To ask you ladies about a wedding present for my to-be wife?

[Vermdum]

I am due to be married to a lovely lady (and mumsnetter) May next year.

We are a fairly young couple, parents, and I am at university.

Given the expenses of getting married, that puts something of a strain on my finances.
What would you lovely ladies expect of someone with a massive desire to please, A feeling that I can never quite do my lady justice with very little in the way of cash?

I have a setimental surprise well prepared, but as they say, talk is cheap.

i didn't get a wedding present from my husband, should i have done?

these things can get out of hand too easily, just make her a beautiful card with photos of you both, tell her in it how much you love her and how happy she makes you and how lucky you are to have her as your wife.

I didn't get anything from my husband either, oh wait, yes I did, his heart for better or worse and so on. I love him. 10th anniversary soon! All your wife wants is a loving husband. Don't worry. Aitch's idea is very nice though, I would have been very happy with that! But not if it was just a gesture and then he had been a rubbish husband though. You don't sound like that though, your post comes across as genuine and kind, congratulations on your marriage!

I started thinking about it because ive heard the 'wedding present' conversation twice this week: One lady was very loud as she described her new mini that her husband had bought her.

I know im expected to do something remarkable, but im hopeing that buying a car isnt a requirement!

you're not expected to do anything remarkable at all... where are you getting this stuff from?

Whenever the word wedding is said, its generally followed by examples of extravagance. I have a particular day were every action is going to be rememberd, and I only have one shot to do things right.

Some people are weird. Cars I ask you! Surely the whole spirit of a marriage makes a spending competition ridiculous? Or am I old-fashioned? I don't have an engagement ring either, didn't see the point when we as an existing co-habiting couple could use the money for so many other things. I think I would like a diamond ring of some sort sometimes but then I think (a) fair trade diamonds ? and (b) I would scratch DH's face, no?

Nooo you don't only have one shot to do things right, you have your whole life together ahead of you, it will have ups and downs but it will be right for you as a couple.

Where's a soppy emoticon when you need one?

We should keep bumping this until the lady in question finds the thread and can say what she would like .

Or you could just ask her Vermdum.

jewellery is always a good one, it doesn't have to be expensive, just something that she can treasure, maybe a bangle with a message engraved inside, or a piece of jewellery with her birthstone.

friends of mine met in nepal so he bought her topaz and silver jewellery as a gift as topaz is the national stone of nepal, did you meet, get engaged, go somewhere exotic together?

If you don't want to buy jewellery maybe a box for wedding keepsakes or something for your new home together, another friend loves antiques and husband to be bought her a set of antique candlesticks.

It really is the thought that counts, she will be pleased that you thought of a present at all - not all men remember! Anything that has a meaning to the two of you is a great idea do you share a hobby or a passion?
A first or hardback edition of her favourite book, a print or painting of somewhere special to the two of you are also nice things to keep. Otherwise could your parents help out, is there a family item that she would like?
hope this helps

Surely the only expectation (well hope really) is that you both (and your guests) have a really special wedding day? After all once you are married then to a large extent you share your possessions, and if you are a family already then isn't this the case? That's not to say that a memento of some sort wouldn't be nice, just really not required. And a mini is I think just really rather odd.

I don't know anyone who has given their new wife or husband for that matter a present on getting married - after all everyone else is giving you presents, so it's not as if you are generally short of gifts. I suppose in the past the honeymoon was a gift from the husband in some ways, but now I'd expect that to be something jointly arranged and purchased.

I suspect that your sentimental surprise will be much appreciated and quite sufficient.

why not compile a you & her album-photos,mementoes.personalstuff and not costly

get something that means someting to her, all i want is a keepsake* for my box.

so keep something from the wedding, if it be a napkin or cake decoration

hope you have a great weddding

Jewellery, definitely. It's not traditional to get something, but a gorgeous silver necklace with a small stone will be lovely.

Simple though, don't go to LA madness, just a nice (but obviously silver/gold/platinum) but beautiful single item.

Are you musical in any way, shape or form? I've just got back from a reception and the groom had written 3 songs for his bride, and a few of his mates who play instruments formed a band, and they performed for her. You could also learn one of her favourite songes. His dad did a coouple too, it was really lovely.

But this will only work, if you are in fact, a muscial genius

Otherwise, a lovely piece of jewellery would be the ticket.

These are nice:
here
Tell her you can add the names of your children as they arrive!

no, don't get her anything. what about aletter telling her how much you love her and what you want from your future together?

It hadn't crossed my mind to get DH a present for our wedding day (he was getting me after all ) and I didn't expect one from him.

However FIL turned up at my Mum and Dad's house on the morning of the wedding with a little box in which DH had put a very simple silver bangle and a little note.

It made me cry lots and lots (in a good way) and I wore the bangle that day and most days since.

It was a lovely, unexpected gesture. Not expensive, and the little note meant the most to me - calmed my pre-wedding nerves...

You sound like a very considerate person so I'm sure you'll think of something meaningful that doesn't cost the earth.

when we got married, we were fairly skint as well, so my present to DH was a cassette tape I put together of all the songs that told him just how much I loved him, far better than I could. he still has the tape ( though it is very crackly now, 25 years later) and has just managed to get all the same songs put onto his iPod.

Could you do something similar? If your DW2b already has an iPod, you could set up a special playlist for her, if she doesn't, you can get a shuffle for around £50 and pre-load it for her and then arrange for her to receive it on the morning of your wedding?

Have a wonderful wedding and a very long and happy marriage.

DH got me a pair of diamond earrings. I wasn't expecting them at all.

I have to agree with LittleSilver, write her a letter. It will be something she will always treasure. Hide it somewhere that she is sure to find it on the morning of the wedding.

Didn't occur to us to get presents for each other for our wedding - as Bicnod said, we were getting each other!

That's gorgeous titty. I've bookmarked that one and have shown it to DH

I don't think jewelry: I think the gold ring will be enough in that department and I can't see the extra jewelry will be as special as that.

My FIL went and got SIL flower bouquet after she threw it and had it dried and put in a beautiful picture, It looked lovely, and SIL was very shocked as she had no idea.

When my db got married he had a star named after my sil and gave her a framed picture with the certificate during the speeches. Not a lot you can do with a star but she was very touched.