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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at "trampoline" woman at a fete

66 replies

springchik · 17/07/2010 20:54

We went to a fete this afternoon. There was some trampolines which my boys wanted to go on. Anyway as my 2.8 year old was going up the steps to the trampolines he kicked over a slush puppy drink that was on the top step. I apoligised and the woman who had taken my money said that thats all right it was my daughters shes only just bought it and it cost her £1.50. Child looked around 10. She said it very sarcasticly and looked like she was fuming. Anyway ds1 came off first so I took him off and helped with his shoes and a minute later ds2 was called so i turned to dh and said I'd fetch him off he wont come off otherwise you know what he's like. At which point the woman turned to me and said oh yes I know what hes like he knocks over childrens drinks again looking annoyed!

He is 2 and the drink in question was on the top step leading up to the trampolines!

OP posts:

genieinabottle · 17/07/2010 22:55

I would have apologised as you did but wouldn't have offered to replace it. Actually i might have made a comment back to her after her second snotty comment.

If this lady was in charge of the trampoline, she should have been more safety conscious anyway.
Your DS (or another child) could have slipped over the liquid, tumbled down the steps, knocked over another child in the process,... i know i'm streching things a bit now
But still the drink shouldn't have been there in the fisrt place.

YANBU.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 17/07/2010 22:58

OP: "She had already established his age because I had to go up with him to make sure he was ok etc"

Then didn't you notice there was a drink on the top step? Could you not have said to your DS "Be careful of that drink?" or asked the woman to move the drink while your son got past?

bosch · 17/07/2010 23:02

Inclined to agree with you OP that the trampoline woman was being unreasonable. Seeing it from her side, she had shelled out £1.50 on a drink for her daughter and maybe couldn't afford to buy her another.

If it was me, I'd be mad at myself but I couldn't imagine making the comment she made as you went to get your son off.

I think she probably knew that the drink should never have been on the steps in the first place but couldn't see past her annoyance at the waste of money to see that it wasn't your son's, or your, fault that the drink got spilt.

confuddledDOTcom · 17/07/2010 23:06

Was she trying to cause an accident? I wouldn't have apologised I'd have asked what she was playing at leaving it there in place where children are going to be clambering over it and could get injured on it!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 17/07/2010 23:20

Injured?!?! Are slush puppies these days made with shards of glass, then?

I'm starting to get annoyed at some of the replies to this thread. Sadly there really does appear to be a blame culture that runs through our society. It's always someone else's fault, isn't it?

And now this daft talk of "injuries"!!!! The next thing, people will be replying to say that it was a healthy and safety issue (damn, someone already has ) And what if the drink HAD gone on the OP's child - should the OP be pressing charges?!

FGS, you knocked her drink over, you offer to replace it! Simple......Don't say "Well, it shouldn't have been there." Take some responsibility for your actions, people!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 17/07/2010 23:23

[flounces off to bed muttering to self about "people today...."]

Laughing at myself really, but I really DO stand by everything I've said.

ps I'm NOT the woman on the trampoline.

bosch · 17/07/2010 23:33

Trampoline lady wasn't really thinking about what made good sense when she let her daughter leave a drink on the stairs of the trampoline.

Heck, kids aren't allowed to leave their shoes on the steps of the trampoline. It's not blame culture, it's just that someone might slip on a shoe and get hurt. That's just good old fashioned common sense.

If someone else does something a bit silly (like leaving a drink it a place where people walk) then they should expect that there's at least a small chance that it will get knocked over and live with it. Yes, it's very English to apologise if you do something that's 'not your fault' but it's not unreasonable to NOT apologise for your child when they do something that in all reasonableness (is that a real word?) is not their fault.

confuddledDOTcom · 17/07/2010 23:35

Last time I looked Slush Puppies were made of ice and liquid. What do you think's going to happen when those are spilt on steps???

If a child hadn't knocked it over, she or her child could have. Common sense tells you you don't leave liquids or ice on steps!

