For cancelling a BBQ due to the mother of all hangovers

[NeverDrinkingEverAgain]

I am prepared for a flaming but I'm actually feeling very upset about it all.

I have recently got engaged. Friday night I had drinks planned with a few friends, and then Saturday a BBQ with a different set of friends.

As far as I knew, Friday was just a few drinks in town and I would get the train home, my friend even said she had booked a table in a bit of a grotty bar so I wasn't really expecting anything too much. When I got there they surprised me by taking me to a really swanky exclusive place and buying champagne to celebrate, which was really lovely (although I wish I'd known as I hadn't even really dressed up!). We got into the swing of things and ended up going somewhere else to dance. I drank a fair amount (about half a bottle of champagne and 3/4 of a bottle of white wine) before getting a taxi home. I was drunk, but I knew what I was doing and I remember the taxi journey.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling OK, a bit rough but not too bad. BBQ was starting a 2 so plenty of time to recover. However as the day wore on I started getting worse and worse, I was throwing up constantly and couldn't even keep down water. DP called them and said I was rough but to still come, however just after I collapsed on the bathroom floor and couldn't get up. My friends had already got on the tube so DP left message saying to call him ASAP as I was really awful and there was no way we could have people over. He got hold of them and explained, but at that point they were nearly here.

To make matters worse, one of my friends had to use a wheelchair yesterday so the journey wasn't that easy for her. I feel terrible I left it so late to cancel, but I was really looking forward to seeing them and just kept thinking I'd start to recover, until it really became apparent that just wasn't going to happen. They had a nice day at a park on the Southbank before heading home, but they are obviously really pissed off with me. My friend's DH wouldn't speak to me, and after I spoke to my female friends I sent them all a message apologising and explaining why I left it so late to cancel. Despite knowing they have read it, no one has replied. I've even sent them all gift boxes in the post to arrive tomorrow so I don't know what else I can do. It's really hurtful that they are not talking to me as I thought they would know me well enough to know that I would NEVER ordinarily do that, it must have been bad for me to let them down.

As a disclaimer, I had no reason to think I would be so ill. I was puking until 6pm and I could barely walk most of the day. Also had a weird rash all over my arms and chest. I have drunk way more on occassions and been fine the next day, I'm not usually an irresponsible drinker. I feel like a prize twat, but surely I have been punished enough. I've namechanged out of shame and embarrassment.

BeerTricks that's exactly how I don't want my friends to feel - Friday night was heavier than I expected, but I was SO looking forward to the BBQ and really didn't want to cancel. It makes me to think they feel they are not as important.

Everyone else on Friday drank exactly the same as me (actually I think more as I went home first) and are all completely fine.

I had been wondering about an allergic reaction, although I've never had a hint of it before.

Sadly, I don't normally drink champagne though, so perhaps it was something to do with that? It was very expensive nice stuff though.

Oh and sorry LadyAnonymous highly doubtful I'm pregnant.

I am really surprised people are jumping to the 'spiked drink' conclusion. This happens very rarely - and anyway, why on earth would someone throw something dodgy into someone's drink just for the hell of it? Seriously - where do people go out and drink where this happens...?

It does sound far more likely to be a bug or something you ate.

Likewise, I'd call everyone rather than text at this point. If they keep holding a grudge, then they're being precious.

As for units - no, they're clearly not made-up, but as a guideline, they're worthless, since hardly anyone (except, really, experts in the field, which says it all) knows definitively what one unit is. It isn't one drink, for example; it's part of a drink, and depending on the drink you choose - beer, wine, spirit, etc, it will amount to a different amount of that drink.

So in that sense, they are 'shite', since if you don't know exactly what one is, how can you be sure you're adhering correctly? And given that people can't don't follow them, they've done exactly nothing to counter our drinking culture, so yes, again, they are shite.

Oh, Lady, get off your high horse! All this educating young people is doing nothing. The problem is getting worse. People are getting younger and younger when they start drinking and drinking more and more. They need a fat stick at them. Raise the minimum price, revoke 24 hour licensing, raise the drinking age, prosecute and fine heavily: people who sell or purchase alcohol to or for minors, people who are publicly intoxicated, people who commit crimes or pose a public nuisance whilst intoxicated.

Break up house parties (last month, it was revealed that 15 out of 19 murders in 3 months in Strathclyde took place at or near drink-fuelled house parties) by arresting the hosts. Not telling them to turn the music down. Bust up the party when neighbours ring to complain and haul off the host and anyone there who is found arguing and acting ghetto past 11PM.

Everyone knows fags are bad for you.

People are quitting more, however, because of high costs and bans.

Start doing it with booze, too.

Then we don't need to waste money on all this 'educating' softly-softly twaddle about being sensible or waste money on research to tell us that downing a bottle of Buckfast a day is bad for you. Duh!

It'll become abundantly clear that if you're not personally responsible for how you act whilst drunk, the state will be happy to show you the consequence of that.

