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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sell wedding presents on E-bay?

37 replies

Chooks · 26/07/2010 19:33

Feel so bad about this. We were given alot of frames, pictures and even a couple of clocks that just aren't 'us'. Strapped for cash, and they're all just stashed away. Would it be realy awful to sell them?

OP posts:
EveWasFramed72 · 26/07/2010 19:39

How long ago were they given to you?

Original poster
Chooks · 26/07/2010 19:41

2 months ago

We're moving house (re-locating in fact) which is why I've thought about it. I know they will never be used.

OP posts:
gingernutlover · 26/07/2010 19:42

If it was ages ago and the givers wont ever know then no YANBU

If it was last week and your mum gave them to you then might be a bad idea.

zerominuszero · 26/07/2010 19:42

Do it if you want, just for GOD'S SAKE don't tell anyone you're doing it.

Firawla · 26/07/2010 19:42

would be better to do it not on ebay where there is a risk of the giver coming across them, but if possible to sell more discretely? i mean not likely they will see it, but you never know, there is a chance and could cause offense

gingernutlover · 26/07/2010 19:43

agree, do it but dont make it obvious.

Tinykins · 26/07/2010 19:43

Of course not. You are never going to use them anyway. I gave mine to a charity shop, (sort of alleviated any guilt as the money was going to someone in need) but either way get rid if you dont want them.

gingernutlover · 26/07/2010 19:44

hmmm dont list them as unwated wedding presents either!

Is your ebay ID anything liek your real name?

Salbysea · 26/07/2010 19:44

YANBU, I don't keep gifts that I won't use / enjoy
better for the environment that they go to someone who will use them than for them to be unused in an attic

huffythethreadslayer · 26/07/2010 19:44

I'd do it on Ebay. You can always tell the person you got two and sold the other persons... Seriously, though..they're gifts. If they're no good for you, most givers would be happy at best to know you were doing, non-plussed at the very worst.

Original poster
Chooks · 26/07/2010 19:47

Hadn't thought about them coming across them on Ebay...hmmm, car boot?

Also that's made me consider the possibility of them visting and not seeing their gift displayed. How would I get out of that?! Maybe this is a bad idea!

OP posts:
Salbysea · 26/07/2010 19:49

unless they are bespoke / very unique, how would the giver identify them?

and do people search ebay for items they've recently given as gifts?

I'd say ebay is fine as long as not "for collection"

Original poster
Chooks · 26/07/2010 19:49

My name on Ebay is my real name, good cover story though huffy!

OP posts:
GrendelsMum · 26/07/2010 22:37

Beware - I was on Ebay and spotted the previous owner of our house selling the curtains that she had left behind and then subsequently collected. What are the chances of that?

Rockbird · 26/07/2010 22:41

Tikykins, how long after the wedding did you bung them in the charity shop? That's appalling. Why not just say you didn't want any presents rather than make people spend money they might not necessarily have been able to afford? A totally different scenario to selling them because you're skint btw although I think 2 months after the event is a bit of a cheek. Why let people waste their money on you?

Original poster
Chooks · 27/07/2010 11:24

Rockbird - we didn't ask for any gifts, anyone that asked what we would like were told vouchers or money. We didn't have a gift list (I think that would be a bit of a cheek) but maybe we should have, would've saved this dilema. Do you think I should put them on display?

OP posts:
Tinykins · 27/07/2010 11:31

Rockbird - We did need gifts as we had just bought our first home and had nothing to put in it. We had a wedding list in Debenhams and many people bought us stuff from the list but just as many bought us tons and tones of crystal and china from elsewhere that we never asked for, wanted, or would use.

So after 7 years of these boxes of stuff taking up a whole spare room I took them all off, over 3 trips, to Oxfam, where I like to think that someone has benefitted from the proceeds, somewhere.

What else was I to do?

Oblomov · 27/07/2010 11:37

tis easy to spot on e-bay. i sold some of our wedding gifts. sometime after. i am not sure what to advise.

Salbysea · 27/07/2010 12:25

Rockbird you can ask for no presents, or vouchers or something, but people will still turn up with gifts

we asked for suggested vouchers, but in my culture people wouldn't dream of turning up without something wrapped or in an envelope (or both) so we still got loads of gifts even though we have no room or desire for them, we gracefully received them, should we embarrassed our guests by saying "nah, you keep them" or something?

everythingiseverything · 27/07/2010 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhCobblers · 27/07/2010 13:16

i've got a real thing about clutter - i'm the complete opposite to my mother who has every type of ornament going which i can't stand in her house - can't put a damn coffee cup down as there's no space .

i've sold birthday and xmas presents on ebay and in some cases found out where the gift was from and took it back to the shop (like Everything) and got credit.

life is too short to have unwanted and unused stuff lying around - get something you'll want and use IMHO.

i would much rather a friend took back something that i gave than just sit on it for the sake of it.

Salbysea · 27/07/2010 14:11

I'd hate to think that anyone I'd bought a gift for was displaying it out of duty where THEY (not me) had to look at it each day and bawk at it if the hated it

much rather they traded it in for cash or something they want/need. I would not be offended if they returned / sold a gift

you shouldn't have items that are not good for your soul in your home - very silly thing to be doing!

Still it is nice to give something wrapped up and nice to receive something to open.

Two words that would eliminate the problem for everyone, GIFT RECEIPTS!!
they are permission from the giver to get something else

deaddei · 27/07/2010 14:18

I had a massive carboot a few months after our wedding. We had received some horrific gifts from dh's family- the silver rimmed punch bowl and place mats with hunting scenes spring to mind.
Ebay away IMO.

SloanyPony · 27/07/2010 14:35

THIS IS WHY ITS NOT SO EVIL TO HAVE A GIFT LIST

Sorry to shout. But every time there's a thread about gift lists, I end up ranting and raving that its better than finding yourself in a scenario like this. It is actually worse manners to do what the OP is doing (dont blame you though OP) than it is to have a gift list.

And saying "no gifts" DOES NOT WORK.

Its better to just have a flaming effing sodding gift list

deaddei · 27/07/2010 14:38

We did have a gift list- which most people very kindly bought from.
Just dh's family obviously had a rummage round the back of their cupboards for us.