To ask you ladies about a wedding present for my to-be wife?

[Vermdum]

I am due to be married to a lovely lady (and mumsnetter) May next year.

We are a fairly young couple, parents, and I am at university.

Given the expenses of getting married, that puts something of a strain on my finances.
What would you lovely ladies expect of someone with a massive desire to please, A feeling that I can never quite do my lady justice with very little in the way of cash?

I have a setimental surprise well prepared, but as they say, talk is cheap.

Just trun up, that'll be enough!! And get a journal of X family life, maybe you could fill the first page with how you feel getting married....everytime you or your wife think of something or the dcs say something funny write it in the book.

You sound lovely

Take no notice of others with extravagent gifts. Some people see weddings as a competition and thats not what it should be about.

I agree that something sentimental/personal will have far more impact than something extravagent. Love the idea of a compilation of songs that mean something to both of you.

How about a ring and write your own vows and mean it. She just wants you.

A marriage is for a life time and the Wedding day is only the start.

Flowers and a card telling her you lover her on the morning will let her know you care but if you make the rest of her life happy and give her a loving home in which to rase your kids is so much better.

I think too much focus is put on the wedding day that the meaning of marrage is lost.

Good luck and congrats

Talk to her parents if possible and see if there is something sentimental from her childhood that you could frame and give to her (my dh arranged for my 1st Teddy to be at the wedding!)

Or alternatively why don't you try and find something she could wear on the wedding day - perhaps a sparkly hair pin, earrings - again talk to her parents if possible as she may have something "family" she would like to wear.

A little note on the morning of the wedding would be good, then perhaps flowers on the day you return to your home - not sure what the plans after the wedding are.

There are some lovely things that you can do that aren't expensive. Another thing could be a beautiful photo album that you can stick mementos from your honeymoon/wedding, like a menu from the wedding/honeymoon/tickets etc etc and give it her on your 1 month anniversary?

The morning of my wedding a bouquet of my favorite flowers arrived at my parents house with a small gift box inside which was a beautiful pair of pearl earrings for me to wear . Also after the reception was over i opened up the door of our honeymoon suite to find rose petals on the bed in the shape of a love heart .
Congratulations to you both & enjoy your big day

Another one who didn't get a present for marrying my husband (I think that's quite a weird idea) - but he did make the most wonderful and heartfelt speech and gave me the print-out afterwards. I'll always treasure that memory. Start working on your speech now.

I think getting a present is odd.

I never got a wedding present from my DH either - he got me an engagement ring after all - and I didn't expect one.

In fact, I got him a wedding present, a watch, jointly with my parents, and my MIL gave me a pair of earrings that had been given to her by her MIL on her wedding day.

I really don't think that it's traditional for the groom to give a wedding gift to the bride, but if you do go ahead, I agree with others - go for something thoughtful rather than extravagant.

when i got married, we moved house the same week (i wouldnt recommend it!) my dh gave me a wooden picture frame with our engagement pictures in it (the ones we had used in our wedding invites) it wasnt very expensive and is by far the best present i've ever recieved because dh looked around our new house decided that we needed something to go on that wall, thought about it, picked out a picture frame which matched the furniture then picked photos of us that he knew i would love and its something that we will have for ever.

with out a doubt if you are going to get her something, make it something from the heart, dont just throw money at it.

My wedding presetn from DH was a hat and a watch he bought me on our honeymoon. Not official presents but something he bought me at that time and so I will always rememebr it.

I think I bought him a lighter

It won't be the money, it will be the amount of time you spend on it that she'll appreciate. A friend of mine did a "all the things that remind me of you" box, cost very little but took ages to pull together; an autumn leaf from the walk in the woods when they sort of proposed to each other, a sample of her perfume, I forget the other things but he got about a million brownie points because of the effort.

My husband bought me an absolutely beautiful pearl necklace from Hamilton and Inches as a wedding present. It was horrifyingly expensive at the time, but I have worn it to each and every special occasion I have attended ever since, including weddings, family celebrations, days when I felt I needed it to bring me luck etc! I wore it on the wedding day as well, obviously. I love it. You can get a nice string of pearls for a lot less than they charge at Hamilton and Inches if your budget won't stretch to that! Its a really classic gift I think - guaranteed to get years of wear out of it.

Surely the wedding ring is meant to be the present from the groom to the bride? Maybe you could put some extra thought into the ring (if you haven't bought it already) - design it yourself and get a local goldsmith to make it, have a message engraved inside, that type of thing.

If you feel you want to get her something else, don't give it on the wedding day as it will be lost among all the activity and other gifts. Why not give her something small and meaningful (first edition of her favourite book, a piece of your family's heirloom jewellery, tickets to her favourite band etc.) during your honeymoon, when you're on a romantic meal.

Thank you for being nice to me ladies!

Im gonna look into your ideas. I know its sad, but im planning to take them to my mum and ask her opionion on them. Wow.... arnt I manly [hmmm]

Massive thanks!

my dh was sneaky and after i went to my mums before the few days before the wedding he took my wedding ring to be engraved on the inside. i had no clue until we were off on honeymoon and he was miffed i hadn't noticed

i love it that he went to the effort and it only cost a few pounds and ill have it forever.

My husband to be sent me simple flowers that were delivered to me on the morning of our wedding with just a simple note of 'I love you, so looking forward to later'

It was very simple and didn't cost too much but it did really mean something to me and I have gone all teary-eyed thinking about it now (sad I know!). It meant all the more to me because it wasn't really something I would've thought he would do.

I was given a platinum chain as my wedding / engagement rings are platinum. I was pretty impressed as DH is rubbish at presents but he did hand me the gift bag the night before and say "sorry you'll have to choose your own pendant", so no surprise there!

But I agree with something sentimental and special, esp as you are a student. I thought for ages what to buy my DH, and in the end bought a "pocket penguin set" which had two little rubber penguins in it a and a little booklet telling you all about penguins, with a note telling him to put the smallest one in his morning suit pocket. Silly? Definitely, but with loads of sentimental value for us for lots of (generally very silly) reasons.

Nothing could be easier...

I'm shamelessly stealing this idea [grin}

Buy a small ut beautiful box.
Fill it with 50 slips of paper.
On each one write something you love about her...
...one for each of the next 50 years of your marriage, maybe?