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For cancelling a BBQ due to the mother of all hangovers

79 replies

NeverDrinkingEverAgain · 18/07/2010 12:04

I am prepared for a flaming but I'm actually feeling very upset about it all.

I have recently got engaged. Friday night I had drinks planned with a few friends, and then Saturday a BBQ with a different set of friends.

As far as I knew, Friday was just a few drinks in town and I would get the train home, my friend even said she had booked a table in a bit of a grotty bar so I wasn't really expecting anything too much. When I got there they surprised me by taking me to a really swanky exclusive place and buying champagne to celebrate, which was really lovely (although I wish I'd known as I hadn't even really dressed up!). We got into the swing of things and ended up going somewhere else to dance. I drank a fair amount (about half a bottle of champagne and 3/4 of a bottle of white wine) before getting a taxi home. I was drunk, but I knew what I was doing and I remember the taxi journey.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling OK, a bit rough but not too bad. BBQ was starting a 2 so plenty of time to recover. However as the day wore on I started getting worse and worse, I was throwing up constantly and couldn't even keep down water. DP called them and said I was rough but to still come, however just after I collapsed on the bathroom floor and couldn't get up. My friends had already got on the tube so DP left message saying to call him ASAP as I was really awful and there was no way we could have people over. He got hold of them and explained, but at that point they were nearly here.

To make matters worse, one of my friends had to use a wheelchair yesterday so the journey wasn't that easy for her. I feel terrible I left it so late to cancel, but I was really looking forward to seeing them and just kept thinking I'd start to recover, until it really became apparent that just wasn't going to happen. They had a nice day at a park on the Southbank before heading home, but they are obviously really pissed off with me. My friend's DH wouldn't speak to me, and after I spoke to my female friends I sent them all a message apologising and explaining why I left it so late to cancel. Despite knowing they have read it, no one has replied. I've even sent them all gift boxes in the post to arrive tomorrow so I don't know what else I can do. It's really hurtful that they are not talking to me as I thought they would know me well enough to know that I would NEVER ordinarily do that, it must have been bad for me to let them down.

As a disclaimer, I had no reason to think I would be so ill. I was puking until 6pm and I could barely walk most of the day. Also had a weird rash all over my arms and chest. I have drunk way more on occassions and been fine the next day, I'm not usually an irresponsible drinker. I feel like a prize twat, but surely I have been punished enough. I've namechanged out of shame and embarrassment.

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 18/07/2010 13:46

Drinks were tested in a local bar here on an ordinary Saturday night and 70% of them were spiked .

They do think that people put GHB and Ketemine in their own drinks though as they are very popular drugs atm esp with under 25s.

I don't know expat as we will have to wait 15 or 20 years to see what the rate of people needing liver transplants is - I do know that when I do workshops with young people the teachers are always really shocked at how little alcohol a unit is and is does make them question their own relationship with alcohol.

I don't ever see how making people more aware of what they are doing to their bodies can be a bad thing?

NeverDrinkingEverAgain · 18/07/2010 13:48

beachtent I stopped him as I didn't want to make a fuss, he said he'd call if I was still as bad in the evening and although I was still being sick I was feeling better.

It does sound similar to your experience as well, as I started off the day as normal, OK I had a lie in til 9 but then I was up playing with DD. At around 11 I just started feeling a bit rough, then it got worse and worse.

Was it just a random thing then, i.e. a 'bad' bottle of wine, or did it always happen?

OP posts:
5DollarShake · 18/07/2010 13:49

I'm not saying it never happens!

Just that as Nancy says, it is often jumped on as an explanation when a much more rational one (that involves a certain amount of personal responsibility) makes much more sense.

expatinscotland · 18/07/2010 14:03

It's not as rare as you think, though, 5dollar.

My 16-year-old niece's bottle of water was spiked with GHB.

People sometimes use it instead of alcohol because then they don't consume as many calories, too .

It's apparently quite easy to make as well.

AlaskaNebraska · 18/07/2010 14:04

i dont give a toss
your bbq
do as you like

expatinscotland · 18/07/2010 14:05

I dunno, Never, but maybe invest in a SodaStream and stick to the soft stuff from now on .

DH used to drink every now and again, but the past two times he tried - on New Year's Eve and last month - he had about 3 pints and then threw up everywhere.

He thinks he's become more sensitive to it - he never was much of a drinker anyhow - so has decided it's best not to drink at all anymore.

expatinscotland · 18/07/2010 14:06

What a way to ring in the new year it was for me, too, because we were in bed and he sat up and puked all over hte bed, the wall, the corridor as he tried to make it to the bathroom.

So there I was, sober as a judge, with a mop and bucket at 2AM.

Happy New Year !

Booze is overrated.

BythewayItsStillMe · 18/07/2010 14:07

Fair enough, 5dollars! Point taken.

