letting a 3mo cry

[5MoreMinutesPlease]

went to see a cranial osteopath today who told me when my sons colic gets awful in the evening, to place him on his tummy and leave him on his own on his tummy for 20 minutes with the door shut to cry. she said crying is good for his wind and i'm doing him no favours picking him up.

this just seems wrong to me. i don't know what else to do and have made an appt with another osteopath but i don't think i can do what she says. whats the consensus on here?
i'm at breaking point, want to walk out the door and not come back but this just seems wrong.
or is it just me???

The coughing you're describing is a silent reflux/reflux symptom.

Might be worth a trip to your GP rather than another osteopath, you could try Gaviscon for a week or two and see if there is any improvement?

5more, hang on in there, you're not alone. Your Osteopath is mad as a box of frogs, don't listen to her about the leaving baby to cry. why would anyone advise you to leave a teeny tiny baby who is obviously in pain, to cry??

both mine have had terrible colic (ds reflux too) and it can literally drive you to tears. keep up the constant use of infacol as it builds up in the system, also try rooibos tea (you drink it) which is apparently v good for colic. Both these seemed to help for me. I won't advise you to put your baby to sleep on her tummy, but this is what I did and it worked for me. both have slept through from an early age - ds who is 6 months now slept through from about 12 weeks.

I'm afraid that there's nothing you can do to entirely avoid the patting(my arms were knackered), screaming and writhing, but I promise it does mget better. Please don't feel that you're doing the wrong things/it's your fault. Many of us have sat hours into the night in those early days holding our babies upright because of colic and reflux.

5more, mine got worse before it got better, don't despair. colic is very mild now but reflux still there. In the early days we took it in turns to hold ds for hours

We were told to put DS1 on his tummy for 20 mins or so while we were with him to try to "squeeze out" trapped air. This worked with him but he didn't have colic. I absolutely would not have left him alone on his tummy though...........

Without a doubt it is reflux, go to your GP tomorrow and ask for infant gaviscon. You can give it and bf, I used to mix it with a little distilled water and give it on a spoon/in a syringe when my baby was open mouthed for a feed. And get a swing, it's upright and they will sleep even if it's for a couple of hours.

It may take a few days for the Gaviscon to work but you can go up the meds if it doesn't help too much, so the next reduces acid, the next reduces genral volume of fluid in the tummy and so on.

Finding out my baby had reflux seriously changed our lives.

DwayneDibbley, Leaving a baby alone, in pain, screaming at three months old, is not the same as CC.
I did cc, but would have never left dd to cry a) for that length of time b) at that young an age and c) if she was in pain.

well then i agree! Great name btw

it might not be reflux though. i tried gaviscon on ds who also had those symptoms - and i have several adult relatives with reflux - but it made no different at all.

not saying don't try it, but don't be downcast if it doesn't work.

it does pass, but for ds it was gradual rather than sudden improvement. it is so upsetting to see a small baby in distress and we are designed to feel like that. nerve shredding.

Dr harvey karp-baby bliss was very useful for us for settling DD when she was bad.

• Swaddling - Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support the fetus experienced while still in Mom's womb.

• Side/stomach position - You place your baby, while holding her, either on her left side to assist in digestion, or on her stomach to provide reassuring support. Once your baby is happily asleep, you can safely put her in her crib, on her back.

• Shushing Sounds - These sounds imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb. This white noise can be in the form of a vacuum cleaner, a hair dryer, a fan and so on. The good news is that you can easily save the motors on your household appliances and get a white noise CD which can be played over and over again with no worries.

• Swinging - Newborns are used to the swinging motions that were present when they were still in Mom's womb. Every step mom took, every movement caused a swinging motion for your baby. After your baby is born, this calming motion, which was so comforting and familiar, is abruptly taken away. Your baby misses the motion and has a difficult time getting used to it not being there. "It's disorienting and unnatural," says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.

• Sucking - "Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system," notes Karp, "and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain." This "S" can be accomplished with breast, bottle, pacifier or even a finger.

The sawddling didn't work past 2 months but the rest did. Especially loud shushing and swinging

SIBU

Lots of good advice here, and remember TTSP!

Lots of suggestions on this thread. It is worth giving any that seem remotely likely a go. Colic is a symptom (IMO) rather than a condition in itself. This means that babies are different and what doesnt work for one does work for another. Also this will explain why it lasts longer for some babies than others.

Another thing which also helped a bit for DD1 was when I was changing her I would move her legs up and down mimicing the colic kicking. Not sure if it did any good but I would sing to her at the same time which I think helped us both!

Lots of nonesense is spouted by some health care professionals which I remember making me feel totally inadequate. Most of the problem comes from them seldom seeing a full on colic attack.

My friend's baby was like this for weeks and a position that helped was to lie her face down along your arm (so her face would be poking over your elbow) and gently move her from side to side while patting her back. This way she was face down which helped and had the warmth of your hand on her stomach.

There are no magic answers, but if it helps your sanity, try some of the above recommendations. Clearly some work for some babies. I have had two colicy babies and it did stop suddenly at 13 and 16 weeks respectively. I confess that I did have the occasional 2/3 minutes when I had to put baby down and walk away into another room, but would never ever have left them for 20 minutes. They were at their least awful when cuddled, rocked and walked around the house when it was happening. (Now nearly 2 and 7 months respectively, they turned into happy, smiling and joyful children very quickly, so keep that in mind!)

If gaviscon doesn't work it doesn't mean it'snot reflux, fishie (it didn't with ds, and it was definitely reflux - confirmed with a ph probe). There are other meds that can help.

DD2 had both colic and reflux so i totally sympathise, we had some very dark times during the first 8 months of her life but she is 1 now and an utter joy... i never thought we would get here but at around 8 or 9 months she just changed.

My DD did the whole screaming thing in the evening and then from about 3 months got worse and was doing the following:

regular posseting v curdled milk
screaming (and i mean high pitched awful cry different from other cries like hunger, tired) an hour or so after feeding, arching, going rigid in a straight line, throwing head back some days crying all day
awful sleeper, woke every hour or so through the night till 8 months
fussy feeder bobbed on and off and would only feed for v short amount of time
from v young age (like weeks old) wanting to push upright on her feet

Get your DS checked for reflux, i found my GP was reluctant to prescribe anything other than gaviscon so we were referred to rapid access paediatric clinic in the end and tried Ranitidine and then Omeprazole which she took till she was 1.

I found none of the off the shelf remedies did anything for the colic to be honest.

We found this advice from Dr Harvey Karp helped a litle bit with the colic (all stuff you have prob tried)
this

Just remember this will pass.

PS YANBU to ignore the osteo's advice, i would never leave a 3 month old to cry for 20 mins, in fact i don't think i would leave a child of any age to cry that young.

I did however let DD2 sleep on her tummy from 12 weeks to try and help the reflux as she would not sleep on her back.