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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be almightily pissed off my dh cut down all my hanging baskets...

44 replies

Maryqueenofchocs · 21/07/2010 08:31

OK, first year of having gorgeous big hanging baskets, dh always been against it as he said i'd not look after them and it'd be a waste of money.

So, this year, he relents and I have been lovingly watering and feeding these two baskets for months now. (I am not your typical green fingered gardener I might add).

A few nights ago he suggested we cut off some of the longer trailing ivy as they were getting long, I disagreed as this added to their beauty and grandness, they are now huge, willowy, dangly, colourful baskets.

This morning I go outside to find both have been lopped off at the bottom and only about a foot of ivy is handing down.

I am furious. And Upset. And more furious...He's gone off on school run and I cannot decide whether its worth the row. He knows I was pissed off and he just said they 'needed doing'.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

OP posts:
MaryBS · 21/07/2010 08:33

YANBU! Is he always this controlling?

wonderstuff · 21/07/2010 08:34

YANBU. Your dh sounds like a bit of a control freak tbh - why does he get to decide if you are capable of looking after hanging baskets? Not sure what you should do though?

Lauriefairycake · 21/07/2010 08:34

I would be pissed off too as you'd been bloody nurturing them for months - the ivy is supposed to grow down.

I think it's an aggressive/controlling act - what's this about 'letting' you have them, not 'letting' you have them as you 'won't look after them'

He's not your fucking dad. Tell him to leave your shit alone.

And the very fact you don't think its an argument worth having suggests you tip toe around him - is that the case?

Fuchzia · 21/07/2010 08:39

What a strange thing not allow you to have hanging baskets. You should tell him that they are yours and he should leave them alone. My DH thinks my veg patch looks 'scruffy' but he wouldn't dare touch it.

Original poster
Maryqueenofchocs · 21/07/2010 08:41

He's a self confessed control freak, so am I. We're both Leo's and it can be a nightmare as we both think we're right most of the time. We do talk about it, its funny sometimes to stand back and see how differently we approach things, both thinking we're in the right.

However, I am just upset on this one, and if I take him to task over it, which I am more than capabale of, then it could end up in a row, and tbh is it worth it?

But I am just SOOOOOOOOOOO angry he's done it.....

OP posts:
maddylou · 21/07/2010 08:43

Well I thought you meant he`d cut the lot down!

EricNorthmansmistress · 21/07/2010 08:44

Ummm...yes, it is worth it. WTF does being leo have to do with him being a controlling twat? They were yours, he had no right to do that, and if you don't think it's worth a row to tell him so....well.

MaryBS · 21/07/2010 08:44

For me it would be the principle of the thing - if you let it go, IMHO it would be giving him carte blanche to do what he likes with your stuff. He has overstepped a boundary.

I'm a control freak too (and USED to be married to an even bigger one) - but even I know when its going too far.

sapphireblue · 21/07/2010 08:45

YANBU. Go and lop a couple of feet off something of his in retaliation (that's what I'd do, but then I am particularly childish!)

DuelingFanjo · 21/07/2010 08:47

cut the ends of his trousers off!

Original poster
Maryqueenofchocs · 21/07/2010 08:48

Maybe I should trim down his lawnmower lead... ....honestly, it was getting too long, it 'needed' doing...!

OP posts:
knickers0nmyhead · 21/07/2010 08:58

i cut the legs off his trousers 'because they needed doing'

knickers0nmyhead · 21/07/2010 08:58

i cut the legs off his trousers 'because they needed doing'

BigHairyLeggedSpider · 21/07/2010 09:22

I would go NUTS at him. Thus sparing any future hanging baskets from his exessive prunage. They were not his. They were yours. Tell him how upset you are in simple language he might understand. What a shitbag.

jalopy · 21/07/2010 09:24

I think your hanging baskets are the least of your worries.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/07/2010 09:27

What a miserable old git.

Why woukd he do that when they were your pride and joy?

Spiteful and controlling. It is worth a row imo.

What has being a Leo got do do with anything?

SugarMousePink · 21/07/2010 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carbonated · 21/07/2010 09:47

He's not a 'Leo', he is a controlling knobhead. 1/12 of the population are 'Leos' and they would not all treat their partner in this horrible way. You are just kidding yourself. Have the row.

melikalikimaka · 21/07/2010 09:54

My DH is a bit like that, things always need trimming and tidied. But I would be annoyed he didn't leave them alone after you had told him not to. YANBU.

IMoveTheStars · 21/07/2010 09:55

Is he back yet OP? Did you decide what to do?

loopyloops · 21/07/2010 09:56

Well said Carbonated.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 21/07/2010 09:59

Big, massive tantrum would be my advice. Possibly involving smashed crockery

Matsikula · 21/07/2010 10:05

May I offer another perspective? Your garden is, presumably, a shared space, therefore your other half is entitled to some say in how it looks. Ivy grows incredibly quickly, your baskets will probably be how you like them again in about 2 weeks time.

It is quite annoying that he just went ahead and did it anyway, worth a minor row. But it's really not such a heinous crime, is it? For example, if you put some of his CD collection away in a relatively inaccessible cupboard, would that make you a control freak, or just a bit annoying?

SugarMousePink · 21/07/2010 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melikalikimaka · 21/07/2010 10:17

No even better, get two of his favourite CDs, tape them to your slippers, walk around the house for 1/2 hour. Take them off, put them back in the cover. Put them back in the cupboard!