Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to be nervous about leaving 8mo in a room at hotel with intercom...

72 replies

FionaSH · 19/07/2010 20:05

Ok, any of you reading my previous threads will know I'm a worrier, with a difficulty of telling what is "normal" and not over-anxious behaviour.
My latest one that I'd like you to tell me whether I'm being normal is...

Going to a wedding in a hotel. The whole hotel will be our wedding party - no other guests. Bride and groom have arranged for intercoms, so we can leave our DCS, once put down to bed, in our respective rooms. My DS is 8mo. We'd put him to bed at 7pm, and I can't imagine me being later than 10.30pm.
My gut insticnt is "no" and horrible thoughts along the lines of Madeleine McCann. Obviously our door would be locked and we'd have the intercom...

What would a normal person do?? Is this normal wedding state of play?

AIBU??

OP posts:

Original poster

FionaSH · 19/07/2010 21:01

diddl - yes we will have him for ceremony and reception....I must admit I'm wondering if I need to rethink the whole thing. It's not going to be much fun for him

Still breastfeeding, so it limits my options somewhat. I'm determined to have a bit of time-out, because I think I might actually be starting to go a little bit mad

Also slightly nervous (ok, very) about using strangers as babysitters, so I think pleading with my parents may be the best option.

OP posts:

dobbyssocks · 19/07/2010 21:02

YANBU personally I wouldn't do it. I would have been too anxious to leave mine as babies and now that they're older (4&1) I'd be more concerned about them waking and doing themselves harm/wandering than someone getting to them.

We're away at a family do in a hotel next weekend and we'll let them stay up for a while hopefully 1yo will fall asleep in his pram. When they go to bed we'll take it in turns to sit in with them. As the whole family is going I'm hoping grandparents will offer to sit for 1/2 hour or so so we get a bit of the night together but I would absolutely not relax if they were in a room on their own away from me.

reddaisy · 19/07/2010 21:06

Littlesilver - Yes, she had had a very long day. DD watched TV and charged me £30 for looking after the babysitter.

LittleSilver · 19/07/2010 21:09

diddl · 19/07/2010 21:10

We went to a wedding with a young baby & I was bfeeding.

TBH we´d had enough after the wedding & reception.

We had a couple of drinks at the evening reception but were getting tired (wimps) so didn´t stay too long.

rupert22 · 19/07/2010 21:10

I know LittleSilver, I know, dont mean to scaremonger, its just i would like to cover all bases when entrusting my valuable cargo

LittleSilver · 19/07/2010 21:13

jkklpu's comment reminds me of family legend, circa 1983

On holiday in California (DSis,12 DB,10 DF, DM, me aged 2)DF got emergency work call summoning him to Japan. So DM drived DF to airport at about 4am, figuring she'll be back before any of us wakes up.

Only she forgets the name of the hotel.

And the freeway turnoff.

She drove around for hours before she found us again.

qwertpoiuy · 19/07/2010 21:27

LittleSilver, your poor mum! I can't imagine what must have gone through her mind when this was happening!

qwertpoiuy · 19/07/2010 21:28

Or what went through your sibling's heads!

undercovamutha · 19/07/2010 21:45

My DSis got married when DS was 6mo. We got him ready for bed before the evening party, and took him along in the lie-flat pushchair. He feel asleep (despite the disco) within about half an hour. We parked him in the corner next to all the elderly grannies and aunties, and enjoyed our night.

When DD (3) finally gave up disco dancing at 10.30, DH took both DD and DS up to our room and they both went back to sleep straight away, as did slightly tipsy DH! It was textbook, and I got to dance the night away !

Give it a try - these things are never as traumatic as you think they will be!

whoneedssleepanyway · 20/07/2010 09:35

Rupert22 how is someone sitting outside the rooms patrolling any different to sitting downstairs at home in your living room with baby upstairs, unless they cry when you are at home you don't hear something is wrong e.g. sick etc....i still think you would be ok with a responsible adult sitting outside the room or on the corridor. BTW your sitter sounds a nutcase [shocked] !!!

coraltoes · 20/07/2010 09:52

I just ask you one thing.
Is it worth the risk?

