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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be nervous about leaving 8mo in a room at hotel with intercom...

72 replies

FionaSH · 19/07/2010 20:05

Ok, any of you reading my previous threads will know I'm a worrier, with a difficulty of telling what is "normal" and not over-anxious behaviour.
My latest one that I'd like you to tell me whether I'm being normal is...

Going to a wedding in a hotel. The whole hotel will be our wedding party - no other guests. Bride and groom have arranged for intercoms, so we can leave our DCS, once put down to bed, in our respective rooms. My DS is 8mo. We'd put him to bed at 7pm, and I can't imagine me being later than 10.30pm.
My gut insticnt is "no" and horrible thoughts along the lines of Madeleine McCann. Obviously our door would be locked and we'd have the intercom...

What would a normal person do?? Is this normal wedding state of play?

AIBU??

OP posts:

onadietcokeboycott · 19/07/2010 20:28

what if there was a fire and you couldnt get to baby?

Please just dont.....

If you are worried about noise damaging her ears then you can buy ear defenders which fit from 6mths...we have purchased some for air day!

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 19/07/2010 20:29

There is not a chance that I'd do this with my 11 month old. Of course, baby will probably be fine but probably isn't really good enough is it.
As someone has already mentioned, I wouldn't have any fun worrying about fire, baby being sick or distressed and wanting mummy as well as the other examples given.
Definitely trust your instincts on this one.

Hopefully you can sort out a babysitter and still manage to have a relaxing, fun night x

electra · 19/07/2010 20:29

Have you thought about using the agency Sitters? They are very good and will babysit in hotel rooms.

catinboots · 19/07/2010 20:29

I would worry more about the possibility of a fire than anything else

mistletoekisses · 19/07/2010 20:30

Am with all the others. Wouldnt do it. In a similar position I used a local babysitter that was recommended. Had a fab night and actually relaxed knowing there was someone with DS.

There was a thread about this a while ago. I think a mumsnetter did this, the fire alarm went off and the staff were trying to stop her getting back to her room to get her DC's.

Hassled · 19/07/2010 20:31

If you don't feel relaxed about it, then don't do it. Sod everyone else - it's your baby, your call. Really - I'm a fairly laid back older mother of four and I quite understand why you're twitchy, so you're not being unreasonable in the slightest. And ultimately, if you'll be fretting and unhappy all night then there's no point anyway.

See if you can hire a babysitter for the night - the hotel might know someone, and you can get references.

LadyBiscuit · 19/07/2010 20:32

I would do it but if you're worried then arrange for a babysitter to go and sit with your DS. No big drama necessary

Longtalljosie · 19/07/2010 20:34

yy to Sitters, they're great.

At a wedding we also used Tinies, which provide a nanny service for hotel rooms at weddings

Original poster

FionaSH · 19/07/2010 20:36

Mistletoekisses - oh my god, burst into tears reading about what happened to your friend - god that's just too awful a situation to imagine, even if it was just a false alarm....being told you couldn't go in to get your babies, makes me feel sick.
Hadn't even considered fire risk (which is unusual for me - currently pestering DH to buy a rope ladder to store in the nursery for if there's a fire....he thinks I'm bonkers )

OP posts:

OhCobblers · 19/07/2010 20:37

i'm one of the most laid back people i know. When i want to go out i always get a sitter if i want to go out (i've used them many more times than my own parents / in-laws). we started going out from the time DC1 was 10 days old BUT i wouldn't do as your scenarior suggests either.

i would always get a babysitter - we've used SITTERS a lot - would highly recommend them.

for a much needed night out you must be able to relax and i suspect you won't with a monitor (we've got a great monitor but i'm sure it wouldn't reach reception of a hotel).

get a babysitter, and drink as much as you like, dance the night away and enjoy it - i'm pretty sure that won't happen with a monitor attached to your belt, straining to hear it!

have a fabulous time.

Sassybeast · 19/07/2010 20:40

Wouldn't consider it for a second.

qwertpoiuy · 19/07/2010 20:42

Maybe there will be a relation who is a wedding guest that would be happy to grab a paper and sit in the room with your children while they sleep?

