to be almightily pissed off my dh cut down all my hanging baskets...

[Maryqueenofchocs]

OK, first year of having gorgeous big hanging baskets, dh always been against it as he said i'd not look after them and it'd be a waste of money.

So, this year, he relents and I have been lovingly watering and feeding these two baskets for months now. (I am not your typical green fingered gardener I might add).

A few nights ago he suggested we cut off some of the longer trailing ivy as they were getting long, I disagreed as this added to their beauty and grandness, they are now huge, willowy, dangly, colourful baskets.

This morning I go outside to find both have been lopped off at the bottom and only about a foot of ivy is handing down.

I am furious. And Upset. And more furious...He's gone off on school run and I cannot decide whether its worth the row. He knows I was pissed off and he just said they 'needed doing'.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

at "we are both Leo's"...You just go ahead and brush of his twat acting nature on account of a star sign.

Matsikula - if the CD's were something that he looked after, paid for, tidied and dusted. And then they discussed moving them, and the DH said he liked them where they were and he was proud of them, and then the OP decided to wait until he was absent and move them anyway because she wanteds her way, then yes, I think that would be controlling.

Yeah, but the ivy will grow. The longer you let it get, the more water it will take from the other plants, so you'll have to water more and more and the basket will get heavier and heavier. Not very environmentally friendly either.

Sorry, Maryqueenofchocs, I do not approve of your husband's methods, but horticulturally speaking, he has a point.

Its not about the bloody ivy, its about a complete lack of respect and being a twat. which he is.

cut his bollocks off

If it's part of a consistent pattern of behaviour, it's not about the ivy. If it's a one off, it's a minor row about the ivy.

I think it is possible to do things that annoy your partner without it making you a t*, or your relationship doomed. Get out the Veet by all means, but you'll probably feel a bit ashamed afterwards. Maybe better just to bring it up, have a row, then forget about it.

DH and I quite often have different opinions on what needs to be pruned/left in the garden. The most contentious thing is a huge cotoneaster that is ugly and straggly. He would like to prune it, I want it to be left as it is a bee-magnet in spring and the berries are bird food in autumn. He respects my wishes enough to leave the cotoneaster alone. If he hacked at it despite me telling him to leave it alone, I'd be having serious words with him and it would make me reconsider our relationship. But then, he never would because he respects me and my opinions. Something which your husband obviously doesn't do.

And being a Leo doesn't mean you're a twat btw.

It's a total disrespect for the OP's wishes when she had made it abundantly clear as to what those wishes were. And on something she had spent a great deal of time and energy nuturing despite the OP being told by her husband that she would not be able to do it.

Sounds like a complete twat tbh and one that likes to control and belittle the OP.

I'm a gemini, does that give me a twat caveat for every occasion too?

Oh come on, isn't it more likely he just didn't understand she was really set against him doing it? And from his point of view, you got your hanging baskets (which he doesn't like the idea of), now you won't let him have any say in when they should be cut back either?

Just talk to each other properly.

Thanks for all the comments, taken alot on board this morning.

I did talk to him, calmly (no veet or scissors in sight), and explained that I was pissed off with what he had done it. He immediately apologised and said he had got carried away pruning the bushes next to them and just lopped off the ivy at the same time without thinking...(he claims he forgot I talked about them the other day).

I explained that I loved the ivy trailing down and that I have now got to look at stunted baskets for the rest of the summer and he should keep his hacking hands to himself in future.

I got a grovel and a cuppa tea. btw just threw the leo bit in as an aside, never thought it would cause so much debate...

Thanks tho......

dinner being made for a week.

and foot massages.

I find it bizarre interesting how on threads where anyone's DP has done something moderately insensitive/thoughtless, people pile in and call him a controlling twat, intimating that the OP is in an abusive relationship. I've seen it so many times, and I wonder whether it's a bit of an over-reaction.

Agree, peering.

Nice that it all ended happily though.

Agree peering' andlittle*, grateful for advice from MN, however there was a point today I nearly posted how unlike a controlling twat he really was.........thought it would be seen as ungrateful tho!

remember to stick the cut off bits of ivy in a pot, they will root easily

hanging baskets are naff tho

I read some of the venom and abuse on MN directed at men who are being typical blokes insensitive, blunt, bossy, thoughtless, forgetful, un-emotionally aware etc, and think... How would it be if this were Men's Net (is there one?), and the women described in posts were displaying behaviour that often seems just as unfathomable and unacceptable to men? If the men all piled in and labelled the OP's DP as a bitch, controlling twat, cunt etc, and recommended he make her grovel, do housework, cut up her clothes to teach her a lesson, disolve her hair with Nair... I reckon any woman reading that would be utterly outraged. I know a lot of the 'revenge' comments are made light-heartedly, and that's the spirit in which I read them, but it always strikes me how one-sided it is, and how many of you would be if you read 'light-hearted' comments about women on a male-dominated website.

Just a thought..

Really glad it worked out OP - it just sounded to me like he was being a typical anal bloke and needed a kick up the bum... metaphorical of course; I would never condone violence towards men..