Lulumaam · 18/07/2010 14:10

it sounds more like you were unwell , whether it was a bug or food poisoning or a reaction teh alcohol

however, your friends would have presumed it was too much alcohol

am a little surprised they are now not speaking to you and you felt you needed to send them 'sorry' gifts.. they don't sound terribly forgiving

i'd be pissed off if a BBQ was cancelled at short notice due to a hangover, but for a good friend, i'd get over it !!

the fact you did not wake up feeling that bad and it happened as the day wore on suggests it was illness, not alcohol

there have been lots of vomiting bugs doing the rounds here

FWIW, drinking certain types of red wine brings me out in horrible hot blotches/rash and makes me feel ill.

i am sorry you felt so rotten and i hope your friends pull themselves together and get over it

Heartsease · 18/07/2010 14:12

Do you have any migraine history, OP? For me even a small amount of alcohol at the wrong time of the month can trigger migraine the next day with the kind of sickness you describe. It is definitely not a hangover, but is alcohol-related and occurs when a hangover would, if you see what I mean.

NeverDrinkingEverAgain · 18/07/2010 14:16

I have only had a migraine twice, in a short space of time about 5 years ago. I do frequently get the weird blurry vision thing when I can't see properly, lasts about 10 mins in the morning but no accompanying headache.

Just don't know, I guess I'll not know unless it happens again. Just tried to eat and the roof of my mouth has swollen up with big lumps where it is so sore Feeling very sorry for myself.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 18/07/2010 14:16

i have been sick though hangover though it's usually cured by forcing yourself to eat = nasty though

Heartsease · 18/07/2010 14:37

My migraines have been something which changed and developed over the years (they never used to make me sick). But as you say, it doesn't sound like that's a regular thing for you. It's a real shame this got trailed as a hangover, because it really doesn't sound like it is that. Try not to beat yourself up any more . Hope you feel better soon.

melikalikimaka · 18/07/2010 14:43

Put food in freezer? Arrange another date when you come back.

NeverDrinkingEverAgain · 18/07/2010 14:59

we only have an icebox at the top of our fridge which is full of dd's meals, so no room to freeze.

We will be eating burgers sausages and chicken for breakfast lunch and dinner for the next three days. Well DP will as at the moment I can't seem to swallow anything! Inviting over everyone we know to come and help us eat it, so far only one person is around today. Luckily he can eat a lot.

Had call from friend, she seems OK and concerned so there is a happy resolution. Think they have started to believe me.

OP posts:
beachtent · 18/07/2010 15:12

Neverdrinking glad your friend has been sympathetic - if other friends struggle, then get them to read this thread!

And no, my weird reaction to booze wasn't related to bad bottles or anything - like you, I'd share booze with people, they'd be fine the next day. Everyone thought I was a terrible lightweight! it lasted about a year, maybe a bit more, then slowly faded. Hope it doesn't happen again to you.

Sulphites can trigger migraines in people too - perhaps that's what happened?

Anyway, I hope you start feeling better soon. poor you! it sounds like you have no reason to feel ashamed though, just a bit of bad luck perhaps.

BeerTricksPotter · 18/07/2010 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ninah · 18/07/2010 16:24

great name beertricks
good for this thread too
hope your friends come round op

secunda · 18/07/2010 16:25

Long shot, but are you sure you don't have shingles?

I once went on a night out and had 2 cocktails, woke up at 4am puking. Thought it was from the alcohol (although that didn't really match up). Felt like shit, had a rash, which got worse. Was shingles.

traceybath · 18/07/2010 16:26

I went out a few weeks ago and had one small glass of wine - I felt utterly dreadful for the following 2 days.

I blame a 'dirty glass' which is what my mum always blames

Was perhaps an off bottle or that you did drink more than you thought - especially if people kept topping up your glass when you weren't looking.

Think your friends have rather over-reacted although travelling quite a way and getting such a late cancellation was probably rather irritating. I suppose it also depends if you have 'form' for being flakey about arrangements.

ifancyashandy · 18/07/2010 19:08

Where are you in your cycle? I don't drink every day, maybe once or twice a week (hides glass of rose and soda ) but I had half a bottle of red on Friday over dinner with my Dad. It was a 11% bottle and I drank a litre of water that evening as well.

Felt bloody dreadful yesterday. And started my period today.

Tolerance severely affected!

GeekOfTheWeek · 18/07/2010 19:13

If I drink a full bottle of red i am usually ok. If i have a bottle and a half I have a hangover similar to what you described in the op.

I would be really pissed off if i were one of the friends that you cancelled on.

AlaskaNebraska · 18/07/2010 19:23

TRACEY
was after you on twittère

whiteflame · 18/07/2010 19:50

Glad your friends are starting to come round Never. I am surprised so many people would be seriously pissed off at a hangover cancellation, assuming it wasn't a regular occurrence. Come on, surely most people have had a 'surprise' hangover... lighten up!

RunawayWife · 18/07/2010 20:08

I think you have had a reaction to something as that does not sound like a hang over.