..to suck out all the marrow of life

[talleyrand]

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

"I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary.

"I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion"

Yep, I am having an affair.

With a woman who posts on MN, oddly enough.

So I am being an arse to my DW, I can quite see that. But also - I am sucking out the marrow of life.

And don't imagine I am the only person on MN with a secret lover.

(The quote? it's Henry David Thoreau)

I can't see any similarity between the quote and what you are doing.

One could argue that staying in your original committed relationship and learning how to cope with it even though it is hard is learning about real life. Having an affair is running away/distracting yourself.

You aren't doing it for some kind of good philosophical reason, you are doing it because you want to, and the guilt (because you know deep down that it is wrong) is making you look for reasons to justify it.

I know it is hard to let yourself feel the guilt fully when you are in the midst of the situation, but it seems like you are feeling it a bit if you feel like justifying yourself.

If you do the right thing now it might save years of feeling shit about what you've done in the future if the full force of the guilt does kick in. (And that's just looking at it from the point of view of being sympathetic to your feelings. Of course the other people involved should be considered too.)

If you leave your wife, she will end up happier, while you will find your juicy marrow (blech, have you ever actually tried it?) loses its appeal. Then you will want your wife back! Yes it's true! Or very likely. It happens to man, after man, after man... after man.

Still laughing at the Thoreau comparison. Priceless.

Are you my husband?

FFS. Go ram yourself up the ass with black pudding, loser.

ps bring milk and dishwasher tablets.

hehe now that is down to earth with a bang!

how can you see to have an affair while your head is up your own arse?

This is the OP's first post, and i'd put money on it being his last.
Think we need to put the OP down to a rip in the space-time continuum and move on to someone real.

You are not sucking the marrow out of life. You are a deceitful shagger and a pompous twit to boot.

Get a grip on your ego.

And if you are a troll YAAAAAAAAWN. Seriously. YAWN.

slouchingtowardswaitrose I have tears rolling down my cheeks after reading your post. Love it!

Dude- seriously- having an affair with some MC SAHM is hardly putting you in the same league as Sebastian Horsley.

If you really want to live on the edge, arrange for yourself to get crucified, or become a land mine disposal expert or climb Everest with no oxygen or something.

I think some of these comments are a little harsh
We obviousley have a very sencetive soul who needs to let his feelings out and I think it is very beautifll and quite sad that he expresses himself in this way
In sympathy I may just sit in the woods this aft if I have a spare hour

isn't this just the perfect example of someone protesting too much?

feeling a little bit guilty are we, OP?

op, just a simple question, is this other woman, the one? or maybe you'll move onto the next one in a few months? you love your wife? and more importantly, why are you telling us? you don't seem to be looking for advise and surely, you are not gonna get any simpathy, in case you didn't notice, most people in this site are woman, mums, who either have a husband, in which case affairs are a no-no, or have being left by a man with a baby, in which case crucifying you is as good as, the rest i don't see why would have an strong opinion either way, but certainly, nobody is gonna tell you 'well done, boy'.
troll? quite possible, idiot? for sure.

I think JasonTP makes some very good points. I will do and stand on the grass in the middle of the roundabout and pour some lukewarm coffee on the ground in homage to the OP.

my staffordshire bull terriers like to suck on marrow too

...are you related?

[suspicious]

and I'm sure I've read that Thoreau was a bit of a fake. I'm off to google

i said suck to my 2 year old and he said suckwuckduckwuckmuck mamamamamamamama that's nice isn't it?

I think you just suck

"if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it"

You will, I fear

quick scan of wikipedia reveals nowt about Thoreau shagging a mum he'd met online

[disappointed]

...though his mum used to bring him baskets of pies and doughnuts apparently. And he took a stroll into town every day

hmm. sounds quite appealing dunnit

[goes off to pack luxury tent and live alone on Peckham Rye for a bit. Sorry kids- you can stay here with Daddy. Mummy's got some vairy Important Work to do.]

cackle

Sucking on marrow? Sounds a bit more courgette to me.

maybe he sees himself as removing the stringy dull inners of the marrow and replacing them temporarily with some nice wholesome lentils and tasty herbs

or perhaps an exciting mixture of minced lamb and pine nuts

[streeeeeeeeeeetches metaphor till it snaps]

Thoreau's mid-life crisis and urge to get his cock out in the woods at least led to a vaguely interesting book...

Let me guess - do you spend your spare time contemplating your navel? Is Albert Camus your favourite author? I bet he is. IME men who contemplate their navels a lot also lurve Camus.

Go live in the woods. See which of the poor suckers you've ensnared seems the most prepared to join you.