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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take MIL out for lunch with us tomorrow.

38 replies

MissMarjoribanks · 19/07/2010 18:42

FIL and DH are installing a new kitchen sink tomorrow. MIL is incapable of staying at home on her own and so will be tagging along for a day at ours.

According to DH, apparently the temporary loss of a kitchen sink will prevent MIL eating anything. Therefore I should take her with me when I go for lunch with DS and my friend and her DS tomorrow. So as not to AIBU by stealth it is a v. regular thing and friend's own mum (but not MIL) has occasionally gatecrashed before.

MIL will stifle conversation as she is v. religious and we are irreverent and talk about e.g. bumsex.

AIBU to sneak off before DH drops huge hints so I can't get out of it? DH has asked me to get the MN consensus on this.

OP posts:
slushy · 19/07/2010 18:46

I think your DH is being really sneaky what will him and FIL be eating? he just does not want his mum under his feet, so is saying she can't eat to try and pass the buck onto you so you have to deal with her very sneaky and clever ha ha .

StayFrosty · 19/07/2010 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFanjo · 19/07/2010 18:48

Nope. Say no no no.

diddl · 19/07/2010 18:49

Tell your husband to start early enough to be finished by lunchtime.

skidoodly · 19/07/2010 18:52

Would it kill you to be nice?

You can talk about your arsehole next week.

bibbitybobbityhat · 19/07/2010 18:53

Oh I would get some sandwiches from the bakery for the workers if MIL can't eat anything prepared in your kitchen and then head out for your lunch.

I have a MIL like this as well. The only nights she has spent apart from FIL in 45 years are when one or other of them have been in hospital. FIL offers to do little jobs around the house, it turns in to a full-on weekend stay for the both of them! .

SloanyPony · 19/07/2010 18:53

Say no.

What was your DS's first word? Bumsex?

NarkyPuffin · 19/07/2010 18:56

I'd make some lovely sandwiches for them first thing in the morning and leave them covered in the fridge. And fill up pans with water for cups of tea. Then run. It sounds like your DH wants you to keep her out from under his feet.

cat64 · 19/07/2010 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BAFE · 19/07/2010 19:02

I think you should take your MIL out to lunch with you.

Sometimes we have to do things we don't really want to in order to keep family life running smoothly.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 19/07/2010 19:08

Sandwiches and a very nice cake for her. Or take her for lunch and open her eyes and mind with some of your conversation.

Conundrumish · 19/07/2010 19:10

You talk about bumsex in front of your son?

Lazylion · 19/07/2010 19:11

It is only once OP, I would take her.

Original poster
MissMarjoribanks · 19/07/2010 19:12

My DS is 7mo and my friend's DS is 10mo, so neither of them, at present, have any concept of what we are discussing.

We don't make a habit of talking about bumsex, but if the conversation came to that topic, we would. And we're a bit sweary and talk in excruciating detail about bfing, usually whilst doing it.

I have no idea what DH and FIL will be eating, I assumed they would make sarnies as water is not a crucial component in them.

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 19/07/2010 19:13

yabu.

ShirleyKnot · 19/07/2010 19:18

Aw, how sweet.

Just think one day, if you're very lucky, your DS's wife might start threads about how awful an idea it would be to have to take YOU to lunch (and this sounds like a once in a blue moon occurrence) because you talk about bumsex in restaurants.

DetectivePotato · 19/07/2010 19:48

Why would your MIL want to go for lunch with you and your friend. There is no reason why she can't eat if they are fitting a sink.

diddl · 19/07/2010 20:02

OP-why can´t MIL stay at home on her own?

Mine tends to trail FIL everywhere, so with that in mind, she would rather stay at the house with FIL than have lunch with me.

And would even less than that want lunch with me & a friend tbh.

Firawla · 19/07/2010 20:09

if you dont take her then either get dh to take her and fil out both, or prepare some food for her in morning before you go. that way it doesnt look rude. you can just say sorry mil i already had arranged this with my friend, so i have prepared this food for you, can eat together with fil and your dh when they take a break from doing the sink?

AlistairSim · 19/07/2010 20:16

Your poor MIL.

Perhaps she wants to see her son and is dreading having to make an excuse not to go out with you.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/07/2010 20:19

So FIL is coming to fit a new sink in your house, is that right?

I do think you should take your MIL with you, I would take mine with me under the same circumstances.

BCBG · 19/07/2010 20:25

I second AlistairSim great name ... YABU....it is a very sad world where you can't make time for someone else: after all as you said, it is a very regular occurrence so lettting her in for once is not exactly going to rock your worls

coppertop · 19/07/2010 20:26

Has anyone actually asked MIL what she wants to do? If I were her I'd be annoyed to find out that people had already made plans for me without even consulting me.

Habbibu · 19/07/2010 20:27

YABU - one stifled conversation isn't the end of the world.

char3mum · 19/07/2010 20:29

the parent sitting trap!! don't get caught out you do it once it will become a regular event, send a lovely platter m&s maybe or a druckers take out, appologise that you can't keep her company and off you go, would hubby dear take your mum out for lunch? me thinks not. we are on to him

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