to think this woman is a cheeky cow?

[Ladyanonymous]

DDs birthday party here at home in a few weeks - handed out invites on last day of term. Just had a text from one of her friends mums (not a friend or anything) asking if I can pick up and drop off her DD as "its such a pain not being able to drive"!!! Cheeky fucking bitch

Not offering petrol money or anything (we are both single mums and money is tight) and besides which I am going to have enough to do being the only adult with my three and the 12 invitees!!

AIBU to feel like telling her to piss off and get a bus/taxi as it isn't my fucking problem she can't drive!!!

(I won't - I will probably do it for the sake of DD)

That cannot have been a response to my post - else you are the fastest reader/poster ever!

Exactly Stealth. When did people become so helpless? You provide the event, it's down to them to get there. Who in their right mind thinks that a party host has time to provide a taxi service on the day?

It was a reply to an earlier post.

Most people can drive so you don't end up being a taxi service to everyone just the ones who cannot make their own way.

Why would you invite someone knowing they could not attend?

YANBU

If I was invited to dinner I would be mortified to then be considered so helpless that I would need to be picked up/dropped off.

I didn't know she couldn't attend when I invited her - I live on the main bloody bus route.

My friend is epileptic, whenever she is invited to anything she needs help with transport. In general people are helpful and supportive at least to her face or maybe they are just being polite and then calling her a lazy bitch behind her back??? OP all you had to do was say was "I'm sorry I can't help as I'll be busy perhaps Mum X can help", and have a little thought for someone who may have very valid reasons for being unable to get her DD to the party. That way you wouldn't need to "vent" or call her "a bitch" would you!

YANBU and I don't understand why people think you're being bitchy - the non-drivers I guess who think the rest of the world should make it their problem. There is no harm in asking for a lift if you need it, but to ask the party host to drop off/pick up is self absorbed beyond belief.

I dunno why but you calling her a "cheeky fucking bitch" really made me . Quite unexpected. Anyway, for what it's worth, I do think that was v.thoughtless of her... I'd just text back a curt. "no, won't be able to." and leave out the cheeky fucking bitch bit.... althought it is sooo tempting to include it...

OP - as you think her request was so unreasonable (and I agree it is a bit cheeky) why have you agreed to do it?

I think YABU ranting here about how unreasonable the request is before meekly agreeing to do it.

because our DDs our friends she expects me to do all the ferrying because she doesn't drive.

But she doesn't know where you live?

I don't drive - and I very rarely ask for lifts anywhere, for exactly this reason - I really don't think a simple request, that you are at liberty to turn down, warrants you calling her a fucking cheeky bitch She only asked. If she hadn't come to the party because she couldn't get there - would that have been better?

hahaha at all us poor helpless non drivers .........not really very sunny or delightful are you

YANBU to expect her to sort her own transport out, but probably unreasonable to want to use the language you do.

And ususal, I am afraid in teh modern age we live in being a non driver is akin to being helpless.

Ok ...I'll go and beg for a lift ,to get me to work,the shops etc which surprisingly I manage to do all on my own

YABU. Why would'nt you want to help somene else in this situation?

Er maybe because she'll be in the middle of organising a party? Maybe because she'll have 12 children plus her own to see to? Maybe because she'll be laying out sausage rolls and making sandwiches? Maybe because her car doesn't have 'taxi' written on the top?

Offering a lift to someone when you are both going to the same place is one thing but expecting someone to drop everything and come and get you is damned cheeky.

I'm really surprised at how judgemental of the OP you all are, whatever the issue is here. She's not being nasty, she's blowing off a little steam in an anonymous forum.

As someone who ferried around various friends for years, I recognise the OP's frustration. We've now been without a car for 6 years, and we're very careful not to take people's generosity of time and petrol cost (not to be sneezed at!) for granted.

The OP has every right to be frustrated, because she'll probably end up doing this favour through guilt ON TOP OF RUNNING A CHILDREN'S PARTY.

Some of you really seem to have lost your grip on reality - not4anotherday: "Why would'nt you want to help somene else in this situation?" Good God!

I wouldn't call someone a fucking bitch just because she asked for a lift ..I have no problem with the cheeky cow comment ..she was a bit cheeky to ask ..Just thought the op rantings on here were rather OTT

But the key point is that that the rantings were on here, not to the woman herself, so pulling her up on it is judgeyness too far.

I have no problem with the OPs reasons for not doing it! She'll be far too busy! But I don't think the woman was cheeky for asking either.

Really? So you would think there was a possibility that someone holding a party would drop everything and come out and get you? Because surely if you didn't think that then you wouldn't ask and to assume that there was a chance is cheeky.

Some of you have lost a grip of yourselves!

Of course this woman is being cheeky. What makes her child so special that OP can tear herself away from organising a children's party to drive and collect just one child???

Agree with Kiwicat.

OP, what distance will you have to travel to collect this child?

For what its worth ..If I had a party I would try and make sure everyone was ok to get to mine ..maybe I'm just too nice ..parties a long way from where you live are a pain ...thank goodness mine are old enough to get to parties themselves now ..but teenage parties bring a whole host of other problems

maybe she has never hosted a party before so doesnt actually know how much work it entails.

maybe she has never hosted a party before so doesnt actually know how much work it entails.

We used to have a friend, the past tense not entirely unrelated, who decided her family would live without a car in order to assist the environment. After, oh, about ten minutes of using bikes and public transport she decided that asking other people to be an unpaid taxi service was better, because that way you get all the convenience of a car without the expense. After all, if you phone up a taxi company the man turns up and you have to pay him at the end, while if you phone up a friend they don't ask for payment and you can often leave your kids with them while you do the shopping.

It started out with the occasional shopping trip "only if you're going, of course", even though she would buy the entire supermarket which meant that only people with estate cars could fit their own shopping in as well, then moved requests for standing arrangements for getting to Brownies. Which mean, of course, that if your DD is feeling under the weather you need to tell the people you're committed to giving a lift to, with no possible risk of getting any return on the deal.

People started making excuses, and then in the end someone (not me, I'm too much of a coward) lost their temper and told her to fuck off and stop sponging other people's time and money under the entirely bogus guise of green-ness. She continued to insist that using other people's cars unpaid was more moral than buying your own petrol, and over time found herself a social leper.

After a while people gave up, as every social meeting was an opportunity for her to talk about how great not having a car was and how mean people were not to drive her and her children around, and just left her to it.