to get annoyed at people who let their DC stand in supermarket trollies?

[ModreB]

I just think that it is disgusting when you see people letting their DC put filthy feet and shoes (which could have walked in poo) inside the trollies where I am going to be putting my FOOD instead of sitting them in the seat or letting them actually use their legs and WALK.

thats why I get so many dirty looks in waitrose! seriously did not think it annoyed people so much!!!!

now I know. wont stop me doing it though.

Riven Why don't you think children should sit in the trolley. My children don't arse around - they sit in the trolley. Trolley's have high sides - they don't need straps for safety.

Yes it is more difficult to take a trolley and a buggy in, to say otherwise is daft. It also clutters up a busy supermarket even more (and yes, I do understand you need both for your DD and that's fine) we don't need every parent using both in the supermarket, we'd never get moved in there!).

Define sensible - I think it's sensible to put little ones in the trolley because they get knocked by baskets and other peoples trolly's when they are small and are walking around the shop. Admittedly I prefer them in the front seat, but if they didn't fit or would be much happier in the big bit, then they would go in the big bit.

A buggy is not a toy, a high chair is not a toy - they sit in those? Your point is?

I know your older ones are teenagers and there wasn't the internet option like there is now. People shopped more locally, more often. Lots of things are done differently - life moves on.

If your DD was NT and you drove to the supermarket and she was tired/whingey and you just wanted to get the shopping done, keep her in a good mood and not be worrying about her getting knocked by someone elses trolley or basket (which does happen even when they are standing right next to you) - how absolutely sure are you that you wouldn't put her in the trolley??

It is not part of the culture of not saying 'No' - mind understand the concept of 'No' just fine. I am a strict parent, not a 'let them do as they please' parent by any stretch of the imaginiation.

It's got nothing to do with them walking 'nicely' either. I am not getting them knocked by other people not looking where they are going and this does happen, no matter how 'nicely' they walk or how close to the trolley.

Putting a child in the trolley has nothing to do with sitting nicely in a restaurant, which mine are also very good at.

I;m glad I have normal children who like to do dangerous things in trolleys and that they have survived to adulthood based in part on the skills they learned balancing in trollies etc.....

Although I never volutnarily step in a shop veyr much these days and order online so the issue has gone away. Thank goodness for David Cameron and his desire to get rid of pointless health and safety laws.

Perhaps we need a balance your child ona trolley and let it climb from trees day- the child who takes risks is the child who is being brought up better.

I walk/bus to the supermarket on crutches, my eldest at my side and my youngest in the sling. If I can't push a pushchair normally, how am I supposed to do it at Tesco?

Our nursery said to me the other day you can tell the children who walk everywhere compared to the ones who are always in buggies and cars because they never want to walk and complain about doing things.

My eldest can walk around fine, doesn't mess around but as everyone else says you can't control everyone else in the supermarket!

Xenia Haven't seen you around much lately - I miss your 'balanced' view point!

Riven - it's not much of a discussion when you don't answer any questions and just keep repeating yourself.

what about the homeless guy who lives in the carpark & pisses on the trollies nightly?

Seriously, if you think those trollies are cleaner than a toddlers shoes, your barking mad. Do you think Tesco have a steam clean department for the trollies to bathe in after you've done for the day? They will never be cleaned ever.

Riven - I have already said mine occasionally sit inside the trolley and they don't arse around. I have repeatedly told you why I don't like them walking around the supermarket - why do you insist on ignoring this and making the point that all children in supermarket trolleys are brats and their parents are lazy/rubbish.

You still haven't given a good reason why they shouldn't sit in the trolley.

There were four questions in my lengthy post to you - you chose to ignore all of them and just re-state your POV that these children are brats and the parents useless....

There's no debate/discussion in this, so I'm off to find something more interesting to discuss....

Oh and by the way - you can avoid them - order on-line.

fgs we don't like it so what! you can continue to ferry around your little angels in them but don't expect everyone to approve as they see you huffing and puffing trying to shift it.

I agree with Riven - I am a single mum who works full time who deos not want to spend any more time in a supermarket than ds does

BUT..... It is something that has to be done, he benefits nice things to eat etc and I expect him to behave - walk around, sit in seat (up to 3yrs ish)

I used a wrist strap for ds (well I didn't use but he knew I would if he chose to run off!) but I expect all those who let child sit in trolley for ease wouldn't use a restraint as see it as a breach of child right etc

Incidently my ds didn't and doesn't tantrum - whether this is just luck/ personality or the fact he wouldn't get his way if he did for reasons mentioned above who knows but I prefer the behave at the supermarket this morning ds and we will pack up our lunch and go to the park for a picnic.

Therefore its all fun at the supermarket choosing fruit/ snadwich things for picnic and he gets to run around appropriatly.

Poppin I agree with all you've said too.

Wow wild generalisations much???

I don't use reigns because I've had to teach my eldest that she walks with me and she knows Mummy can't run after her. It didn't take long of me standing still or leaving her on the floor to realise that Mummy just can't. Harnesses on everything else get used on the youngest, although they're generally not set up for 18 month olds in 4 month old bodies so we fight to keep her in. Last time I went to Tesco my sling was used to tie her into the trolley.

