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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is it a bit rude??

79 replies

OutOutLetItAllOut · 27/07/2010 09:08

my friends childcare bailed on her this week, so i offerd to have her 3 kids while she is at work.
they are good kids, no probs really other than the odd argument or moan...
anyway, she sent them with a bag each of toys, inc nintendo ds each, ( so 3), yesterday child 1 plugged it in to charge it, but didnt play it here, so really it didnt need to be charged, and today child 2 and 3 both walked in and plugged them in so they can play them later..
is that rude??
i think she shuld make sure they are charged at home so the kids have them to play, not to send them with the idea that they can do that here..

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 27/07/2010 09:31

Oh I agree that asking should definitely happen for most things that you want to do in someone else's house. That's politeness and general good manners that ought to be automatic, which is why I still see it as an issue between OP and the children.
Puts pressure on the mum to find alternative solutions though, rather than worrying about her three children in the claws of a control freak. One of the reasons that my two don't visit one of their aunties without me.

upahill · 27/07/2010 09:32

Yes you are.

ChippingIn · 27/07/2010 09:35

MMM - you seriously object to your step son charging his ipod/phone at his Dad's house?

AmazingBouncingFerret · 27/07/2010 09:35

It wouldnt even occur to me to be bothered by this. I probably wouldnt even notice tbh!

TrinityRhino · 27/07/2010 09:36

yabu

silly thing to care about

MathsMadMummy · 27/07/2010 09:37

I happily let him I just think, um, you could've charged it at home y'know

I just think when you're that piss poor badly off that literally every pound counts it's not BU to be miffed about that stuff. we are thankfully not quite at that level but we still have to be anal about turning lights off, not boiling more than necessary in the kettle etc, otherwise we would get behind on the bills and be put on a meter - and prepay electric is more expensive per unit than normal, which is why I think the OP isn't BU to be a bit upset.

ShirleyKnot · 27/07/2010 09:41

i-phones/i-touches use masses of battery, I have to charge mine every night. Just so you know that he's not doing to at yours rather than "at home"

yuck.

cupofcoffee · 27/07/2010 09:44

Wouldn't bother me. Not on prepay though so don't know much about that. I certainly would not consider this rude, probably they have just not thought it through. Kids don't think about electric bills as its not something they have to deal with. The mum probably doesn't keep track of when each ds needs charging as its something her dc are old enough to sort out themselves. If it is a problem for you I would just politely mention to mum that it is causing you difficulty and taking up too many of your power sockets so could she please remind them to charge at home beforehand. It only becomes rude if they continue once you have made them aware that it is causing problems.

MathsMadMummy · 27/07/2010 09:44

I should probably clarify the reason I'm is because he's mega scatty and has forgotten to do it at home.

it's a tiny ipod so doesn't need charging a lot.

and I don't actually object - if I did I wouldn't let him would I

Boobz · 27/07/2010 09:45

You are a bit of an oddity OP, as you're lovely enough to volunteer to have 3 kids for the day, but then weird enough to worry about 15p or whatever? Just bizarre. YABU and quite frankly, the oddest person I've come across on MN for ages.

ShirleyKnot · 27/07/2010 09:49
Hmm
MathsMadMummy · 27/07/2010 09:50

what?

YunoYurbubson · 27/07/2010 09:56

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...

ShirleyKnot · 27/07/2010 09:56

It's the scattiness that bothers you not the fact that he's using the electricity? What a strange random thing to insert into a thread about electricity usage.

I just, honestly, find it strange for someone to think about children plugging electronic devices in to charge, let alone family.

mumbar · 27/07/2010 09:57

I understand what your saying op I would find it rude for a child to just walk in and plug ds in to charge. Its just polite to ask but I expect they have played it at home and when batteries been low Mum has probably said Im sure x won't mind you charging it at hers and so they have presuming your are ok with it.

I expect crossed wires here but if you are on a pre pay and have to watch electricity then I can see why it could be a problem.

MathsMadMummy · 27/07/2010 09:58

Oh FGS maybe a emoticon would've been better as it's more of a "oh go on then" type thing

good point cupofcoffee about the kids actually just not being aware of electric bills, maybe their parents are better off!

I would hazard a guess that on the meter 3 kids charging their DSs would cost more than 15p? (I don't know)

but say it was around £1, that's a bus fare so it wouldn't BU to be upset, IMO

plantsitter · 27/07/2010 09:58

If you say something to her she will assume you're regretting your offer to look after her kids and using the DS charging as a reason to moan. It does sound a bit weird to mention it. I know how annoying it is when your pre-pay electricity runs out though.

If it's really the money can't you ask them to leave the DSes at home because they're not being used and you're worried they'll get damaged/lost on your watch?

MathsMadMummy · 27/07/2010 10:11

hmmmm having thought about it maybe the reason I'm a bit about charging things is that I see all these items (apart from phones) like ipods, DSs etc as really frivolous and as getting in the way of social interaction.

I saw two girls, maybe 9ish, on the train each with their own i-touches, and I was totally unashamedly judgeypants about it. I wanted to say FFS turn them off and actually TALK TO EACH OTHER. they looked liked zombies

foureleven · 27/07/2010 10:14

Foureleven giving out like there's no tomorrow today!

Original poster
OutOutLetItAllOut · 27/07/2010 10:17

MMM, i really have no issue with consoles, i pod, phones and the lot, but i thought it was really rude to walk in, unplugg my tv and iron to plug in the chargers, for something i have already told them they wont need as we are going out. and there is no way in hell im taking them with us, cause if they get lost then there would be murder.

OP posts:
TheDoodler · 27/07/2010 10:27

12, 10 and 9 year old don't really think about Ironing or the cost of electricity on a day to day basis though. How old are your DCs?

I think it might be the whirlwind intrusion getting to you - think about whether you'd normally be bothered with this if it were one child or a younger one.

Ladyanonymous · 27/07/2010 10:34

Have I missed something here?

What is the problem exactly?

EightiesChick · 27/07/2010 10:35

A bit rude perhaps, but given that the other child's one was being charged at yours the day before, then presumably they'd seen that and just thought it was OK to go ahead and charge theirs the next day? They won't have been thinking of the electricity bill at all at that age.

I can understand how the little things would get your goat, but I would be calm and just say 'Make sure you ask me before you put anything on to charge because I might want to have something else plugged in'. Mild annoyance yes but not a big deal. Pick your battles and all that.

differentnameforthis · 27/07/2010 10:49

I happily let him I just think, um, you could've charged it at home y'know

Erm....he IS at home, isn't he? Or id YOUR house, not HIS house too!?

sheeplikessleep · 27/07/2010 10:56

If this was me, I'd have thought 'bit rude not to ask', as they're in someone else's house, but at that age, they wouldn't even think about it. The cost wouldn't bother me, but I'd have said similar to EightiesChick, to ask the kids to ask you if they want to again (to say it's fine, but it's courtesy).