TO THINK MY FRIEND WAS BANG OUT OF ORDER?

[TheLadyEvenstar]

This took place a few minutes ago. and I have to admit to finally telling this so called friend what I thought of her opinion.

TLES[21:55]: DS2 not well had him settled so DS1 has laid on him tickling him woke him up and is now jumping round room
TLES[21:56]: ffs
FlamingRoyal [21:56]: ok, that's normal
TLES[21:56]: how is it fucking normal to wake a child who is ill up ffs
FlamingRoyal [21:56]: not thinking
FlamingRoyal [21:57]: wants to play etc
TLES [21:57]: oh he is thinking
FlamingRoyal [21:57]: i was reading a thing in the Mail today
TLES[21:58]:DS1 has deliberately woke DS2 up and has then jumped around making a load of noise even though DP is in bed asleep as he starts work at 3
TLES[21:58]: and DS2 is wheezing because he has a chest infection
FlamingRoyal [21:59]: about kids diagnosed with 'special needs' and they say that most of it is for the benefit of schools in league tables
FlamingRoyal [21:59]: had he got antibiotics?
TLES [21:59]: got appt tomoz
FlamingRoyal [22:00]: they will give him Augmentin
TLES [22:00]: erythomycin is what they normally give him
FlamingRoyal [22:01]: ok, augmentin is a broad-spectrum penicillin, it is normally prescribed to kids.
TLES [22:01]: oh ok
FlamingRoyal [22:01]: read the Mail online
FlamingRoyal [22:02]: mentions medicalizing what is or can be normal behaviour - this is specifically for under 5s though
TLES[22:03]: yeah under 5
FlamingRoyal [22:03]: e.g. getting up and running around the room diagnnosed as autism
FlamingRoyal [22:03]: or OCD
FlamingRoyal [22:04]: but it also specifically mentions ODD and behaviour disorder
TLES [22:04]: not 12 and still throwing tantrums having screaming fits playing with knives self harming
FlamingRoyal [22:04]: no,it didn't mention post-primary school
FlamingRoyal [22:05]: but i did find it an interesting read
TLES [22:05]: yes i am sure
TLES [22:06]: unfortunatly when u live with it it becomes more tiring than interesting
FlamingRoyal [22:06]: i am not belittling you or your experiences
FlamingRoyal [22:07]: the article mentioned that much was down to lack of discipline
FlamingRoyal [22:07]: i cannot say if it's right or wrong
TLES[22:08]: sorry but DS1 has been disciplined since he was old enough to be he is just naughty and unless you live with it day in day out there is noway you can have a genuine opinion that actually has much standing tbh
FlamingRoyal [22:09]: it's not me saying it. It was an article in the Mail
TLES [22:09]: i didn't mean you!!!!
TLES [22:10]: i meant in general
TLES [22:10]: these reporters are quick to say these things but in reality wouldnt know what to do if faced with a child like DS1
FlamingRoyal [22:12]: it did say one thing that i've said though, which was medicalizing a naughty child - sheer coincidence but i read it noticing that. I do realize it was referring to younger children
TLES [22:12]: Yeah there is naughty and naughty though
TLES [22:13]: Naughty to me is being cheeky having strops etc
FlamingRoyal [22:13]: yes i agree
TLES [22:13]: not playing with knives, stealing attacking parents and younger siblings
FlamingRoyal [22:14]: TLES but you're the adult. YOU have the power to stop that

TLES [22:26]: you wouldn't believe the things going on atm
TLES[22:26]: really u wouldn't
FlamingRoyal [22:27]: well tell me
TLES[22:32]: DS1 just doesnt seem to care Annie
TLES[22:32]: there is so much going on
FlamingRoyal [22:33]: you have to take control
TLES [22:33]: meetings with school
TLES[22:33]: cmahs
TLES [22:33]: camhs
TLES [22:33]: early intervention team
FlamingRoyal [22:33]: you do realize what this is all about,don't you?
TLES [22:34]: you tell me
FlamingRoyal [22:34]: it's about breaking up your family
TLES [22:34]: don't talk crap
FlamingRoyal [22:34]: i mean it
TLES [22:34]: why would they want to do that?
FlamingRoyal [22:34]: because that is what they do
FlamingRoyal [22:36]: you are only seeing one side of the story
TLES [22:36]: Annie for months I have read what you have written about this situation I have let it get to me in the past but to be totally honest you are talking shit, you know nothing of the situation at all, they are trying to get DS1 to behave, social services are not involved much just child counsellors and psychologists. SS don't just take kids away for no reason only if they are mistreated, abused, neglected etc and my sons are not. if you do not like the way I talk about DS1 behaviour or parent then you don't need
FlamingRoyal [22:36]: you think they see DS1 as a disruptive, difficult child, and yes they do
TLES [22:36]: to have fuck all to do with us anymore
FlamingRoyal [22:37]: At the same time, they see YOU as a parent who cannot cope .
TLES [22:38]: NO THEY SEE ME AS A PARENT WHO HAS HAD CONCERNS ABOUT HER SONS BEHAVIOUR SINCE HE WAS 4 1/2 YRS OLD AND HAS BEEN ASKING FOR FUCKING HELP SINCE THEN.