My father (now RIP) would get tired of the music and talking he would be happy to go up to our room for a bit of peace while putting his feet up and reading the paper/wacth TV on a low volume while knowing to phone me if any of the children woke up.

LittleSilver · 19/07/2010 20:43

reddaisy, you got the babysitter to sleep first?

OP I wouldn't either. And I think I'm very laid back. MumNWLondon's idea is good.

onadietcokeboycott · 19/07/2010 20:44

heres a previous similar thread

notasausage · 19/07/2010 20:46

My DH got into someone elses room while they were alseep - put key card into their door by mistake and it worked so it can and does happen. It's tempting to leave your young DC as we will have a similar problem for my brothers wedding later this year but we won't be leaving DD alone (1.11) and I'm not generally risk averse but this is too much.

Do you know others at the wedding with kids? Could you put them all to sleep in the same room and take say 30 minute shifts. Could the hotel provide a small side room with several cots for this purpose and then move up to your room at the end of the night?

NonnoMum · 19/07/2010 20:46

I don't think I'd do it.

Going to make a suggestion that you can completely ignore...

Have you got a lie-flat pram? Some babies (mine on v rare occasions) can be rocked off and sleep through parties (they must get this from their mother). You could (possibly) get your DC to sleep, pop them in the corner of the room away from the worst excesses of the disco lights, and watch them sleep through YMCA... And besides, there might be a spare granny/auntie/teenager who would like nothing better than to watch them like a hawk (or wheel them about a bit) all night...

Well, they do that sort of things at festivals, don't they?

onadietcokeboycott · 19/07/2010 20:49

The lady mistleote referred to was mumsnut on this thread

"We did, nervously, when ds was 4m leave him in a hotel room while we went to the reataurant. The hotel is small, about 10 rooms, and we thought it would be safe.

The first night, there was a fire. The hotel staff tried to stop us running upstairs to get him and we mowed them down. We were on the top floor. Horrible scary. We got him down and out of the building and would NEVER leave him again"

why not to leave baby in hotel room

FakePlasticTrees · 19/07/2010 20:53

Call the hotel, (not the bride and groom, they've got enough to sort!) find out if they have childminders they use reguarly who are CBR checked etc. and book them for the night.

We did this recently for a wedding and in the end shared the childminder with another family who put their DS to sleep in our room until 11pm ish when they collected him. I wouldn't have been happy just having a listening service for a whole evening, especially if the hotel have a lot of others to deal with.

You will probably find when you get there that other families want to share and cut the cost.

Original poster

FionaSH · 19/07/2010 20:54

Well, that's answered it for me. Not a cats chance in hell!!!

I shall look into a sitter or my parents or failing that, he'll just have to have a late night, and sleep in the buggy. He went to his first party at 10 days old (a CLAPA afternoon party - not a boozy knees up!) slept all the way through it, even when he won the "youngest partygoer" prize... hopefully he'll be the same next week.

OP posts:

LittleSilver · 19/07/2010 20:54

When my church goes away for annual weekend the evnings are broken down into 15 min slots and two people at a time do a patrol to listen out for crying babies/upset toddlers. That way there's ALWAYS one person listening out even if you have to take someone's child downstairs.

diddl · 19/07/2010 20:55

OP-so you´d have baby with you for the ceremony & reception?

In which case if nothing else could you & your husband take it in turns to be at the evening reception?

rupert22 · 19/07/2010 20:55

I would never do it. You cant hear if they are sick on the monitor, or worse.NO no no no no please dont do it if you are in any doubt. You wouldnt enjoy the night for worrying anyway. A sitter is better, although i am bad for not using strangers myself. Dh and i left ds with a young trainee nanny we knew slightly, went out for drinks and a curry locally and i felt ill so went home early. ....to find her staring into the cot, ds screaming his head off and her just staring at him. She jumped when i spoke and i thought, never, ever again. Dont know if it was anything, but it wasnt what i wanted to see for sure.

Hope you get it sorted, you need a night out.

LittleSilver · 19/07/2010 20:57

Bloody hell rupert.

everythingiseverything · 19/07/2010 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jkklpu · 19/07/2010 21:00

What country will you be in? In some US states, this can be interpreted as negligence and they might get the police involved if they find the baby alone. (Honestly.)

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