If your answer is no, then dont take the risk, find another means of childcare or let baby stay up a touch later and all retire to the room at the same time. I would never ever leave a child on their own in a hotel room. You have no idea who has a key to that room, and what if there is a fire, can you guarantee you'd be allowed access to retrieve your child or would you be forced to evacuate knowing they were in there on their own? a few extra hours of party vs the safety of your child and your own peace of mind...not a tough one is it? Trust your clearly smart instinct.

DomesticG0ddess · 20/07/2010 10:01

I have used a monitor for a short meal at restaurants within hotels, but only in very small hotels (a few rooms, more like a large house really so you are close by) and you can see who is there, etc, not lots of people coming in and out. In any other instance - monitor unreliable, or a larger hotel we have used a hotel babysitter who will sit in the room. I think most hotels can organise this for you.

IMO it is not very relaxing using a monitor anyway - on the couple of instances that we did, we were up and down the stairs checking on DS incase the monitor wasn't working properly! A wedding is likely to be v noisy and you might not hear the monitor either.

faddle · 20/07/2010 11:00

I wouldnt leave my children alone in a hotel room until they were of an age to be able to recognise the fire alarm, realist its significance, be able to act on it, and be able to remember the correct route toevacuate themselves in event of a fire/other emergency. In all but the smallest hotel, you will likely be at least 1 floor, and quite a way from your child, and if the worst happens, you wont be able to get to them to help. My worst nightmare!
There are just too many unknowns in this equation (how many people have keys, how fast can I get to the room if the fire alarm goes off etc etc) for me to be comfortable with it. Just my opinion, but I wouldnt do this with my 6 yo and 4yo, never mind an 8mo baby.

Chil1234 · 20/07/2010 11:08

I'd go with the idea of putting baby in their pushchair near your table and letting them go to sleep while you dance the night away.

As a more general point, I've left mine from the age of 3 in our usual (small country house size) hotel while I'm downstairs chatting with the grown-ups. There's no babysitting service but a yale lock on the door means he can get out but no-one can get in, light on in the en-suite in case he needs the loo. I go back and check every hour but he's never so much as moved position. All the other parents staying at the hotel do the same thing because we've judged it's a safe environment. As a single-mum if I couldn't do this it would mean my holiday evenings finish at 7pm.

OrdinaryJo · 20/07/2010 11:13

We tried to do this at a small family wedding (we were the only guests). We had a monitor and so did my SIL - and the signals interfered with each other and so neither monitor worked! So I wouldn't rely on the monitor option. TBH at that age I would have gone with a wee walk around until the baby falls asleep then a quiet corner.

We did once go to a great wedding where all the parents chipped in for a qualified nanny - she had all the babies in one room and all the bigger kids in another watching a DVD. Bliss!

teaandcakeplease · 20/07/2010 11:21

I know someone with walky talkies (good range and quality) who basically taped down with duck tape the transmission button on the one in the kids room and put it up high and took the other one with them. So they could hear them all night and it was really clear and they could hear everything.

However I'd be more inclined to take them down stairs with me in pjs as others have said and let them sleep in the buggy. YANBU

StealthPolarBear · 20/07/2010 11:38

teaandcake, how is that different to a baby monitor?

teaandcakeplease · 20/07/2010 11:43

Ummmmm I don't know much baby monitors, the ones I had were all rubbish though and had a poor range, so they wouldn't work in a hotel.

teaandcakeplease · 20/07/2010 11:44

Oh and needed to be plugged into a socket. But I think there are ones you can keep on your belt

Oh God knows LOL

StealthPolarBear · 20/07/2010 11:48

yes mine cuold be plugged in but could also run on batteries. They had loops for hanging from your waist. Range was pretty good I think.

diddl · 20/07/2010 12:44

I would try keeping baby with in pushchair tbh.

We would have done this had we not been so knackered & the room not so smokey.

Flip

1 2 3