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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think saving things ''for best'' is slightly mad?

95 replies

OutOutLetItAllOut · 18/07/2010 12:44

for our wedding, nearly 6 yrs ago, we got bought a very nice cutlery set..from then til now it has been used at xmas, and special occasions...until now, when i have opend it all up for general use.
im beginning to think that keeping things ''for best'', is mad. arent things bought to be used??
do you have things for best?

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 19/07/2010 15:59

Well obviously some clothes. I bought DS a shir\waistcoat/cravat formal outfit to wear to his uncle's wedding and I don't plan on putting him in that to go to the park every day - nor do I wear my own good suits or party outfits to nip to the pawnbroker or put the bins out. Also, with DS' clothes, if he gets some new tops or whatever I will often put the nicest one aside for the next 'occasion' ie visiting grandparents or going to a birthday party so I know there will be one pristine top the next time there is an occasion rather than realising that the only one that fits is in the wash or covered in tomato stains that won't wash out..
And I have some nice antique crockery that I only use when we have visitors.

mamatomany · 19/07/2010 18:26

A top tip I was given was that school shirts come in packs of three so you buy 2 packs, that gives you 6 shirts, one for every day of the week, plus 1 you put aside for the school christmas show, prize giving or whatever but that is the only time I keep anything for best.
My girls have been dressed in party dresses with wellies to go to the dentist before now.

Chandon · 19/07/2010 18:31

I don`t do "best" either.

So as a result, I can look quite glamorous on the school run, but would wear the same for going out for dinner.

And some of my friends get nervous when they see my DC eating off nice Wedgwood plates and insist I do not let their DC eat from those, so have to go rooting around for old plastic ones.... (DC are 4 and 7) but kids don`t break plates do they? Also, yes, it is Wedgwood but I buy "seconds" or second hand on e-bay, so they came cheaper than you might think.

If I have nice choc or wine, I will open it asap when I have people around.

twolittlemonkeys · 19/07/2010 18:44

We have a few things for best, eg a nice Denby crockery set (we put a cheapo Argos one on our wedding list too) I'm glad, because we still have nice stuff to use when entertaining, whereas 3 of our cheap set of plates and 6 of the 8 cheap glasses broke.

I have a couple of items of clothing for 'best' but only because they are dresses which would look ludicrous on the school run. None of my clothes are that precious that I'd be devastated if they were ruined though.

MumNWLondon · 19/07/2010 18:59

I think it depends on what this best stuff is used for and how often. Mad if once a year.

greenbananas · 19/07/2010 19:03

We don't keep things for 'best' - would rather enjoy them than keep them on a shelf gathering dust. got given some gorgeous wine glasses for a wedding present and loved using them, even knowing that they would be broken within a year (I am very clumsy). Now we have cheap supermarket wine glasses and it doesn't matter if they get broken.

FindingMyMojo · 19/07/2010 19:42

Another one not saving for best here! (My Mum, Nan etc did though).
We all took such delight in DD wearing her 'flower girl' shoes to playgroup, park & scooting today. They did their official duties very well - now the amount of joy DD gets from casual wearing of them is so fab.

Don't have any best china or cutlery.

I have a fav perfume I limit use of - to evenings out or days when I really wanto treat myself - but only as it is quite hard to find & expensive.
OH is banned from frying anything in my ScanPan, but that's not best, just proper use

mrsgboring · 19/07/2010 19:42

I have a few things that have sentimental value - my Grandma's bowl that she used to serve roast potatoes in, for one. The ironic thing is I very rarely get it out whereas she used it at least once a week, but when the children are older, it will come out more frequently.

MrsBadger · 19/07/2010 19:45

no best china / glass / cutlery chez badge

but I do keep one pair of unscuffed less scuffed shoes for parties
and I make sure the dc's nicest clothes get their first wear somewhere they will be appreciated before their inevitable downhill progression from party-best to grandparent-best to weekend-wear to nursery-wear...

PortBlacksand · 19/07/2010 19:51

vintage - Christmas Tree Spode? Me too - loads of it on every available piece of crockery you can imagine.

I also start at the beginning of December.

MerryMarigold · 19/07/2010 21:17

I think there's a connection with using lovely things for everyday - and the throwaway, materialistic culture we live in. I'm not sure what connection is...but I think there is one.

FellatioNelson · 19/07/2010 22:36

Totally agree! We bought a solid cherry wood table about ten years ago - it was a huge lifetime investment purchase for us at the time, and it's a completely beautiful, simple, timeless design masterpiece. But we are so paranoid about ruining it that every time we use it, it is covered in a heatproof protector then a huge table cloth. By the itme the chairs are put round it, it may as well be a bit of formica on some pine legs from Ikea! No-one sees it!

The other week we had people round and for the first time we just chucked the plates and dishes on it (we must have been a bit drunk TBH). There were a few greasy marks in the morning, but if we carry on in this vein it will eventually add character and history, and everyone can at elast SEE the blimmin' thing!

Druzhok · 19/07/2010 22:40

I would rather buy well and take care of it, but I have opted for the opposite approach whilst I've got young kids. I simply don't invest anymore, apart from a few work basics (trousers: I invest so I can wear them over and over again. And a bone china tea cup. Oh, and kitchenware: things the children can't break. But I'm not going to attempt to mix valuable breakables and young children.

I do have a cutlery set (wedding list), but it's out of use because it's such a stupid shape. DH and I had such different taste in cutlery, so ended up with an unwieldy compromise that neither of us liked. It comes out a few times a year. It is shiny, at least.