Usually both my children are in the seats or the eldest walks. It's not often I use the main trolley, my crutches take up enough space as it is, but when I do it's because I am not having a day where I can manoeuvre her into the seat. Probably done that twice (I can only remember once, but not sure I haven't) but again she knows that she needs to help me and sits still. If I'm that bad I can't empty the trolley either so she packs things as they come in and unpacks them at the desk.

A few weeks ago I had the luxury of their dad with me, I kicked the girls out the trolley, lay on the baby seat and walked around bent in half because I was in so much pain.

Confuddled - I'm sorry you spend so much time in such paid

Why don't you order on-line?

Why could your DH not have gone and done the shopping without you all?

I don't have a bank card so can't order online and he works away a lot. That day he actually met me in there as he was working at home. I wouldn't trust him to be honest. He'd come back with enough for today, he can't think about shopping for a week in advance and things I'd buy he wouldn't because he wouldn't see the need.

To be honest I need the time out anyway. Most of the time I can cope with it, but occasionally it hits me harder than I was expecting. I've had PGP for the last five years following a fall when I was pregnant.

I used to let DS (now nearly 4) sit in the big part of a trolley, which usually resulted in him standing in it, until one day about 6 months ago when he fell inside the trolley and really hurt himself. Now I insist he sits in the seat instead. I don't in any way judge others for letting their children in the main part of trolleys - anything to make a shopping treat as stress free as possible!

AND (Riven you'll freak at this!), when DS hurt himself in the trolley, he wet himself, so there was wee on the trolley. We still used it...

That sounds awful - is there any chance it will heal/go away/be operated on? Or is it something you will have to just live with?

Can you not get a bank card/visa card? (No need to answer, I know some people can't due to financial circumstances). If you can I would!

When DH is around, give him a list. Explain that if he likes his testicles attached to his body he wont come home without everything that's on it!!

Time out - yes you do need time out.... but go and do something nice, not sodding supermarket shopping!!

confuddled - my post was not meant to be personal or general and I'm sorry your situation is difficult but it's a personal one not what the op is getting at. Your dd sounds lovely btw.

I just believe with others about children walking because they should not not walking because its easier.

I speak from seeing this with aquiantance whos oldest dc now 6 has walked since 18months with pushchair and in supermarket since 3 as both dcs wouldn't fit in double seater. However youngest now 5 (friend of ds) still sits in trolly seat as she refuses to walk and is allowed to for easy life by mum and also had pushchair until she started school as she would tantrum (and still does) if made to walk.
From this and IME/O children don't do things that they aren't expected to because they chose not to not because they can't.

My view may be clouded by my experience of this child mentioned above (Iknow no others who have been babyfied this way to compare to) but IME I don't see them just growing out of it as pp have said but maybe most do and this child I know isn't the norm.
BTW when we have her to play she drinks from a cup (not bottle), walks to park, round shops etc without a problem.

I have no idea what's going to happen. I was referred for physio at one point but I'm on my own most of the time so it was impossible to go to appointments with two children and no pushchair.

Can't get a card because I don't have an account and not easy to deal with when you're not working. I'd love one, I miss the freedom of being able to shop without stopping at the post office (in work hours of course) first.

Unfortunately he's not here often enough to make a difference, I get him to do mini shops when I can't get up there but he can though.

I do take them nice places too, but I'm actually grateful for the chance to go shopping lol I can make most of a day out of it, meet Mum/ OH at the cafe then take my time doing the shopping and Dad or OH picks me up after work or I just get a taxi back. LOL that sounds sad but we do other things too!

Going back a bit, I'm not sure why anyone thinks that another parent needs their approval?

Confuddled - I'm sorry, I don't want to keep on if you don't want to talk about it. I'm quite aware you came into a debate about shopping trolleys and are now discussing your life!! Feel free to tell me to shut up .

There must be a way to get some help with the kids so you can go to physio - can you not afford a babysitter? Your parents, a neighbour, friends.... you need to get this sorted out!!!

Can you get a card on OH's account?

Is there anything OH could do to be home more??

Sorry, you just sound quite (understandably) fed-up and sad and I'd like to help but don't know how

Not sure what you mean about 'I'm not sure why anyone thinks that another parent needs their approval?' Do you mean why do I care what other people do about putting kids in trolleys and why do they care if I do or not?? If that is what you mean, it's just judgeyness

That's OK lol

Our parents work - his dad is in a similar position (similar trade) that he works away all the time and his mum doesn't drive and my parents work difficult hours. I don't really know anyone I can ask and as I'm on benefits I don't really have the money to pay out for sitters.

OH doesn't have an account because an old boss did something nasty to him (long story) that's made it difficult to get a new one. His money goes into my mum's account.

I'm getting by, I have a pattern now so I'm OK. This thread has got me fed up at the judgyness of some people.

The approval comment was to someone who said do it if you like but don't expect me to approve

I just saw the cross post earlier.

Thanks Mumbar, she is a darling, has her moments like all children but she also knows that sometimes she needs to help me and I can't mess about. Was a little scary at first when she lay down in the road refusing to move but I guess any child when they realise their parents don't do tantrums will soon stop. I'm also fortunate it's in her nature to be nice, she likes to help out and thinks of everyone, I definitely got the right child

I'm sorry, I get cross at people doing what I did on things like section and formula - taking general things and applying them to unusual situations.