Taking one child without the other???

[heathermumof3]

Ok is it just me or do you think I am being petty with my mother inlaw. She says she wornt have my youngest but will take my two boys to stop over and not my baby DS.

She does it all the time but today my toddler is really poorly. MY DH is on the 2 to 10 and she came over took my oldest DS I asked her to have the baby as it would really help me as my little one is realy clingy at the minute and she said no.

Im realy FF am I right to be. She never watches my daughter. she is really good she sleeps all night yes she likes attention but she is 5 months old.

Sorry wanted a rant my son has been poorly for 3 days now with a red hot temp one minute and fine the next.

Reading all your posts I think she is behaving very badly IMO.

Sorry YABU a 5 month old child is a big responsibility, and it your responsibility not your MILs

5m old overnight is to much to ask IMO.

heathermum I am , I would say to her 'yes dd is very well thanks for asking' Her behaviour is dreadful, your dh should say something to his mum, or you should really. Dont let her put your dd down, stick up for her.

If it were my MIL unless she treated all of my children the same and didn't insult my baby, she'd be having none of my children overnight and very limited contact. Your DH should tell her that if she's horrid about DD she misses out on all of her GCs.

I think it's far too early to be threatening "not one without the other" - looking after babies isn't everyone's cup of tea and I think it's nice for older children to get a bit of focused time away from babies personally as inevitably there are things that you just can't do with older children if you have to look after a baby too. My in-laws wouldn't have any of mine before the age of about 2, that's what they felt they could cope with so it was up to them. Help from family is a bonus in my view, not an entitlement but there are lots of people on here would would disagree.

my mil doesnt have my youngest dd who is just turned one but has my 2.5 years old dd every friday. she has always had her grandchildren over on a friday and currently has my dd1 and her cousin who is 9. she syas that she finds 3 children too much. i am fine with this but it annoys me that she has had both my dd's on occasion on saturday night and always lets my neice stay too. i do feel that 3 is too much when my dd2 is number 3 but not when my neice is number 3. i understood completly when dd2 was younger but i hope her attitude changes as she gets older

Look at it as a positive - your DSs get to have some time when they are most important, and your DD gets to have time with just you, and you time with her without worring..!

I have 3 DDs and I was always very very reticent to let DD1 got to Grannie's for the night....last week she went for 4 nights and we, and she , had a fabulous time...

It was great for DD1 - she got 100% adult attention for a change, no responsibilities, and activities that she wanted to do without worrying about little ones....I got a huge amount of peace and quiet, and cuddles and special times from my younger 2...it was completely win win...

YABU to expect her to look after your DD overnight, but YANBU to be hurt by her aparant rejection of your DD and seeming not to like your DD. Every mum would be hurt by that sort of behaviour from their MIL.

YABU, if your DD was 3 or something and had noticed then that would be different.

Babies are much harder work than kids.

YABU. What Sunny said. Help from family is a bonus not an entitlement. She is offering what she feels able to do. You are asking her to do more than she feels capable of doing and then getting annoyed because she doesn't. Its taking advantage a bit. I get nothing from the GCs as they live so far away- you don't know how lucky you are!

I agree with GiddyPickle- its not the norm to send all siblings on one sleepover. Your DCs will have separate friendships and interests because of their age, and probably won't want their siblings involved!

As for your MILs differing treatment of your DD, I am sure as your DD grows and communicates all this will change and she will charm her GPs. Some GPs are better with their GCs as they get older.

Sorry that should read "I get nothing from the GPs as they live so far away".

Even to take one of your kids for an hour is a big help heather, a 5 month old baby as well as two grandsons is a LOT. She will bond with your DD in time, but I think she just hasn't known her as long as she's known her grandsons yet. She'll get there.

Apart from her awful comments remember she is older now and 3-5 years on makes a difference in stamina levels when you are older. She may have had enough of looking after the kids and wants to draw a line - what happens if you have a 4th or 5th, she could be lumbered with 5 kids. And when the other's were babies she more than likely had them on their own which was much easier.

Ne grateful for the support. Most parents would be wondering why you need 2 kids babysat so you can look after your poorly kid. Most parents have to deal with a poorly sibling whilst having the other's to deal with. Maybe se thinks you are taking the piss!

I would not expect her to have all 3 and I think your dd is oo young for them to want to deal with.
BUT i would say to her 'when do you think you will want to spend time with dd?' and if I got any 'we don't do girls' crap then I would say 'sorry you will not be doing boys anymore either then!'