I suppose, to answer the OP, my house is open, I have a bit of decent crockery and cutlery that isn't shitted up on a day-to-day basis and I have some decent clothes that I keep away from my sticky fingered children. If I lived a tidier, quieter life, I'd have my nice stuff out every day.

Druzhok · 19/07/2010 22:43

Fellatio: we have a lovely oak table. It is getting increasing marked (food stains, scratches, scribble) and it's still lovely. But it IS a bit rough hewn, iykwim: it could be sanded a bit and waxed back up to its original state. Could the same be done to yours?

FellatioNelson · 19/07/2010 22:54

Yes, definitely it could, but so far that's not necessary. I'm of the opinion these days that things can look lived in and well used, but if they are good quality then the beauty will still shine through.

We do keep some cutlery and crockery for best, but only because I couldn't be doing with having to deal with losses and breakages. It would really bother me to have guests 1-7 with a plain white plate, and guest 8 with a blue stripey one. I'm anal like that. Having said that they do get used every few weeks or so, as we entertain quite alot, and I'm getting much less uptight about formality and matchiness as I get older.

moominmarvellous · 19/07/2010 23:09

DH and I were discussing how we'd like to get an extra set of crockery/cutlery when we move as we never have enough for more than 4 people and end up having to wash things between courses to re-use! In our defense storage is tight in our wee house!

My friends mother had a best room where we were forbidden to go well into our twenties. It had cream carpet, curtains and sofas and china dolls and stuff, and if we were granted access the rule was 'no naked cups!' Still have no idea how to 'dress' a cup of tea for use in a best room!:D

mamatomany · 19/07/2010 23:12

Oh how I'd love to be able to afford a house with an adult front room, my nan and grandpa had one in their house, I felt like the Queen when I was finally allowed in (without shoes, felt tips or food/drink)

FellatioNelson · 19/07/2010 23:15

I'm all for keeping things nice where possible and I have a 'best' room, but only beacuse I have enough space to do so. I wouldn't dream of wasting much-needed space on displaying pointless stuff, when most of the time the family is crammed into second-class accommodation! The china-dolls getting beter living conditions that the humans is madness.

ampere · 20/07/2010 09:34

Imagine having a house big enough that you could save a complete room for 'best'? Though of course, many families just squeezed into the rest of the house!

I only ever saw in amongst my mother's maiden aunts and, interestingly, in rural Australia where there can a be a bit of a 50s throwback feel- a best room where the curtains remain firmly closed 27/7 all year around except say Xmas- where we'd all troop out onto the pool deck for a barbie...

My mum wanted to buy us 'good' cutlery for a wedding present but thankfully we persuaded her a nice rug in the living room would actually be far more appreciated!

As for tarting up a table for High Days, I still use the white Ikea crockery but I dress the table with good quality disposable cloths and very washable napkins!

jobobpip08 · 20/07/2010 09:48

Definitely use it now! You don't know when your time isup - we've had deaths inthe family from 0 - 99 in every generation and we look at life differently now. Altho DH says spend for today it does cause a bit of a problem by payday .

We had Denby crockery on our wedding list 10 years ago and aside from the odd breakage it is still going strong, we use it daily and it goes in the dishwasher without fading. My mil bought us a canteen of cutlery on our engagement, even tho I had a half decent set which still looks good, the canteen only comes out at Xmas, I can't justify getting rid of my usual ones!

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/07/2010 09:53

My gran used to buy half a cow/sheep every winter and put it in the deep freeze.

She used to keep the steaks for 'best' and we ate the offal and crap cuts.

Steaks were in the deep freeze for years, never eaten.

Housemum · 20/07/2010 10:05

We have a mixture - the Wedgwood china is only used when friends come over, but more because it is better to hand wash it (the gold colour rim might go a bit discoloured in the dishwasher). However, the Wedgwood/Conran wine glasses get used every day more frequently as I would hand wash wine glasses anyway so we use and enjoy them

The everyday stuff is gradually becoming smarter, I've been buying some of the Villeroy and Boch plates in discount shops/sales and I let the kids use these when we are eating together - no breakages yet!

I have a dilemma over tables though - we are going to buy a new dining table for when our extension is done. I could buy a gorgeous oak table & 10 chairs for £2100, really good quality, smooth extending mechanism, comfortable chairs, weighs a ton. But it would be covered with plastic from morning till night as the youngest is only 2, and with her and the 7 year old both loving colouring/drawing/creating I could see accidental scratches happening very easily. The alternative is to buy the same size table/chairs from Ikea, not as stunning to look at, but only £650, with a view to selling it on/giving it away and buying a decent set in 5 or 6 years' time. Hmm.

Housemum · 20/07/2010 10:06

And what do you do with Christening presents? I have a box of Peter Rabbit stuff that was given to DD1 - I never used it for her, it just gets shoved from one side of the spare room to the other.

lifeas3plus1 · 20/07/2010 10:41

I don't think we actually own anything that we keep for best which I'm sure sounds quite sad actually.

We're not married so we haven't got any of the wedding crockery, cutlery etc.

We do have some nice wine glasses and tumblers but we use them as an every day thing.

I also have a gorgeous necklace which I've only worn once but that's because we don't go anywhere to wear it at the moment lol. I'm certainly not saving it for best. I can't wait to wear it again!

ChippingIn · 20/07/2010 10:47

Housemum - I'd buy the lovely table and use it - heat mats for really hot stuff etc, but just normal use - you can always sand it down in a few years time & re-oil it, it will come up fab. Don't buy it and cover it up