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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if people actually mean it when they say they love jesus more than anyone/anything else??

45 replies

phoenixflower · 28/07/2010 10:13

I am in no way insulting religion or saying anyone's beliefs are wrong, but was just curious. Have been going to an elim church for a while now, introduced by a friend.

On a number of occasions, I have heard people say that they love jesus more than anything,he is their "number 1", they always "put him first" before their children/husband/wife etc.

One sermon was about how our children are not actually ours, they are God's that he has given us to bring up to be like jesus and that when he sees fit to take them ( to heaven) he will.

It un-nerved me a bit and made me feel uncomfortable and am now wondering whether or not to go back.

Surely people don't love Jesus more than their own children do they? For me, it's my DC I love ( and always will) more than anything! Do they mean it when they say they love jesus more than anything?!

Don't want to cause any upset here, just wondered really. If those are your beliefs then that is totally fine, I am just struggling to get my head around it a bit

OP posts:
TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 28/07/2010 10:24

This was certainly the view of a priest at a wedding I was at a bit ago. He also thought the pill was Satans greatest tool, that all other forms of christianity (including more liberal catholics) were inspired by Satan and that everyone was giving the Catholic church and awfully hard time recently.

Chil1234 · 28/07/2010 10:26

YANBU. Don't go back because they almost certainly do mean it. There is a line between 'religious' and 'fanatical'. Leaving monks and nuns to one side, the type of person that puts devotion to their deity over and above real people, family or otherwise has simply got their priorities wrong..

justaboutblowingbubbles · 28/07/2010 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Chil1234 · 28/07/2010 10:37

But this bunch of crackpots are talking about children not belonging to parents and God taking them to heaven when he sees fit!!! Sounds like something that might have been said during the Black Death to comfort the peasant classes as their children dropped like flies... not at all appropriate for the 21st century.

EmmaKateWH · 28/07/2010 10:50

YANBU unreasonable. I am an atheist and proud!
After my friend's 5 year old son died of leukaemia a god-squadder cheerfully told her that there was nothing to be sad about, so she should "perk up, because God just didn't have a plan for him on earth".

swanandduck · 28/07/2010 11:35

They're talking spiritually. They don't literally mean you should go to Church and leave your sick child alone at home, or anything like that.

swanandduck · 28/07/2010 11:35

ps EmmaKate What that woman said to your Child was insensitive and tactless.

Chil1234 · 28/07/2010 11:47

"They don't literally mean...."

That's just the trouble. There are clearly people at that church that really do 'literally mean' they put Jesus above their families. The pastor's sermon rather sets the tone as to what is expected. If you join up with a community like that spirituality is ultimately less important than peer-pressure to conform with the herd belief system. The OP is having trouble accepting what she's heard already and would find herself ostracised or bullied if she dared disagree. Churches can be miserable cliques if you don't toe the party line.

AgentZigzag · 28/07/2010 11:47

I thought it has something to do with God telling Abraham to kill his son Isaac to prove that following Gods word comes above anything on earth.

Obedience to Gods law rather than the laws of man.

But then I'm no expert, so I might just be making that up

swanandduck · 28/07/2010 12:03

How do you know all that Chil. I didn't read anything about being bullied or ostracised in the Opening Post. I'm not defending fanatical, OTT religious Sects or anything, but I think there's a difference between them and established religions.

Chil1234 · 28/07/2010 12:17

I know from personal experience with churches. Small-mindedness is rife even amongst the most sleep congregations and I've seen people reduced to tears over who's turn it is to do the altar flowers. People shunned at social events for minor disagreements. Churches may be set up as a place of holy worship but as vulnerable to the same failings as any other place where human-beings of like mind gather together. Those people who are 'putting Jesus first' over their families could be uber-religious but are also quite likely to be exhibiting religious one upmanship.

