Not entirely thrilled with DS' end of year gift...

[SolidGoldBrass]

Yes it's sweet of the school to give all the Reception kids a book as a present but did it have to be one about a farking dead grandad? Cue me blubbering while trying to read it to DS, DS bravely saying 'Acutally mummy this book is too sad, let's read Horrid HEnry instead'...
FFS.

YANBU!! Someone at the school thought it a good idea to broach the subject of bereavement! What a horrible, stark way of doing it. Complain. There is a lovely book that deals with this subject called "Badger's Parting Gifts" beautiful and moving, children get the idea....gradually.

OK Collie - just for you

eviltwin you can't think where I got the idea from that you feel like you are a hard done by teacher - perhaphs from your many posts whinging about parents/kids/teaching???

I didn't say there were 'hundreds of threads by teachers complaining about the shit presents kids give them', I said you should 'read the many posts by teachers complaining about the crap kids give them' & because you are unable to find the comments that were made does not make them fabled - it makes you incompetent. Here are a few for you - if you want more - try using the Advanced Search properly:

A nice Fridge Magnet says it all really not tacky at all!!

i DONT ike cheap make up ornaments of ANY kind teddies
anythinmg sayimng "worlds best teacher(have had teddy,mug,mouse mat,teddy farkin ornaments,photo frame,fridge magnet
(actually my fave goft was a magnet saying "worlds best tecahing assistant" had been the boys teacher for a year

WINE IS THE BEST PRESENT FOR TEACHERS!!! if only everybody knew that when they set out to look for those glittery soaps and overburnished brass candlesticks and Quality street [ ungrateful cow emoticon ]

I tend to give away all of the chocolate and bath salts etc

Many teachers on here say that stuff gets chucked/jumbled etc and I was sad to read of the lo whose teacher just chuckedunopeneed envelopes in bin in front of them

I was glad not to get any 'best teacher'
mugs etc

In my school a couple of the teachers started hinting to their class what presents they wanted from the beg of July

I used to give wine but now I work at school and listen to all the young teachers being rude and ungrateful about the presents they receive, I decided not to bother

My DD's teacher asked for some really useful stuff to use in the classroom

teacher, at Christmas in year 5, said 'why haven't you got me a present, X?'

as an ex-teacher, I agree that lots of "best teacher" mugs or random cheap smellies are not very popular

I wish my dh taught some of your kids. He just gets books and crap

and there are plenty more where those came from - including several about throwing away any home made food that the children bring in because it's not hygenic!

[to the people that made those comments: I have no problem with your comments and I think it's just fine to whine on MN along with the rest of us Just pointing out to ET that even the teachers aren't always grateful for anything they're given as ET thinks the parents/children should be!]

bloody stupid book to give a reception child. there must be 4000000000000 other books to give. more or less.

sorry about not using caps - cannot be bothered right now.

ChippingIn - and do you know what I'd say to those teachers? I'd say don't be so bloody ungrateful. Somebody has put time, thought, money and effort into choosing and wrapping a present for you, and to bringing it into your place of work. Accept it graciously and don't moan. No one deserves a gift for doing their job, and therefore you do not have any right to moan about it.

That OK for you?

BTW, I'm secondary, so I don't get presents, no do I tend to give them. On the two occasions where I've moved schools though, I've had some really sweet and thoughtful gifts from students, and have made sure that I've thanked everyone properly.

nor do I - oops.

ET - pardon - was that sorry I heard you muttering after calling me a liar?

No - thought not.

Don't recall calling you a liar.

Just said I couldn't find the threads you were referring to.

And you had problems with my ability to read and comprehend.

By EvilTwins Mon 26-Jul-10 12:21:47
...And I did use the advanced search to find these hundreds of fabled threads

Yep. I said that. I did not say

"And I did use the advanced search to find these hundreds of fabled threads, you big fat liar"

Did I?

And anyway, I think it's obvious here that my issue is with anyone being ungracious about accepting a gift.

As a teacher, I'd be fine with you (OP) coming into school to let me know that the book had death of a grandparent in and not to use it next year - the teacher might have a few left over and be saving them for next year's class so it's worth letting her know as I guess she hadn't read them.

I have had parents coming in to let me know about books in the book corner with swearing in or other inappropriate content, and if they haven't worded it as a complaint (I have not read all the books in my class library and can't be expected to know what's on every page) then I have been grateful to know and have then taken some off the shelves.

You used the word fabled, as you seem to be confused about it's meaning - let me help you out.

Fabled

Existing only in fables; fictitious.

Having no real existence; fictitious.

A untruth; falsehood.

To speak falsely; lie: to fable about one's past.
A falsehood; a lie.

Existing only in fables; fictitious.

'and anyway' .... something a 6 year old would say to avoid admitting they were in the wrong and apologising.

