... to think that most of the good men are taken when you're 30

[Beethoven]

I rather suspect I am being unreasonable. I'm just having a bit of a glum day being 30, and thinking if the good men are out there.

i think meeting people gets harder as friends get married and have families = less time spent out socialising. but just like there are single women, there are single men. my husband was 29 when we met, no ex wife, no kids, bit shy (had to ask him out and throw myself at him in the end ) i consider myself lucky to have bagged him before anyone else noticed he was up for grabs. i guess it requires people to be more proactive in hunting for someone, unless you're lucky enough to find them at work.

i think meeting people gets harder as friends get married and have families = less time spent out socialising. but just like there are single women, there are single men. my husband was 29 when we met, no ex wife, no kids, bit shy (had to ask him out and throw myself at him in the end ) i consider myself lucky to have bagged him before anyone else noticed he was up for grabs. i guess it requires people to be more proactive in hunting for someone, unless you're lucky enough to find them at work.

Wow 30 seems so young to be worrying about this. There are TONS of good men still at that age.

Errr, at least that's how it feels now that I am married. When I was 30 and living in London I couldn't find one anywhere. They were all arrogant tossers who thought you wanted to marry them the moment you started chatting to them.

I met my (baggageless) dh when I was 35, he was 38, at work - although it was a hobby in common that got us together.

And I had to leave London to meet him.

I met wonderful DH at 30, married at 32, DD born at 35.There are still lots of lovely men out there at 30!

I think by 30 your social circle can be quite set in stone... I was nearly 31 when I met DH. But I met him as a result of moving departments at work. If you haven't made any new friends (male or female) in the last six months you need to shake things up to do so. Anything from a new job to a book group...

Don't worry, about a quarter of the ones that got married in their 20s will be getting divorced and going back out to singledom soon ;)

I met my DH when I was 31, he was 36 and had never been married before, no kids, baggage etc - he's lovely! I left a 2 year relationship when I was 30 and remember feeling the same way as you OP, I thought I had missed my chance to get married and have kids and that I would never meet someone else as it was now 'too late' and I never met any men anywhere.

Internet dating FTW!

When I met dh he was in his mid-to-late 30's. He had no baggage at all. Had 2 serious relationships, one of which had been engaged. He is very traditional and you nevr would have met him internet dating.
You would probably have met him at a party.

I suppose you would have to ask your friends to have big parties, with all the same age group. friends with children, work colleagues, bloke form saturday football, the bloke from french lessons etc etc.

Longtalljosie it does seem that way. I have lived here for 3 years now, in an area where most people who live here grew up here. All my friends here are parents (mostly in couples) and when they do get the chance to go out they go with their friends that they have known and socialised with for years rather than with people who they just know through their kids.

I might have to start saying look I have no friends so next time you go out/have a party please can I tag along? Oh and do you know any single men?

There are definitely some out there but it is a lower liquidity market- social circles are less fluid and there's less fresh blood.

I think internet dating is a great idea for those it suits (pays to advertise!) but I also think that you can risk missing some real gems if this is your only tactic.

DH would have died old and lonely before he'd have gone on the internet (friendly but shy with people he doesnt know) - fortunately we met through convulted friend of friend scenario.

My advice would be to check out all friends of any new Bf's/gf's within your group of friends.

Despair not...... There are plenty of halfway decent chappies out there but I reckon finding the right one(s) is more about mindset than simply meeting them...... Moving into my 30s, I saw loads of my friends getting kind of desperate, feeling incomplete without being on some bloke's arm. And their choices were inevitably inappropriate. For me, I cultivated a mindset, whereby I was happy being on my own (alone, not lonely - actually, really nice to do what you want, when you want it & how you want it). I think that freed me from a sense of needing to be paired off and then, in my later 30s, when a good & appropriate bloke did cross my path, I didn't have any preconceptions & recognised his good qualities, accepted his.... err.... less attractive ones & decided, in the round, that being with him was even better than being by myself. Married 17 years now - still bloomin' excellent!!

I'm lovely. I'm mid 30s. I'm available.

Please form an orderly queue.

YANBU (but I'm having a crappy day too)

YANBU and i'm 42! i contemplate another 40-odd years of being single with resignation. (& yes, i know, that attitude probably doesn't help!)

But are you a man tiggy??

I think I just about qualify.

I may be far more used to men but I'll have a go at a woman too. Not entirely sure what everything does but I'll work it out.

Well I'm 32 and I can't get out to meet anyone as dd is only 2. I also can't really afford online dating. Even when I did go out lots I didn't meet any gooduns etc. (self-pity emoticon) I sooo miss meeting men just for company.

There are free dating sites if you did want to go down that route

I agree - there are lots of lovely men who work in male-dominated professions and so don't meet many women. I also agree that if you're not meeting new people regularly, you're not going to somehow meet the man for you.

Yes, if you want first-hand, but the secondary market is just beginning!

So have we decided who get the first go with me?