5dollar, it's actually, sadly, quite common for people to spike even friends drinks for the hell of it, as a practical joke.

And most popularly, for men to do it to male friends.

Pitiful, but more common than you'd think.

Still, OP is right, chances are she'd have some memory loss if that were the case and she hasn't had that.

I'm really sorry for you actually. My friends would've privately rolled their eyes and had a bitch about me for 2 mins but would have been totally forgiving and understanding when I texted/called. You don't do this normally. It is v extreme to cancel a bbq like this, which surely proves how bad you were feeling.

DH had a drink spiked at our wedding it left him with an ahem embarrassing problem for 5 days.

Expat - what do you mean by spike, in that case - throwing a shot of vodka into a pint of beer? Or putting some sort of drug into the drink?

I have a long and glorious history of drinking in bars and pubs (not now, as am pg with DC2 ) and I have never encountered this. [/sheltered]

expatinscotland You are talking out of your backside. If it was all that simple, we wouldn't have a problem would we?

I am not some kind of "do gooder" twat who has spent 6 years of my life doing a job which is completely pointless .

We go into schools and we get young people to pour out a unit of spirits, beer, wine etc.

They do know what a unit is and they do know exactly what it does once it is inside their body.

They know that they are responsible for their own actions and the consequences of them.

My work is not fucking twaddle and you are ignorant and rude to suggest it is when you clearly know jack shit about what is going on is schools to educate young people - and the biggest problem we have is the bloody uneducated parents who buy the alcohol and fags for them in the first place.

Spiked as in drugs, 5Dollar.

Okay, Lady, whatever.

It's my opinion.

You don't agree or like it.

Okay.

Not bothered.

borderslass someone spiked your DH drink at your wedding?

Any idea who it was? That's truly awful.

Oh and BTW - I did call them all as a fist point of contact, after DP had already spoken to them all - I sent the message later on as I didn't want to harrass them.

Not all budget cuts are bad .

no he was too embarrassed to mention it.

Could you tell us, borderlass ?

I wondered how long before somebody suggested a 'spiked drink' which happens every single time somebody comes on MN and feels rough after getting pissed.

Drink spiking is VERY rare.

Most people that believe their drinks were spiked are simply refusing to take responsibility for their drinking.

OP i think you simply drank more than you think - drunk people always do.

I understand you not wanting to play hostess but I understand your friends being massively pissed off too..I would be

Thats really fucking hilarious - to joke about people losing their jobs "expatinscotland* very poor taste .

People do it as a joke, though, Never, to their own friends (spike their drinks with drugs, that is).

There was this big article about in The Sunday Times a few months back, about how people do it to each other as joke to see their friend make a fool out of himself/herself.

OP - I used to have something very similar after drinking white wine. There are sulphites in white wine, and even more in champagne, that can cause severe allergies (including puking and rashes) in people. When I was in my early 20s and away travelling, all I had to do was have one lousy drink and I'd be projectile vomiting the next day. But I'd always wake up feeling fine, then by about midday it would kick in. Sounds pretty similar to your experience. It may be the sulphites, or it could be an inner ear infection - some years after this horrible effect passed, i was chatting to someone about it who said they'd had the same thing, apparently an inner ear infection that specifically effects women can cause severe alcohol sensitivity. I never looked in to it further since it went away, but if it happens again, perhaps you should?

And what stopped you from calling a doctor?

Nancy66 - that's what I thought too, but apparently it's not rare at all...

Ladyanonymous - are you saying that people monitoring their daily and weekly unit allowance is working on a general level nationally, then?

5dollarshake - it is. As backed by the police and emergency services. Study after study has shown it is largely an urban myth.

But Nancy, it doesn't really sound like the OP has a hangover.

Sounds like she's ill, or was ill, with something else.

Of course, if she never drinks again all the better because then if she falls ill like this, she'll know it wasn't from drink .

Well said expat, I totally agree that consequences need to be much tougher for people who can't drink sensibly. The law needs to be changed drastically.

5dollar, my Mum had her drink spiked on a quiet night out with her sister for her 40th birthday. Just the two of them, went for a meal and then to a couple of pubs, not even big clubs. Someone spiked her drink and then left my aunty to deal with the consequences.
They'd come down to visit me in London, my aunty had never been on a night out in London before, DH had to go and find them after a phonecall from my aunty, sobbing, didn't have a clue where she was, and trying to deal with my mum.
Some idiot just got a kick out of watching her suffer.
It does happen.

Sorry for the hijack NeverDrinking!

Nancy66 It wasn't a case of not wanting to 'play hostess', I physically couldn't stand up and was constantly puking so I wouldn't have been able to.

I'm fairly sure of what we drank as I know how much we had in each bar (they were all bottles) and I've had it corroborated with my friends. Perhaps for some reason my body just couldn't handle it the way it normally would. I don't normally drink champagne so perhaps I just can't cope with it. I have never ever had a day like yesterday before though.

And I have never said I thought my drink was spiked - I said I'm pretty sure it wasn't.