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Original poster

... to think that most of the good men are taken when you're 30

71 replies

Beethoven · 20/07/2010 15:30

I rather suspect I am being unreasonable. I'm just having a bit of a glum day being 30, and thinking if the good men are out there.

OP posts:
bonnymiffy · 20/07/2010 16:42

Met DH at 40, married at 41, never been happier in all my life. Not sure it's nice to refer to DSS as "baggage" (as he is a delight most of the time) but I would have to wonder at someone who at the age of 40+ has never had a relationship. Alot of the good ones are taken, but certainly not all of them. Best of luck!

Mommy2BubbanHun · 20/07/2010 16:50

Get yourself down to 'Games Workshop' or Maplin's on a Saturday afternoon. That's where they are.

They are out there, even at 30 or 40 plus. Have you tried mysinglefriend.com?

vinocollapso · 20/07/2010 16:53

What's defined as 'good' anyhoo? I have several male friends who are single who worry about the same thing, that all the 'good' women are taken!

I met DH at 32 (he was 38), still together 6 years later, first baby due next week, and we met through The Guardian's Soulmates.

By this age some 'baggage' is a possibility, but that wouldn't bother me - rather that than a single bloke still living at home with his mum!

Enjoy looking, and enjoy your life, the man for you is out there, and the universe will chuck him your way soon enough!

xx

ReasonableDoubt · 20/07/2010 16:59

No way. Most men under 30 (that I know) are still living the single life. The best men are over 30, or even 35 . I met DH when he was 37. He was a right jack the lad, but has morphed into a very solid, lovely husband (of 10 yrs) and father of two.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 20/07/2010 17:00

I can remember a friend at about thirty saying that she was waiting for the first round of divorces to come through in a few years.

spilttheteaagain · 20/07/2010 18:03

My uncle was one of these singles because he was desperately shy. Asked out his first GF aged about 45, she was about 40. They married shortly after and had one DD when he was 47. She's now 7.

I thought it was lovely, as is he. These men are out there but some of them are in hiding!

AbFabT · 20/07/2010 18:06

LOL @ Mommy2BubbanHun. If we go into our town on a Saturday, DH ALWAYS wants to drag me into Maplin and GAME! They are even next door to each other!

Anyway. To add. Met my DH when he was 31, I was 34. Married a year later - he's brilliant, and was so worth waiting for.
No 'baggage' with either of us, either - merely waiting for the right person.

I had to go all the way to deepest darkest Wales to meet him (I live in London, he is Scottish, so not home territory for either of us!), but sooooo worth getting out there, and making the effort.

I have two gorgeous brothers, both over 30, single. Nothing wrong with either of them!

They are out there!

octopusinabox · 20/07/2010 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ByTheSea · 20/07/2010 18:28

They are still around but often have baggage.

Jaquelinehyde · 20/07/2010 18:29

I met DP at 30 and I have never been happier, he was 25 though so maybe go for a toyboy.

LutyensCBA · 20/07/2010 18:35

My brother is a typical nerd working in a male-dominated environment. He is painfully shy and, at 25 has only had one relationship - and even that happened because the girl pursued him relentlessly, breaking through his shell. I was very sad when they broke up, because I can totally see him reaching 30, or even 40 without ever having another girlfriend. Mum and I are hot on the lookout for single girls to introduce to him, but he's so shy he blanks them and they go and leave!

So, in short, yes there still are good guys, but you may have to look harder and work harder to find them

thesecondcoming · 20/07/2010 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreakoidOrganisoid · 20/07/2010 18:41

Don't suppose any of these single men you know are in Somerset?

AbFabT · 20/07/2010 18:44

Agree with octopus re nothing wrong with someone who is 30+ not having had a live-in relationship/divorce behind them.
As I said above, I was 34 when I met DH. I had never lived with anyone before, not because there is anything wrong with me, but because I didn't want to, and it was important to me to hold out for the right man to live with. I also wanted to wait to live together until marriage. (I realise this could be a different topic on its own, but I just wanted to address the previous comment!).

DH hadn't lived with a woman prior to me either - and I really like that he hadn't.

stainesmassif · 20/07/2010 19:28

nonsense at 30. i wouldn't have recognised what a 'good man' looked like til i was 34! don't write off younger men though. definitely worth investigating.

BeerTricksPotter · 20/07/2010 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FranSanDisco · 20/07/2010 19:46

I thought that when I hit 30 and broke up with a long term partner. Then I met dh when I was 33 and the rest as they say is ... [fill in the dots] . I wouldn't change him

FakePlasticTrees · 20/07/2010 19:55

younger man not an option?

actually, I know several couples who met in their 30's. There are blokes out there who's only 'baggage' is to have focussed on their careers and not dated anyone seriously.

Online dating. Failing that, go work in a male dominated industry - DH works in IT, except for the boss' PA, they have one woman working in that department. There's a couple of single blokes who work with him, but they don't meet any woman through work, their social life is spending time with couples, so have gone for online dating to increase their chances.

prettywhiteguitar · 20/07/2010 19:56

No, No I met my lovely DP last year, I am 32 and he is 34, we met in a pub, I got chatting to his friends and then asked him out at the end of the night.

He was v.shy, but its all worked out !! We are buying a house this year ! So don't give up

asbolutelyfabulous · 20/07/2010 22:28

I met my DH in a carpark at the end of a very long and stressful day at work! He was 35, me 30. I was in a terrible mood, he asked me some tourist question as he was on business and didn't know where to go for dinner, then ended up asking me to go with him. I told him to sod off, then changed my mind as I was getting into my car. Three weeks later engaged and living together, 10 months after that married, another year on from that a baby popped out. We've been together for 3.5 years now.

I still think it incredible that such a wonderful man was kicking about in the world on his own, that no other woman had snappped him up. In short, they're out there!

Gleeb · 20/07/2010 22:37

I found mine at a funeral when we were 33 . A year in and I still think he is just about the world's most perfect person, but let's just see how that goes....

lou33 · 20/07/2010 22:41

there are still some good ones out there, it just might take a bit longer to find

i am 43 and my bf is 38, we have been together for 7 months and he is the best man i ever met

he is better with my kids than their own father

i also had a 9 month relationship which ended 3 yrs ago as he was emigrating, with someone who was 11 yrs younger too, and he was the one who made me feel good about myself again after my exh and i split

OneFishTwoFish · 20/07/2010 22:55

I am LOL (in a good way) at people meeting at funerals and in car parks. Talk about when you least expect it...

lou33 - have meant to say to you for ages, you really remind me of the actress, Jennifer Ehle.

lou33 · 20/07/2010 23:20

lol i cant see it myself, is it good or bad?!

OneFishTwoFish · 20/07/2010 23:24

Oh good, definitely. She's beautiful. Mr Darcy thought so, anyway!