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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have expected more than a cd (which I do like) for my 30th birthday from my dh???

64 replies

samoa · 16/07/2010 08:50

That is it really. I mean it was my 30th birthday!!!!!!!

OP posts:
samoa · 16/07/2010 14:14

camdancer I thanked him because I did not want him to feel bad. We have been fighting a lot lately and I did not want to cause any problems. I mean I did not want to fight about this.

OP posts:
upahill · 16/07/2010 17:01

Samoa All you have done is give mixed messages out! You thought your birthday was rubbish and to be honest it doesn't sound that great and you say thanks for a great birthday! No wonder men get confused and say they don't kknow what women want!!

agedknees · 16/07/2010 17:50

Are you sure he has not got a surprise sorted out for the weekend (maybe he could not get time off on your birthday).

hairytriangle · 16/07/2010 17:53

It's not really very gracious to EXPECT anything!

PuppyMonkey · 16/07/2010 18:03

It's not very gracious to GIVE bugger all and/or not make a bit of a fuss for a special birthday either...

superv1xen · 16/07/2010 18:10

I am sorry OP but that is just mean of your DH!

I turned 30 recently and dp arranged childcare for the kids and took me away for the weekend to a posh spa hotel; when we got there he had arranged for the room to be filled with flowers and a bottle of champagne put in there, he also paid for me to have a massage and we had dinner with more champagne...it was amazing sigh

he also bought me diamond earrings.

i think 30 is a big deal, in fact, i think any birthday deserves far more than a CD.

and fair enough if its a money issue, but there are lots of thoughtful things he could have done that doesnt cost money, ie cooked a lovely romantic meal at home or something.

upahill · 16/07/2010 18:34

I agree with you PuppyMonkey!
A cd is what you buy a mate It is not a great birthday present for your wife!(Exception being that it is an extra present or you are totaly stony and have no money at all)

PuppyMonkey · 16/07/2010 18:49

I think it would have been a fine enough present if it also been accompanied by a bit of warmth and fuss and special attention and stuff. Think that's what the OP is most narked about tbh.

samoa · 16/07/2010 19:13

Yes u are right PuppyMonkey I would have liked some fuss made! I don't think he has anything planned for me for the weekend. And even if he did he has ruined it by having a massive go at me last night about stupidities!

OP posts:
CoraBear · 16/07/2010 19:55

My 30th birthday was in May and my DP has some form in getting really dodgy gifts, for my last 2 birthdays he has brought me to a shopping centre to "pick something". This would have been great if he was a multi millionaire but we're pretty strapped for cash. My 30th present was amazing but I had told him I was gonna be upset if he didn't pick something for me.

Anniversaries have a £20 limit and we cook a meal at home. One year he bought me 20 quids worth of gossip magazines, it was a brilliant present and I loved it. Thought put into a present is worth so much. Clearly the OP's husband put no effort into it. I would kill him. Or give him some envelopes for his birthday, something dull.

CreepyFunbags · 16/07/2010 20:58

I can't remember what DH got for my 30th, but a cd is pretty rubbish OP.

WidowWadman · 16/07/2010 21:15

My husband got me a swingball kit for my 30th, which I found lovely. And was all our budget allowed.

This year he got me a dry stone walling course, but we're better off than last year.

The value of a present has nowt to do with what it costs, but how much thought went into it.

crabwoman · 16/07/2010 21:18

A CD is a bit shit, the kind of gift i get my mates. Gifts don't have to be expensive, but there should be some thought behind them. I can understand why your a bit 'hmmmm'

The worst present i recieved off DP was a brown dressing gown.
Was gutted for a number of reasons. My birthday was a day after my cousins PERFECT wedding, which was yet another family function he wasn't able to attend due to work - so i got a whole weekend of my grandma tutting and my family teasing me about my 'imaginary partner'.

Then i got home to be given said gown by DP only for him to fall asleep exhausted on the sofa. I made myself beans on toast and went to bed crying.

I was larger at the time, so i think it reinforced how frumpy i was feeling - he told me he brought it in brown 'so it wouldn't stain if i dropped chocolate down it'!! (He wasn't being mean just clueless)

Think what made it worse was that i knew the poor sod had probably deliberated over it for ages, we were broke but I honestly would have been happier with some sparkly earrings from river island for half the price!

In the end we had a long chat about work/life balance and sorted a few issues out, so it might have been a blessing in (brown furry) disguise!!

I do make a fuss over birthdays, nothing expensive, just a small gift and a fun day out. We both work so pissing hard, its just nice to celebrate that person for a day.

lostinwales · 16/07/2010 21:28

The day after my 30th birthday DH gave me a card that he'd bought but forgotten to give me , it was still in the wrapper, unsigned.

It was one of those 'I hope you like the card 'cos it's your present too' ones.

Sob

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