to think people shouldn't be judgey about things they haven't experienced

[whoneedssleepanyway]

was having a conversation last night with some colleagues about long car journeys and little ones and portable DVD players came up, we have one and it has been a life saver on occasions on long journeys.

my colleauge who has yet to have children piped up "oh there will be none of that with us, it will be I spy all the way".

I resisted saying "good luck with playing I spy for 3 hours with a fractious 3 year old" and kept quiet but it irritated the hell out of me.

it isn't the first time said childless colleague has had an opinion on my child rearing techniques. Grrrr.

sounds like a twat - I spy even less successful with a one year old.

I always thought that my child would never eat in the car. I wouldn't have said it out loud to parents, but I did think it.

All I can say now

It's all good fun - try to remember all the wise comments from childless friends, then remind them of their utter crappery when they have dc's of their own

Just smile patronisingly and say 'oh yes, I think we all say things like that before we have children'

DS1 (9yrs) gets horrific travel sickness so no TV, books or DS lites in the car at all. I am a bit jealous of you all.

Yup, our childless neighbours criticise me for having a minder in the pms to take the toddler out (you can hear it in the veiled comments: 'But aren't you staying at home with them?').

Um, yes, I do have some help - I also have a newborn to go with said toddler, a DH who works 11 hours a day and no family nearby...

Personally, I'd give them an hour with my two before they cracked and turned the tele on....

i know the same colleague bangs on about how his wife is going to be a SAHM and how that is best, i did actually bark out "it would be nice to have the luxury of that choice" at one point.

Get out your big notebook, record the comment and date it.
Then wait.

Yes, it is v annoying, but we have all said, or at least thought things like that before we had kids, that comment made me cringe though. DS (3) talks so much at the moment that even a car journey to the shops is a trial at the moment!

Ohh a friend of mine was driving me round the twist the other day, constantly critising the fact DS has a dummy. I said to her, "I'll remind you of this conversation if you ever have a constantly sucky, colicky, refluxy, teething baby like mine, okay?". Every time I gave it to him, she called it a "Baby cork" If she had been anyone else I would have got really pissy with her. Grr.

I feel better now, thanks

DS would chuck everywhere if we tried that, it is bad enough as it is.

I am jealous at you having the option.

whoneedssleep I AM a SAHM - and if anyone tried to bang on to me about 'how wonderful that is' and how 'it's the best option' I would deck them!

How thoughtless of your colleague.... Not a friend, then, I take it?!

God I hate it when people do that. I also hate the whole 'you haven't had your own so you know nothing' thing. It's all so judgey! My sil used to say it even tho she knew I had loads of experience with my dsd.

My sisters pregnant friend had all the answers to my sisters non sleeping newborn. Luckily the pregnant friend had read all the books and had lots of helpful suggestions to share and could point out exactly where my sister was going wrong. Luckily my sister managed not to deck her during the afternoon visit and graciously accepted the grovelling apology when said friend had her own newborn who sadly had not read the same books as her mother.

Oooooo I love childless couple bingo!

Some good friends of ours (then pregnant with their 1st) grandly explained their plans to extend their house (by themselves) make the outhouse into a shower room, reflag the garden, decorate, and go out for long walks in the country once the baby arrives as they'll have loads of time seeing as they'll be off work.

DH & I p*ssed ourselves laughing all the way home.

4 years on... we still laugh as nothing was ever done.

My advice: enjoy their ignornance.

Love all the stories, i'm sure i was just as bad pre-DC

Mine were never going to eat in the supermarket
Or in the car

I was never going to shout at them

They would never have the tv on for as long as they do

etc. etc.

Now I try to think to myself that i only judge if it is a situation i have been in myself (ie shouting at babies, or calling toddlers horrid names, etc.) and know that i wouldn't to as i have actually been there.

smile & take notes to take the P in the future!

all these stories are really funny. I remember another classic from a friend of mine ciirculating her a new email address for use while she was off on maternity leave and saying "can't wait my year long holiday begins on monday" i did have a litte chortle to myself and six months in she remembers the comment with embarrassment.

I don't think you should have resisted op, think it would have been perfectly acceptable to say that!

haha my childless boss once said to be "oh your potty training your DD, not using the toilet? Eugh! I'd never let my child use a potty ever how gross!" I'd prefer DD pooing in the potty than on the floor because she didnt make it to the loo on time!

My dad (father of 4) may as well be childless. "Why do you let my DGC make so much noise?" Can't they keep their clothes clean for 5 minutes?" Erm no dad they're 1, 2 and 3. That's sort of what they do. You'd know that if you had kids. Oh, wait....

Also I once said I'd never give DD a dummy because I hated them.

She'll be 3 in september and still wont give it up

My sister loves to remind me of this!

YANBU. just laugh at them. I like MrsMalcolmTucker's response too. love the idea of 'childless couple bingo'

Having said that if people didn't get judgy, MN would be rather a dull place!

Well they say we're all experts at parenting until we have our own children!

But, YANBU. I hate people judging decisions they know nothing about. If you disagree with it, but have never experienced it or know little about it, then ask, FFS, don't just be a big fat judgey pants!

I haven't read them, simply because I can probably just guess about all the crap that's been written - hardly new stuff, although I expect the people writing it think they're being terribly original and intelligent!