Firawla · 28/07/2010 12:45

what's wrong with saying they belong to God? obviously if you believe in God it means that He gave ur children to you, and if He wills he can take them back, by way of illness or whatever else, its all down to His decree. That does not mean we dont consider them ours or love them, look after them properly etc. Just we understand that everything we have is from God, and that anything could be taken @ any time, not just dc but health, house etc.. which is true. You just be grateful for your blessings which you have, and dont take for granted. So I dont get what is so shocking here on that one? Its not only during black death plague times that children can die!! or adults too...
Not christian btw (Muslim) but i thought this thinking is common 2 many religions

swanandduck · 28/07/2010 12:47

Well, it's also what Roman Catholics are told.

YetAnotherIssue · 28/07/2010 13:25

There are some really dumb ass posters on this thread if you can't get that most religions believe that we all belong to God and it doesn't mean kids are loved less or neglected! If anything because they belong to God we should treat them with even greater care than love.

OP are you the type that takes one verse out the bible without reading the entire thing and then blow it all out of proportion? Maybe you should ask the preacher what he meant instead of a bunch of athiests who have never picked up a bible in their lives!

lemonysweet · 28/07/2010 13:36

my children belong to themselves, not to me or any imaginary friends.

[i would normally be more tactful about religion but the extremist attitudes 'god took your child to be an angel' and all that crap really get on my wick. having lost a child before he even got a chance to live and having several people tell me he is a sleeping baby angel...its not comforting.]

PauloNuttella · 28/07/2010 13:41

Um, YetAnotherIssue - you'll probably consider me a dumb ass as well (Thanks )
I consider myself an atheist, having read the bible from cover to cover. I found parts of it very disturbing, and, having come from a very strong church-going background, actually find the "dumb-asses" to be those who blindly believe what the bible and their priest tells them without question. (and don't forget that the bible is largely a collection of stories, a mixture of fact and fiction)
For example - my aunt is a lovely lady, was "born again" in her twenties. She has disowned her gay son. Apparently God was testing her by sending him, and as he is a terrible sinner , she won't have anything to do with him. He is 17.

PhoenixFlower - if you are feeling uncomfortable with what you heard, don't go back there. Some people believe, and that's up to them, it doesn't mean you have to believe it too.

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/07/2010 13:43

Dumbass - what a fine display of Christian spirit

People who say to parents of dead children 'they are looking down on you in heaven/they are in a better place/insert ludicrous statement here' should learn tact and diplomacy.

lemonysweet · 28/07/2010 13:48

GetOrfMyLand-
we had a few people who tried the 'they are in a better place' line on me.
my DH at the time usually said something like 'he's dead, not in fucking candyland'

its not comforting at all. you really thijnk he's in a better place? the best place is HERE with ME.

SaintIncognita · 28/07/2010 13:49

Agreeing with what Justa says, but would assume that what the preacher from the OP would be about being grateful for our blessings and not to take them for granted.

For my own part, putting Jesus first means making sure I get some quiet time with Him scheduled into the day somewhere, otherwise my family will eat up all my time. Nothing more sinister than that.

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/07/2010 13:52

Lemony I cannot understand WHY people sayng something so trite to you would be so helpful.

What thoughtless morons.

MrsGangly · 28/07/2010 14:16

God does come first in my life, or should do. I admit I don't often act like that is the case.

But precisely because God comes first, comes my love and compassion and gratitude for my husband and children. God has given me my husband and children for however long to love and care for them.

It also brings me comfort that God loves them too, far more than I ever will, and that he knows the plans he has for their lives already, so I can trust him in all situations, when both good and bad things happen.

(Paulo, don't forget that some of us do believe the whole Bible is the word of God and not that some of it is fact and some fiction. )

MrsGangly · 28/07/2010 14:18

I also wouldn't like to be told that my unborn children were 'sleeping angels' and would find that patronising and upsetting. I do believe that children who die do go to heaven because of God's mercy and love, but have to battle with knowing that I would still rather have them here with me on earth.

PauloNuttella · 28/07/2010 14:26

MrsGangly - sorry, no offence intended there at all.
Most of my family believe the bible is the word of God, and that's what I grew up with.
I chose a different path when I hit my 20's

JebusBuiltMyHotQuads · 28/07/2010 14:44

Jesus? no...

Jebus on the other hand....yes! He made me an awesome pair of roller skates

as you were...

lemonysweet · 28/07/2010 15:31

ZombieJeebus!