yes but a mans genitalia is clearly visible when naked, so it's ok for a child to see that but not a womans, just because it is naturally more hidden ?

Quite, AandO.

OP reminds me of an incident when DS was nearly 2, and showing a huge interest in DH's winky. He would race to the loo and gaze in wonder as he peed
Anyhow, he wondered in once when Iwas in the loo, as toddlers do, pointed to my fanjo (I wasn't showing him btw), had a think, and said "Pig, oink oink"

Can I ask others then how much to tell their dc (at a young age) is too much? I suppose Im referring to my cousin's attitude of sheltering her dc so to speak, with many many .. well... lies really. I do understand though, of course, there are some things of course, that children dont need to know just yet and we all do want to keep them innocent.

My 4 year old dd has often ran into the bathroom and caught me weeing when Im having my period, she has seen bloody sanitary towel (sorry way tmi), which I would have prefered her not to, but as you'll all know know privacy is very difficult with small children about. She did look a little worried, that I was hurt and I've just explained to her that this happens to all women, to enable them to eventually have babies, that its normal and fine and that Im not hurt but that its private to girls and it will eventually happen to her too.

Shes my PFB, I suppose Im only learning but family have hinted that, at times, Im too honest with her - i.e. age appropriate honesty. (sorry for hijack) but what are others opinons then?

It's just another part of a body but it's a private part, ment to be looked at by a partner and a doctor/midwife/nurse, that's it. Draw a picture if you must, he needs to learn that parts of a body are private though.