Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think saving things ''for best'' is slightly mad?

95 replies

OutOutLetItAllOut · 18/07/2010 12:44

for our wedding, nearly 6 yrs ago, we got bought a very nice cutlery set..from then til now it has been used at xmas, and special occasions...until now, when i have opend it all up for general use.
im beginning to think that keeping things ''for best'', is mad. arent things bought to be used??
do you have things for best?

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 18/07/2010 12:45

I agree! With just about everything. Including children's clothing. If I buy something for a special occasion and I'm not planning to sell it, I dont let it sit in the wardrobe - they can wear it if they want. Etc.

MaudofallHopefulness · 18/07/2010 12:45

I try to use everything too. Mind you if I had some antique china I'd probably never use it.

Tigurr · 18/07/2010 12:45

We still have our wedding china & cutlery "for best" but suspect we'll start using it more once the children are older.

We try not to keep much "for best" these days as it seems such a waste to have it sat in a cupboard for no reason.

And other stuff we don't want to use, we sell on

Original poster
OutOutLetItAllOut · 18/07/2010 12:47

glad its not just me. i think using it shows we appreciated it more than keeping it in a box would.
i think if it was something breakable, i might keep it out of the mits of the sticky fingered ones in the house.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 18/07/2010 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LostArt · 18/07/2010 12:56

My mum has clothes, cutlery, bedding and patio furniture that is only to be used 'for best'. My grandmother was worse. When she died, we found tons of stuff that hadn't been used because it was for special occasion. It was quite sad really, because she never had the chance to fully enjoy the things.

I do my best to break the family tradition by not having anything worthy of 'for best'

Original poster
OutOutLetItAllOut · 18/07/2010 12:59

ill admit that we got some expensive crystal glasses for presents, that i have never even touched. im scared id smash them...it may have been a better idea to buy us cheap things!!!

OP posts:
upahill · 18/07/2010 13:04

YABU

We have everyday stuff of course but over the year it get knocked and chipped.

I like getting some special stuff out at Christmas and on special occasions.

borderslass · 18/07/2010 13:04

We got bought a canteen of cutlery when we got married 20 years ago tommorow and it still only gets used at christmas. My mum still has the sundae set that my grandma bought my mum and dad when they got married 53 years ago and it's in her glass cabinet.

jeminthecellar · 18/07/2010 13:08

My grandma only ever wore tatty old clothes.

When she died, her wardrobe was full of brand new clothes she had never worn as she was saving them 'for best'.

It was incredibly sad.

So I always try to use things as much as possible.

jeminthecellar · 18/07/2010 13:08

Although sometimes it is nice to just use things for special occasions.

Nancy66 · 18/07/2010 13:10

As a kid we had a 'best room' that we were only allowed in a couple of times a year....or when the priest came round.

Bonkers as it was a tiny house and there were six of us!

purits · 18/07/2010 13:10

DH drives me mad with his 'save for best' mentality. He will buy clothes that he puts away in the wardrobe 'for special' and then, when he gets them out ten years later, wonders why they no longer fit!

We have everyday crockery and Best crockery. It's nice to have something different and better quality for the big occasions like Christmas.

Ronaldinhio · 18/07/2010 13:12

nope I'm good enough to be counted as "best"

almost seems like weirdness from a time when we all had very little

a front room for best
cutlery
china
clothes

making do and mending whilst a load of nice decent stuff sits itching to be used in another empty lonely room

not for me...the nicer the better and get the good out if it (as my mother would say)

RustyBear · 18/07/2010 13:13

I have decided over the last 30 years since I got married that it's pointless getting a set of glasses 'for best'

What always happens is that you bring them out for an 'event' and one broken. Inevitably you will be unable to find a matching replacement, so you demote them to everyday use and get another new set for 'best' The old incomplete set then survives everything you throw at them, but at your next event one of the new 'best' set gets broken.

At one point I had the remnants of four 'best' sets of glasses in our cupboard....

CakeandRoses · 18/07/2010 13:19

Totally agree - we use everything.

My mother sometimes tells me I should store our expensive crockery rather than using it - why fgs when we could be using it every day and enjoying it?!

purits · 18/07/2010 13:20

LOL @ rustybear.
Now you know how shabby-chic and mismatching were invented!

upahill · 18/07/2010 13:35

I have some clothes that I save for 'best' If I wore them clothes everyday to go shopping and to go to work they soon would look tatty and I wouldn't feel good in them.

Also a bit pointless spending £100's on a desinger dress and wearing it to Tesco!

RustyBear · 18/07/2010 13:38

Oh, I have now embraced shabby-chic wholeheartedly, purits, though I suspect my version of it is not quite the same as Rachel Ashwell's!

BaggedandTagged · 18/07/2010 13:50

We have "everyday" crockery which has been in the wars a bit and then the stuff from our wedding list which we use when people come round (fairly often) so for me it's a question of balance. I really want that crockery to last a lifetime as I love it so much but am scared will get discontinued.

I did go and buy 2 spares of everything post wedding so that we had scope for breakages (just call me Monica).

I have no decent glasses as I never buy anything that doesnt go in the dishwasher

purits · 18/07/2010 13:56

I had to google Rachel Ashwell. How ridiculous is that? Shabby Chic Couture FGS. Is I saw you coming based on her?

fluffles · 18/07/2010 13:57

i don't like having 'best' stuff - i'm much happier with plain white ikea crockery and cheap wine glasses.. then you don't have to worry if they get broken.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 18/07/2010 14:00

I still have a set of wedding cuttlery that I only use for best. Madness, the aunt that gave it to us warned us to use it a lot or it would tarnish. We didn't listen and it has tarnished!!! We ditched the wedding china last year as that had loads of cracked plates etc and replaced it. Well It had lasted 22 years.

FakePlasticTrees · 18/07/2010 14:19

we have 'everyday' crockery and best - which was the wedding stuff. I like having non-chipped plates for special occasions! The wine glasses are also for best, but then they have to be hand washed and I only use things that can go in the dishwasher for 'everyday'. Our posh cuttlery we do use everyday, as that doesnt' really get damaged in the same way (and can go in the dishwasher)

The saddest thing to have for best is toys. My DS got a wooden Noah's ark full of pairs of wooden animals, absolutely gorgeous (and apparently cost my PIL a fortune) - some of our friends looked at us like we were insane when we said we wouldn't be putting it on a high shelf for 'display' but putting it in the dining room with the rest of his toys for him to smash play with.

And I do have clothes for best, but then I don't think it's the done thing to wear a silk ball gown to pop round Sainsburys...

Fizzywinelover · 18/07/2010 14:34

I agree with thinking savings things for best is a little odd.

My mother has some beautiful clothes, just lovely. All 'for best'. The occasional wedding or whatever. She says 'Oh no, I cannot wear that, it is for best'. The rest of the time she wears extremely tatty old clothes that do not fit, most of which she gets from chatiry shops. She looks, frankly, awful. Dowdy. And she CAN look fabulous. I think it is as if she thinks she is not worth making an effort just for herself. And no, before i get flamed, she is NOT happy looking like this all the time. She often speaks enviously of people who look good.

Drives me barmy. Just because it seems so sad, and such a waste. Took me until my mid 30s before i decided to stop following in her footsteps too.