To want to strangle MiL for commenting on my cleanliness?

[Dinkytinky]

Every time she visits she makes a nasty comment about how clean the house is, only to me- never DP! today she walked in and said 'ooh it's nearly acceptable today'
it was fucking sparkling!!! Grr iVe worked 80 hours this week ! Raaaaar!

I'd keep a duster handy and the next time she comments hand it to her and say, "Knock yourself out!"

you tell her my ex MIL use to do my ironing for me and my mother and gran cleaned the house when dd1 was born

tell her to pull her finger out like other mIL's

My Dad does this, I hate it.

He says things like "You can't be expected to keep your house clean all the time with 2 kids and a husband who does nothing." It's a triple hit, your a tink, you can't cope with your kids and your husbands shite.

I always say he can help if he wants but he never does.

Some people are just rude, more so if it's your MIL and she's just saying it to you like it's not your dp's problem.

It doesn't sound like you are keeping an untidy house though. I think I would probably react by a snort of outraged laughter and an incredulous "Wow, do you realize how rude that sounds? I hope you don't say that kind of thing in other people's homes- you wouldn't be invited back!" and then just leave it.

Yes, agree with BOF, I would say in a light yet incredulous tone exactly that - "Do you realise how rude that sounds! Haha, thank goodness it's only me you've said it to but I wouldn't go saying that anywhere else, they'd think you terribly rude ha ha tinkle tinkle etc"

Confuzzeled i think we might have the same father lol.

My dad is always coming and saying that or if he comes over just after a meal he comments on the dishes in the sink im thinking ffs i alot ate 10mins ago gimmi time!!!

If i go out or come over to his house hes like oh havent u got some housework to do!!!!

Trouble is i cant say anything cus if i do he will take it badly and sulk for months on end that I was rude to him ffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel you pain OP i really do

Stand in front of Mil.

Look her in the eye.

Say quietly and coldly "why don't you shut the fuck up you hideous cow".

That'll put the cat among the pigeons.

Bibbity great idea, this it might cause a bit of tension for OP tho

Yes, might cause a leetel bit of tension ... but she'd probably get the message .

God - is that really all they think you're good for? keeping the house clean? It's really insulting isn't it. You might want to be doing something else with what little spare time you have, reading a book? Gardening? Open University degree?
Depressing isn't it.

love it, bibbity

I would say something to your DP. I would not let this go if it was my MIL

You need to stand up to your mil. bitoffun was spot on or it won't go away.

My mil has been doing it for 24 years. Have now grown a backbone and when she says something I answer back.

Alternative is to never invite her around to your home. This would work just as well.

Aww thanks all! I wasreally going mad-my only day off this week too!nasty old trout! I would never dream of going to anyones house and critising them for a few dishes! If you can't say anything nice and all that! Ace idea with joking she's being rude and if that fails I'll have no option but to take bippitys advice haha, I'm already planning it ' shut the fuck up you nasty venomous spiteful lonely old wretch, now jog on' ahem....

My DH always says to his DM "Don't worry, when I choose your nursing home I will get my own back"

its not just me then..............

my mother had her sister over from australia last year. me and my sister hadnt seen her since we were small children

my dsis spent days cleaning her house to get it looking good and create the right impression

my mother said, as they arrived "good god, i have never ever seen any of your houses this clean- what happended, did you employ someone?"

i could have decked her on the spot.

Ahh i have the opposite issue, she walks in and says "oh just you wait until you have the baby, it will never be this tidy" - errrr yes it will my love, i do not reside in a pigsty like she does and dont intend to let a baby send me down the road to rack and ruin cleanliness wise - her house is an absolute tip, and its nothing to do with kids, she thinks leaving a kitchen full of a weeks greasy pots and pans and closing the door on it is "keeping it tidy", and she has 3 bedrooms and only her in the house, we are 300 miles away and have never once stayed over as all the rooms are stacked to the rafters with crap, like something off those programmes about mad hoarding old bats that keep their own excrement wrapped in newspaper and urine in pop bottles!!!!

I say honesty is the best policy and speak your mind!

You could always play the "worried she's getting dementia, as she's started saying really inappropriate things" card.

You've just reminded me why I have not had MIL visit my home for 10 years, or been to her home for the same time. When I used to go to her's she'd spend the whole time giving me "tips" on housework/ironing Etc.Etc.
When she was in my home she'd go around the house with her nose stuck up muttering comments about what I ahd brought her DS to, how I had dragged him down etc, etc.....

By the way, my home is homely, but clean and I ahve 5 DCs.

I never felt comfortable with the DCs in her house. They may not have breathed in the right direction!!! DCs and a showhome just dont go!!!

Dinkytinky, I feel your pain - my MIL and my SIL (her daugher) are like this with knobs on!

Not only will there be bitchty comments about some small area of light dusting or a tiny spiders web for example, but those comments will be repeated to the rest of the family for the next year or two....

Of course, as these two ladies are the bitches "queen bees" of the family one is not allowed to reply, but meekly get the duster out then and there like a victorian servant!

I want to strangle them too!

not allowed to reply??? just speak your mind...what can they do? stop visiting - BONUS!!

OP - just tell your dp his mother eill not be visiting (unless you are out) for the foreseeable future due to her rudeness

If only!! DH thinks hi ma and sis emit light beams out of anus.

Keep a feather duster by the door. When she comes in, dust her vigorously, saying she's making the place look untidy.

Then poke her firmly with it.

And say bibbity's line for good measure.

My MIL is not allowed to visit unless her son is here too

I feel your pain. My mil always makes lound comments like "God, why do you always make food so HOT!. I almost burnt my mouth its so hot" and i tell her i dont like food poison so all food is freshly prepared and cooked thouroughly. Then its, " goodness, but you waste so much food" if there is lamb/beef whatever left on the table. I dont, i refridge it and use it but she doenst want to know that, she wants to beat me with something.,

Finally, at the end of her week long stay (hell) she grudgingly and patronisingly says "well, you are such a homemaker, i give you that"

Its amazing, a compliment thats really an insult! I cant do right for doing wrong

YABU to have not actually strangled her
It must be an MIL thing. Mine pointed out some dust underneath the dishwasher in an otherwise clean house one time - they can't resist.