Firawla · 17/07/2010 23:39

its polite to offer to replace but maybe OP would have if the lady was polite herself when she apologised, not getting a sarcastic attitude. personally if they gave a rude reply then no chance, if they were nice and just looked disappointed then give them the 1.50
if they are rude why should you??

FallingWithStyle · 17/07/2010 23:43

She sounds very rude.
I think I would have offered to replace the drink and suggested that there are more suitable places to put a cup.

ItsGraceActually · 18/07/2010 02:53

The lady was unduly stroppy but you should have offered to replace the drink. Some people act stroppy when they feel awkward - she could hardly say "Please buy her another one, I can't leave my post / afford another" could she?

Perhaps if she'd been more gracious, that would have prompted you to get a fresh drink for her daughter. But it's BVU to act ungraciously just coz she did!

This was a local fete type of thing, right? So would the woman have been a volunteer?

muminthemiddle · 18/07/2010 09:24

Ypu should have offered to buy another drink.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 18/07/2010 16:28

Actually, people in the rest of the UK apologise when it's not their fault as well. It's a British thing...

HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/07/2010 17:17

Yes, it's a little social dance we do, designed to make rubbing along together that little bit less difficult.

You can see the damage that is being done to society generally now that these little things are no longer done by everyone.

Selfish. me me me. What's in it for me. Everyone should dance to my tune. I matter and those around me don't. People should treat me well but I don't have to treat them well. People should get out of my way. Things should always go my way. Nothing is ever my fault. If I want something, I should get it. If I can't get it nicely I have the right to take it...

Ok. erm. There's a slight chance this is one of my soapbox subjects.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 18/07/2010 18:29

Blimey, Hecate, don't go holding back now!

(I actually agree with you..)

HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/07/2010 18:34

ifancyashandy · 18/07/2010 18:42

Agree with Hectate and yup, you should have offered to replace it. She was snotty but I'd have wanted to kill with kindness.

RunawayWife · 18/07/2010 18:51

Drink should not have been there, you should have told her to trundle back to her caravan get another £1.50 and get another food colouring, sugar and E numbers beverage for her child

piratecat · 18/07/2010 18:55

stupid place to put a drink, and she knew it.

forget it.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 18/07/2010 19:49

Round of applause for Hecate!

maisie - "people in the rest of the UK apologise when it's not their fault as well". But it WAS the OP's fault, that's the problem here - her son knocked the drink over. End of.....

Caravan?!

I thought this was a fete, she was no doubt a volunteer, giving her time up for free, and probably had no other place to put her daughter's drink than on a step.

I wonder whether the people who think "forget it, the drink shouldn't have been there" are a lot younger than the ones who think that the OP should have offered to replace it? I also wonder whether the ones who think that the trampoline woman is at fault would also try to get compensation from their local council if they didn't look where they were going and tripped on a wonky paving stone......

Bloody compensation culture.......this is what you get - poor volunteers at a fete getting blamed for having their own drink knocked over by a toddler whose parent wasn't supervising closely enough.

bah humbug......

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 18/07/2010 19:58

No, I meant that it's not just a English thing - someone earlier was talking about apologies being something that English people do. Anyway, whether or not it's her fault, her child knocked it over, it's manners to apologise and offer to replace it.

MrsC2010 · 18/07/2010 20:00

By my reading the second rude comment came after your child had had their go on the trampoline, meaning it was very obvious you weren't going to replace the drink.

I genuinely can't believe anyone would knock over someone else's drink and not offer to replace it automatically...how rude!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 18/07/2010 20:03

And, thinking further about this.......the trampoline woman presumably made her snotty comment because the OP just said "Whoops, sorry" not "Whoops, sorry - let me buy you another one." I bet the latter would have got a completely different response.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 18/07/2010 20:05

Those who think she shouldn't have offered to replace the drink.....if you knocked someone's drink over in a pub as you brushed past their table, would you not offer to replace it, then, on the grounds that it must have been too near the edge of the table?

CreepyFunbags · 18/07/2010 20:22

I think it was very rude not to offer to buy a replacement drink.

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