Taking one child without the other???

[heathermumof3]

Ok is it just me or do you think I am being petty with my mother inlaw. She says she wornt have my youngest but will take my two boys to stop over and not my baby DS.

She does it all the time but today my toddler is really poorly. MY DH is on the 2 to 10 and she came over took my oldest DS I asked her to have the baby as it would really help me as my little one is realy clingy at the minute and she said no.

Im realy FF am I right to be. She never watches my daughter. she is really good she sleeps all night yes she likes attention but she is 5 months old.

Sorry wanted a rant my son has been poorly for 3 days now with a red hot temp one minute and fine the next.

5 months?

yabu, how old are the others? she just may not feel comfortable with a baby of that age. how old were the others when she started having them the night?

Unfortunately you can't force her, presumably she finds dealing with the baby as well just too much to cope with?

I'd just be grateful that she's prepared to take your boys. She may be more amenable when your DD is a bit older.

I think YABU- a 5 month old baby is demanding, and your MIL may not feel she wants a baby staying over.

I think you're lucky to have a MIL who is willing to have any children to stay- I have never had that luxury, and I'm sure neither have other Mnetters.

YABU

Sounds like MIL does loads to help you

Three kids might be a lot for your MIL to handle.
How old is she? Is she fit? Does she have them on her own, or is your FIL around to help?

I know that my Mum did not like having my 2 together for along time, and only has just got round to doing it now that they are both aat school - ie 5 and 8 years old

5 months is very young.......maybe she doesn't feel comfortable looking after such a young baby......tbh I'm a bit surprised you want her to stay overnight.

YABU she may not feel able to cope with a baby so young as well as 2 other children, even if your dd were older, coping with 3 kids is too much to ask, when we were kids we took it in turns to stay with grandparents

I wouldn't dream of anyone having my child overnight at 5 months. Unless someone offers, because they feel comfortable and up to the job , I think you're very selfish to think she should. You have one child who is unwell, but it's not really a big deal is it. Cripes I have had all four (7-13 months) throwing up and managed on my own.

YABU.

she had the others from babies. I feel bad now havent said anything to her but she never watches her even just for a hour or so.but wants the other two no problem. Sh always what wounderful grandsons she has but never mentions my DD she says laughing we don't do girls.

You're lucky to have so much help already from her! I sympathise with your situation but having lots of children is bloody hard work...

They're your children, not hers. they are your responsibility.

Oh, just read your last post. So it sounds more personal than that - OK I can see you feel it's more of a personal situation. Shame on her for singling her out for being born a girl - she doesn't know what she's missing!

YABU. She's helping you enough I would be grateful for what she is doing!

maybe she is incomfortable around baby girls, does she have a daughter?

At the moment you dd is just a baby and as soon as she becomes a little human being that wants to do girly things your MIL will melt I'm sure. She may not have had any dds of her own, has she? and so doesn't appreciate the lovely differences which make girls a bit easier for the ageing gp!! Sitting down and colouring, for one!!

Don't beat yourself up, the idea that anyone wouldn't mind such a little baby being away fro the night is really foreign to me, but then my mother lives abroad (thank God) and I would never let my PILs have for a night, ever.

YABU - I agree with deaddei. You are really lucky you have a MIL like this. Yes, it must be hard with your Ds being ill but 3 children including a 5 month baby would be very hard work for someone who is no longer used to having children on a regular basis. Your DD is not going to be aware she is "missing out" and in all probability your MIL will have her when she gets older. Count your blessings you do get some respite at night. DS is 9 next month and we have NEVER had this

If she has no experience of girls then I can see why she might be a bit wary.......she will only learn through practice (that at 5 months they're exactly the same as boys only without the penis )

and apparently I can no longer type a coherent sentence!!

x post. YANBU for being cross that she seems to be singling out your DD as she is a girl, but seems more likely that baby +2 is less manageable than when your DSs were babies.

YABU

Don't you think she does enough?

I was going to say that YABU and really mirroring what others have said, but from your other info, 'we dont do girls' me thinks she does not like girls at all and would rather not have anything to do with your dd . Would say something to them along the lines of 'well you had better start doing little girls as she is your granddaughter' I would be livid.

YABU - we have no family nearby and would love someone to look after our DDs (even just one of them) for an hour occasionally to make things easier. Dentists, opticians, doctors, they have to come with me.

Not being selfush no she has her oldest daughter and her boyfriend who looks after them. I do feel comfrtable for my 5 month old to say out because she is good and only with our parents.

The only thing is I got brought up saying you shouldn't have one with out the other. If my friends kids want to stop over I make sure I would ask there brother as well.

sounds as though your MIL does not have your dd not because she is a baby and going to be harder than the older children, its personal she does not like girls.

OK I do feel unreasonable now but yes maybe should have stated the other info at the beging. You see she has 3 grandsons and now a lovely grand daughter.

She says she dosn't do girls (even though she had a daughter)

She calls her the ginger minger one in a humous way which gets me really mad.

Yes she is a red head but she is lovely. Of course I can't say anything to my DH as its his mum. Just feeling a bit angry with it at the minute. For instance she has rang up beofre now asked how the boys where and how the dogs was not even mentioning my DD.

Don't know wether its just her dry humour but after abit I start to take it personal.