AIBU to think she was out of order when she asked how things were going with the network of help etc?

Like i really need the stress and worry that they are trying to split my family up

and then i wonder why i am stressed with friends like that ffs.

And surely it is fine to involve a network of people to assist me in helping ds1 and I rather than let things get worse?

Anyone seriously quoting a Daily Mail "autism doesn't exist- it's just the parents" article to you is automatically unreasonable.

good grief woman.stress?typing that rant must have raised your bp

take a break.stop all the she said i said gossip

your stream of consciousness rant and CAPITALS too,that would make anyone stressed

YAI ok put it this way.

If she had said to me
TLES just be careful how you handle things, don't give them cause to think you can't cope"

then i would have been ok iyswim?

but to say
"This is to split your family up"

really doesn't help.

Even if at times i screw up with choices i make i am a bloody good and caring parent.

lol SM thanks you had to make me laugh ddin't you!!

think i am just tired of it all tbh

trying to find all the answers myself for a long time has not helped. but i will get there with the network of people MN included, i have around me now.

What does YAI mean? If it is You Are Ignorant then I have lost any respect for you. I have years of personal experience as a mother with an autistic child. Getting annoyed over internet chat is ridiculous. We always write the shortest thing and it often doesn't get the proper point across.

You need to chill as you are not accepting anything anyone is saying to you.

I think it's an abbreviation of your name, YAI.....

YAI=abbreviation of your name.dont jump to conclusions

MAJOR BLUSH AND PROFUSE APOLOGY!

There I've made my point - we misinterpret what is written on the internet! So sorry!

hi,

ihve no idea of how much weight you have on your shoulders and i have little experience of children with SN but even as little as i do know, i understand that things are/can be difficult and what a family going through a very difficult time needs is support. i really think your "friend" obviously has no idea of what kind of friend you need...TBH it really sounds like she is less of a friend and more of a daily mail enthusiast frenemy she sounds judgemental and self righteous and needs a smack with the daily mail

engineered?

YAI sorry but you have really made me laugh now!!!

see this is why i like MN - that means Mumsnet nowt else btw lol.

She is not just an internet friend she is a good friend and ds2's godmother. But because she doesn't understand about DS1's bahvioural issues she rubbishes them and comes out with things like tonight.
And tbh I have had a hard day and just wanted a friendly ear more than anything.

Tw1nk whats engineered???

so are you still on speaking terms with her?

better oot than in,but dont get hung up on she said/i said

Slarty i have to admit i blocked her email and instant messages and removed her from fb

YABU purely because you posted your entire thread title in capitals.

people like that aren't friends, in what possible way was that supposed to help? Dont blame you for getting upset, i would be livid.

SM, i just saw red tbh and couldn't write anything as i couldn't get the words out hence just copying and pasting to here

What knowledge does she have of EITs to make this judgement? I work in a professional capacity with one and they most defintely NOT about splitting up families

After my behaviour it is only right that I side with you now! In my defence (ever so weak defence) I was saying these things for your benefit in case you thought she was being cruel on purpose. However you know her better so I would just stay clear for a while.

FWIW My son goes from being an angel to a bloddy nightmare and the latter in company! Grrr

Trill, yes that was unreasonable.
can you mend my cap lock button please and my shift button on the same side? as neither work properly....

Some people just don't get it. Don't lose your friendship with her but just realise she is one of these people and know she is wrong! You can still be friends in other respects, just don't expect her to back you up with your ds. (IMO you are doing exactly the right thing - keep going).

pippi none at all. she see's the words intervention as threatening it seems. I understood they were to prevent ds1 getting into crime etc.

YAI - do you have my son there??

YAI confusion, but just my synical opinion, seemed too pat, not trying to upset anyone tho.