to get a bit sensitive when my DH says

[MilMae]

I look "ugly"????
Had DS 6 months ago, lost most of baby weight - I'm a size 8-10, but still a bit(some days a lot) of baby ouch. Can't remember ever putting make up on, except once or twice we gone out, since then.
I try to laugh it out and joke back: "look at your fat belly".
Maybe he is only joking, but sometimes I get a bit sensitive...
I am just being a whimper?

OMG what a prize twat.

i am so for you op.

OP what do you mean walk on 5 inch heels? why would you have to walk in heels?

I've got a 7 month old, and at no time has DH made me feel anything but attractive, even at 39 weeks pregnant when I felt like a mountain.

Calling someone ugly just isn't a normal 'joke', it's at the expense of the person it's being said to.

I wouldn't react as if it was a joke if it was said to me, I think you need to tell him how much it hurts when he says it. Is it possible he genuinely doesn't realise he's upsetting you and he sees it as some kind of weird banter? I mean you are laughing it off to his face.

What they said. My partner always tells me I'm beautiful, especially when I'm feeling down or saying bad things about myself. He has implied things like ugly but only when we're teasing each other and trading insults and it's obvious to both that's what's happening. It usually ends in play fights. He'd never let me believe it and even if we were teasing and he thought I did he'd hug me and tell me I wasn't.

i want to know about the heels?

Oh and you don't have to make an effort to be beautiful. You're the mother of his child, that's amazing! He doesn't want a wife, he wants a handbag, a trophy...

She means she can't be arsed tottering around in 5 inch heels, she ovb did before she had the baby.

Your dh sounds like an absolute nob head btw OP.

I put on three stone over 3 children, and don't have time to brush my hair. My DH still thinks I'm gorgeous.

Your DH is a prize twat. I'd be seriously considering what you're getting out of this relationship, tbh.

PS...I know what you mean about returnung to work by the way...I've been the same every time. Love the kids dearly but need to occupy by brain with other things at times to keep my sanity. I hope when the 'old you' returns, you kick his ass.

ah right, thank you. so that is what her (D)H would prefer her to wear?

I think so, yes.

my calf is bigger than a size 8-10.

your husband is a complete and utter cock. Don't joke back. look him square in the eye and say " you really are a cunt" and walk away.

When he comes to find you and tells you he is sorry you can point out that your ugly body just produced his child.

And if he still does it, in future you should kick him in the cock

What a dick

What a sad thread. It really upsets me that women are with such dick heads.

How do you react when he says this ? do you show that your upset ? if so and he still says it then you've really got some major issues going on ! if you laugh at him then perhaps he thinks it's just a joke ?, some couples do "insult" each other in a loving way if you know what I mean ? just need to know how you normally interact with each other ?

YANBU - He's being a twat.
And I think Gigantaur has the best response if he does it again in the future!

is he controlling in other ways?

WHAT?? YANBU to be sensitive ...YABR to be hurt and angry.

Milmae,
Please don't be . DH sounds like harder work than 6 months old baby.

Explain to your DH that all it would take for you to look amazing 24/7 is a full time live-in Norland nanny, (about £800 a week + living expenses), not cheap but he obviously is a man with very high standards...

And absolutely right you go back to work, get some of your life back and keep him on his toes for a change.

I have 2 children, had sections so have the overhang. I am heavier now than I have ever been (size 18). Haven't worn make up for heaven knows how long. Never wear heals any more. Have a very basic 'beauty' (for want of another word) routine. I am often in sweats when dh gets home as I find them warm & comfy. Dh tells me often that he loves me now more than ever!

Your dh is a twat to say what he did, it shouldn't matter what you look like!

heels

That's horribly unsupportive of 'd'h, OP, and really hurtful. You definitely need to address this head on and stop the 'jokes' . It's crucial to hear what he has to say when you tell him it's unacceptable when he says these things. If he's just being an oblivious oaf and didn't realise he was hurting you that's one thing, but if not...?

BTW though, don't see why people are about returning to work and feeling more like yourself.

And there's nothing wrong with aspiring to look good again and wearing heels!

When I went back to work it did boost my self esteem to lose weight, make an effort, put heels on and feel attractive in the 'real world' again. I ALWAYS WEAR HEELS!!!!! (am v short)

Clearly she has told him, because:
yes, I have told him, but still he says I don't look after myself anymore

So he obviously thinks that it's alright to be cruel and insulting to the mother of your child in order to "encourage" them into resuming their status as his trophy partner.

thanks girls for the supportive replies. I'm having a brighter day today

What a horrible thing for him to say

thats a vile word. vile

pig, in fact thats an insult to pigs

am sure you are not ugly, he sounds like a cunt tho