Those bloody supermarkets are at it again part 3

[Jasonthunderpants]

Dw got 2 boxes of gooseberrys this week in our weekly shop.
me "why dearest?"
dw"because they where on offer"
me "oh"
By Gods Holy trousers why? we never have had them before
Ok I thought,right lets cook them and put them in the freezer to make a crumble at a later date. I look on the back at how to cook
stew 454g of gooseberrys in 68ml of water with 54g suger
I look at the weight of a pack 400bloodygrams
Why the hell are they putting the instructions of how to cook 454g on a 400g pack?plus they needed topping and tailing and that took 20 mins(some of the buggers where the size of garden peas)
I couldnt weigh the off cuts because the batteries have gone in the scales,so the grammage was down further
(if your interested in the waste take a look at my photos,I took a picture of it)
At this point it was not the gooseberrys that where stewing
Do they do this on purpose to piss me off?
Is the person in charge of gooseberry packing the same person who was in charge of bagging up frozen mixed peppers? As he/she been moved down,up or sideways?
Is being in charge of gooseberry packing a better or worse job than bagging up frozen peppers?
Is this person out to make my life hell?

When I went to Tesco, it was 99p a bottle of blackcurrant squash, or 2 for £2. I geared myself up to complain at the checkout, but it went through at 99p each, after all.

I took a bottle of alchohol free wine back to Waitrose a upmarket store this week for tasting (and I quote)....

"like a cat has pissed grapes".

"Whats wrong with it?" I was asked

"it's awful, and its got bits in it like sugar" I said

"Mrs Honeydragon you can't return wine because you don't like it"

" I am returning it under the trades descriptipn act then - it's not wine its piss"

Sales assistant giggles "You drank it and there is nothing wrong with it you can't return it"

"I am returning it, I don't care whether you refund me but please send this back to whomsoever thought it acceptable to sell to innocent members of the public, and make them drink it again and ask then what they were thinking"

Sales assitant: "Is it really that bad?"

"I dare you to drink some right now ...without crying".

Sales assistant looks closer at offending vintage - "it looks ok".

"Its a screw cap it's not like you can tell if its bastard corked from looking, and it's not corked its bloody awful".

Sales assistant giggles

"ok mrs honeydragon, I think we'll accept it back and send it away, as there may be something wrong with it, do you want refund and replacement, or just the refund?"

"refund please, and your not funny".

I came out that shop, pround, proud that I had channelled my inner Jason and let him out to roam free from the constrictions of the internet. I reclaimed my £5.99 (and another £5.99 too, as waitroses double refund).

Sir Jason of Mumsnet
Protecter of the frozen foodstuffs
Saviour from underhand supermarket practises
I salute you sir.

Honeydragon

I am frightening my husband and family members I have stopped drinking volutarily, since dd was born. There is quite a book going now onto how long I will go and how depraved my downfall will be when it happens

hang on my message posted itself

well done

we should have the balls to take things back and complain

Yeah, Lets make the profiteering bastards eat all the green peppers!!

Like the gooseberry trimmings photo. Was there ever a peppers photo? If so, I missed it

I don't think you need to cook fruit before making a crumble, anyway. Just bung it in the dish with the sugar, then put the crumble over the top and then when you bake it, the fruit cooks very nicely. Tis what we do on the advice of Jamie O and it works.

Years ago in the local coop i got some irish coppers and an old tuppence in my change,it only came to about 7p
so the next day I went in to buy some milk and gave her the correct change dodgey coins inc,the cashier counting them out said
" these coins are not legal"
me" I got them in my change yesterday"
she " I still cant accept then"
me "I have no more money "
she says to her suppervisor " he says he got these in his change yesterday"
supervisor was a bit slack,I could see I was winning I think they knew they where in the till so I said put them in the till and give them back to somebody else and walked out

Take no shit people

Jason your threads are so funny!

Oh fgs. You are such a twat.

And you lot need to stop enabling him because he's such a 'funny' man.

Jason - since 1ml of water weighs 1g, all you have to do to obtain the correct amount of water is to weigh it.

Pleased to be of service!

Dh tells me there is another way to get 68ml of water - thus:

Fill a pint bottle with water, then decant water into a 500ml carton/pot (dh suggests one that has previously held custard), and you will be left with 68ml of water in the pint bottle.

He's got far too much time on his hands, I tell you.

Staying - have you got my dh? That is exactly what my dh would come up with.

I bought alcohol-free champagne once. Had to put vodka in it to make in drinkable. LOTS of vodka.

I hate gooseberries.

wow
there are some clever men out there

BB goseberry jam is really nice on date scones

try it you will be amazed

SDTG
If my tiny little mind could of thought of that it would of been no good because the batteries had gone in the scales but I like your cunning mind
I can picture you being a villan with a geniouse criminal mind in one of these superhero adventure film

Ah, I'm so glad I clicked on this thread to cheer me up

Thankyou Jason. I have a good wicked-villain laugh too!

Mwahh ha ha ha ha!!

Jason, I can't decide whether you must be bloody brilliant or totally impossible to live with!