I'm feeling a bit sorry for the teacher who, at the end of term busy, busy time), ordered some cheapish books from the book co. to give to her (or his... but that's a long shot in rec) class and is now getting panned for it.

Death is an inconceivable concept at 5 unless you have experienced it. I'll hazard a guess that there are folk tales about death in most other cultures that are told to reception age children to help them understand.

At the end of the day, it was a kind thought and a book that was deemed suitable by the publisher... not porn.

bored now.

One of the great things about MN is that lots of different people have lots of different opinions, and that's generally seen as a good thing.

"'and anyway' .... something a 6 year old would say to avoid admitting they were in the wrong and apologising."

Eviltwins - pathetic. Thank god you don't teach my children - it's a shame you are allowed to teach any children if this is your level of comprehension and manners.

OK, that's enough. You come on here and accuse me of pathetic behaviour, and yet think that that kind of outburst is appropriate?

You criticise my manners, and yet feel
"it's a shame you are allowed to teach any children" is, what? Well mannered?

I think you need to apologise now, don't you?

'Ok, that's enough'

I'm sorry, but you don't get to pull the 'I'm the teacher so you will do as you're told card' with me, I'm not one of your students.

You called me a liar.

You are not 'listening' or debating- simply ranting. (there are other teachers agreeing that the book is inappropriate to be given out in this way).

You started posting biscuits and claiming to be bored.

You started acting like a 6 year old.

and you want me to apologise?

Yes I do. You said that I was very likely to be shit at my job and shouldn't be allowed near children. That is way below the belt.

You are also behaving as if I am the only person on this thread with the view that the OP should simply accept the gift with good grace and then not read it with her child until a later date.

You and others like you are the very reason that teachers have that so-called chip on our shoulders. You seem to think you have the right to question how good I am at my job simply because I had the audacity to disagree with you. That is how a 6 year old would behave.

And I will point out yet again that my main point on this thread, has always been to do with accepting a gift graciously.

I think you ought to apologise for the following comment:
"Thank god you don't teach my children - it's a shame you are allowed to teach any children" which is simply rude.

If I do anything about it it would probably be along the lines of a quiet word to the school to the effect it's lovely of them to give the dc gifts but that a book about a dying grandad might cause some upset in some families.
It's not a bad book at all, it's just the sort of thing that you wouldn't necessarily give a 5 year old as a gift unless you wanted to help said 5 year old deal with a recent bereavement.
Would those who think I am a whinyarse about this be happy with their small DC getting this book (or Mog Pops Her Clogs or whatever) as a birthday gift?

We did get Mog Tootles off to the great Cat Basket in the Sky as a gift, actually. My mum got it for my DTDs (they were 3 and a bit at the time)

It's not soooo bad.

I'm off out of this thread now. Chippingin has pissed me off a bit too much.

Hope you get it sorted to your satisfaction, SGB.

Yes, we got the Mog one as a gift too - I think dd2 was 4 or 5.

I am a teacher. I still think it would be wrong to say anything to the teacher who gave the book as a gift.

See, much as I live the last Mog book, I would think it a little bit odd as a gift, unless from close family. I would put these 'bereavement' stories in the same category as a story about a child who wets the bed or a child whose parents are splitting up etc... A story with a pertinent and sensitive message for a particular child in a particular situation.

Olifin: Thanks, that's exactly what I was getting at.

SGB, you're probably bored of this now, but consider this:

Let's say you bought DS's reception teacher an end-of-term gift (which you may have done) Say, a bottle of wine - you thought it was a pretty decent present, and handed it over on the last day of term.

Fast forward to next term. You're waiting to pick up DS from school. His reception teacher comes up to you and says
"I wanted to say thanks for the present you gave me at the end of term. Just wanted to let you know though, that it really wasn't appropriate. I don't actually drink alcohol. And furthermore, my Dad was a violent alchoholic. Perhaps you should consider that in future when randomly giving out gifts"

How would you feel? Extreme example I know, but worth thinking about before you take any action.

I'm with ya SGB It seems pretty logical to me, to be honest.

But EvilTwins I think the tone you have used in your hypothetical complaint from the teacher is different from the tone that perhaps SGB would be considering using.

If it were a true comparison, the teacher might say: 'Thank you so much for the gift, that was really kind of you. Sadly, I can't make use of it as I don't drink so I hope you don't mind that I've passed it on to someone else'.

That would be totally fine, surely, and would also let the parent know not to buy wine again for said teacher.

I don't think anyone at any point on this thread was advocating telling the teacher that the book was 'inappropriate' or to say something as rude as: 'Perhaps you should consider that in future when randomly giving out gifts'

Hmm. I certainly wouldn't be rude to the teacher if I do say anything to her ( DS' class teacher lovely, in fact she was tearful on the last day of term at losing her adored Reception class) - which is why I said I might write to the publishing house and (using Olifin's reasoning) suggest they reconsider putting this specific title in their multipack offers.