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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to hate the use of the word c**t as an abusive term?

91 replies

singsinthebath · 17/07/2010 00:16

I don't have a problem with swearing - I've only used asterisks as I'm aware that some people prefer not to have the word cunt in a subject headline.

I have no problem with someone referring to their vagina/vulva as their cunt if they so wish. (I'd probably go for a euphemism - but each to their own)

But I do have a problem with someone suggesting that an abusive husband or partner is "being a cunt" (as I read in a post earlier). This is derogatory - suggesting that the female genitalia is base or sordid.

AIBU or am I overthinking this?

OP posts:
YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 17/07/2010 09:58

I concur

What a lovely bunch of cunts we are.

DDDixon · 17/07/2010 10:03

I should have typed "can't deal with c*ntfrontation" in my earlier post but as I can't bring myself to type the word in full the joke is a bit lost

electra · 17/07/2010 10:05

YANBU - it's misogynist.

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2010 10:06

Both male and female genitalia are used regularly in swearing, aren't they?

Dickhead, knobhead, bollockhead (ok, so maybe not that one but you get my drift.)

I don't think it's exclusively female genitalia.

mistressploppy · 17/07/2010 10:12

Yes Winky, but it seems that the female ones are consistently felt to be 'worse'. I did a survey on it at Uni!

secunda · 17/07/2010 10:16

I don't think it is particularly misogynistic, as most swear words are male-related: cock, prick, dickhead, wanker, bollocks, etc.

TechLovingDad · 17/07/2010 10:19

I love all swear words. I see the objection, to cunt, regarding perceived misogyny (spelling?) but disagree slightly.

Perhaps because cunt has been so over used, to me, calling someone a prick is just as bad. Prick seems to imply a certain limpness in the target, as well as the different intonations of it. Also, the worst insult isn't cunt, it's nonce as a nonce is a sex offender / paedophile.

It's all in the delivery, anyway. The best insult I ever heard was from a teenage girl, to a railway station attendant. Girl was in the wrong but her delivery of "ya, priiiiiiick" and her indingnant walk away, was solid gold. Even the attendant chuckled.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 17/07/2010 10:30

I think it's misogynist because it is the worst swear word. The absolute worst thing you can be is the female genitals. I loathe hearing it, and for some bizarre reason it actually makes me feel rather vulnerable. Maybe because I've only ever heard it used in an aggressive way, and usually by men. Prick just doesn't have the same level of venom behind it, IMO.

Malificence · 17/07/2010 10:32

It's a vile word, used by vile people imho.

If I heard someone I know using it I would be very unhappy with them, I'd certainly lose all respect for them.

There is no need for such vile language, it shows a general lack of respect for the people around you, I don't swear in everyday life, neither does DH - he hates that particular word as much as I do.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 17/07/2010 10:32

Oh, and as for the MN royalty thing, if it is self appointed....fuck it, give me my crown!

TechLovingDad · 17/07/2010 12:40

Surely the worst thing you can be is a paedophile, not the female genitals?

NetworkGuy · 17/07/2010 13:08

Interested / shocked to find it a term of endearment in some parts.

Personally would not use it, though sometimes I'd switch from twit to twat if someone had been a massive nuisance... I am unhappy hearing it spoken by a man, especially if in earshot of any woman.

However, to find it used by women is worse, in my view, and fairly rare (except on MN, when it is so often unnecessary - someone writing about "cunting Sainsburys" just baffles me).

"so many words for their penis they never have any ambiguity as to what they are referring to or potential vulgarity associated"

Well, cock, dick or prick are often used and (from man to man, at least) usually as an insult.

"it seems that the female ones are consistently felt to be 'worse'"

I suppose that comes partly down to context.

I'd have thought that "bitch" and "cow" were still more commonly used by men when insulting women, while using "cunt" and "pussy" (along with prick, cocksucker, motherfucker and knobhead etc) for insulting men.

I remember speaking to someone at an estate agents and in the background two (young?) women were discussing someone. Quite surprised me to hear one call him a "dickhead" (was about 20 years ago, when teenagers probably didn't swear quite as much, and TV shows carried less swearing, I assume).

Incidentally, has "pussy" lost its place as an insult ? Seems to be used more on TV and comparable in its "acceptance" (in terms of inclusion by a channel) as if someone was saying something as innocent as "wimp".

It seems to me that male or female terms are used to insult men, where there's not quite the same parallel for women, or am I just living a sheltered life ? (Maybe I should do a pub crawl some Friday and Saturday nights to find out what 20-somethings say about each other.)

BeerTricksPotter · 17/07/2010 13:22

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Message withdrawn

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 17/07/2010 13:26

I find it hard to get so offended by language. Swearing is just an emphasis to speech. Certain words have negative historical connotations and therefore should not be used flippantly, but everything else is just noise.

I liked tim minchin's take on it all, when he talked about how f**k is used so often to denote the word fuck, that actually it is in itself the word fuck. It isn't disguised by the asterisk, if anything it is enhanced.

You can only be offended by a swear word if you choose to find the word offensive.

That's not to say I wouldn't be offended if someone swore at me in anger, but it would be the sentiment I would be offended by and not the word. So I wouldn't be offended if someone said "hello crunchy, you old cunt you!", but I would be if someone said "shut the hell up, crunchy, you cunt!" in anger.

mistressploppy · 17/07/2010 13:32

Normally I hate Stephen Pinker but www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/11/freedom-8217-s-curse/7046/this is quite good

dittany · 17/07/2010 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistressploppy · 17/07/2010 13:36

oops

dittany · 17/07/2010 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Easywriter · 17/07/2010 13:50

I like cunt.

I think it should be used to excess to rid it of it's power as "the worst swear word".

I wouldn't mind so much if dick were equally bad.
Why does the worst one have to refer to female genitalia.

I claim cunt back.
Use it all you can.
(Within reason peeps!)

tethersend · 17/07/2010 13:57

"Why does the worst one have to refer to female genitalia."

'Cunt' is the best word to describe a bad thing. 'Cunt' is a better and more powerful word than male genitalia.

I am quite proud of the fact that it is the most offensive word.

dittany · 17/07/2010 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rubbersoul · 17/07/2010 14:08

I don't use it. It is the one word that can cause soooo much offence amongst women. I do swear but never use this word.

Out of interest, why is the word
'twat' seen as being less offensive?

nickelbabe · 17/07/2010 14:16

you are unreasonable, you knwo.

it's a most fantastic swearword and term of abusive.

i'm with David Baddiel that it should never be used to describe women's bits, but only as a term of abuse

NetworkGuy · 17/07/2010 14:17

re 'twat' - perhaps because for some it is synonymous with 'twit' - eg David Cameron in a radio studio, completely unaware that he had strongly offended lots of people outside the South East.

dittany · 17/07/2010 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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