to think that if brides want bridesmaids to wear matching hideous ivory shoes, you should pay for them.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

There is another thread about bridesmaid shoe madness in active convos which made me remember seething resentment which I still have (madly 10 years on) about having to pay £60 for ivory silk high heeled boots with LACES (such a vile specimen of shoe has never again been seen) as all 6 bridesmaids had to have the same shoe.

WHY the same shoes? We looked those vile american golf wives who all wore the same clothes at the Ryder cub years ago (oh I would have loved to have been on MN then to slag them all off in style and beauty).

We could have bought ivory shoes from somewhere else for £20. But no we had to have little bo peep boots.

We had to pay for £45 for our own swarovski tiara as well.

Gah! I meant the BRIDE should pay for them in OP title.

And the dresses were made by the bride's aunty so she didn't have to pay anything - her aunty paid for the material (vile lilac shite).

AND it didn't fit me. Was too big.

OOH who knew I was still so pissed off?

Urgh, when I was a bridesmaid for a friend I was tasked with looking for sandals. I found sandals she said were perfect, so she asked me to order 5 pairs in the right sizes and get the money back off each of the other bridesmaids. I did so, but 3 of them didn't pay up despite repeated requests...at £25 a pop. I mentioned it to the bride (nicely, a couple of them were her friends and I didn't know them that well) and she said she didn't want to get involved and that it was up to me to sort out. After all, it was her big day. So I was short £75 at a time I couldn't afford it. Grrrrr.

Hijack over.

Ooh MrsC I feel your pain

I don't really get why bridesmaids over the age of about 12 have to match anyway. Just give them a colour scheme if there is one and get them to choose a reasonable priced dress which you pay for. They are adults and as such should dress individually!

Re: shoes - if you had picked them and felt like you could wear them again, they YABU - however they sound hideous and a one-time-only thing. If the bride was that concerned about everyone matching she should have paid.

MrsC

I've never been a bridesmaid, but I'd probably expect the bride to pay for a hideous pair of shoes that I couldn't wear again. If I'd been able to choose them myself I wouldn't have been so bothered.

Stick them on Ebay.... there's probably a market for awful lace up shoes!

Of course the bride should have paid for them [and the tiaras] but really you should have said so there and then.If you don't stand up for yourself then [some] people will walk over you.It's pointless moaning about it afterwards, just say no in the 1st place.

At my imaginary wedding bridesmaids are allowed to wear whatever they like on their feet - to make up for wearing whatever dress I tell them we agree on.

Ivory laced shoes, DMs, sandals, Union Jack platforms, whatever.

Oh I would do so now. But was young and meek 10 years ago.

Gave the shoes to dd to put in her dressing up box, she coloured them pink with her crayola pens

Meek?

I still love her to bits though, I just remind her of her (few and far between) bridezilla moments!!

When I got married I only had my sis and cousin as bridesmaids, I bought the dresses (having had them approved/chosen obviously) and they picked the shoes, accessories etc etc. They were given money for them, but at the end of the day they had to be comfortable and be worn again, whoever was paying for them what would have been the point of buying something that would only be worn once? Just seemed like common sense, and much less work for me!

I have never been a bridemaid but have been a witness twice and paid for my own outfit . I think if the bride is going to specify on an outfit then she should pay.

When I got married I had my daughter and my friends little girl as my bridesmaids and I paid for everything and we paid for the suit hire for the two groomsmen.

My friend let her daughter cut the dress up and use it (right after) for dressing up though which pissed me off a bit .

Yes, meek trills, would you believe it

Was terribly shy. Scared of answering the phone. Didn't like ringing the bell on the bus because was convinced people would look at me. Was a complete pushover and doormat.

God knows what happened. I am a complete mardy nightmare now

Have a 'bad taste' fancy dress party. Wear boots. Invite friend.

Blessed are the meek!

I remember on one of those bridezilla programmes where the bride ordered her bridesmaids [about 8 of them] to pay for their dresses, of her choice, shoes and accessories, matching hairdo's, French manicure and pedicures. Surprisingly they all said yes. It must have come to hundreds of dollars each. Some people don't have any real concept of money.

I have heard of bridesmaids being 'told' to get fake tans, wear spanx, do their hair a certain way. The whole wedding business has gone totally out of hand, in my opinion. A lot of brides carry on as if their wedding is going to be a six page spread in Hello.

If I was expected to cough up for the outfit I would not be buying a wedding present!

This is one of the reasons I only had 1 bridesmaid. Made things much easier in that I could say OK you need a dress in colour X or Y that I should pay and she already had suitable shoes she could wear.

Anyway, the thing about shoes is that not everyone's feet are shaped the same. I have v wide feet and no way would I be pushed into having the same shoes (and particularly pay for them) as others if they didn't fit well.

I agree with you GOML! If you want someone to do something for you and to wear a specific get-up while they do, then you have to buy it for them (and probably get them very drunk to make them promise to wear it).

I can see why children are so popular as wedding extras; they are easier to convince.

And like you say, where on earth will you wear it again anyway??

Rofl at 'ivory silk high heeled boots with laces' - was it a Stevie Nicks themed wedding?

Lol - yes let it gooooooooooo! I haven't actually thought about it for years until I went on another bridezilla thread.

The boots didn't actually go with the dresses - the dresses were very plain column dresses which came to low calf. they were SO not the type of shoes to go with that dress. Look at the damn photos and we all look like we have got orthopeadic shoes on.

PLUS I had red hair at the time and it didn't go with this particular shade of bloody plum/lilac. I got dressed up n my finery and my boyfriend at the time just looked at me and went 'christ'. And then laughed.

My flatmate years ago was made to wear a dress that was pink and had a very deep inverted pleat in the front of the skirt which looked like a giant vagina. It was very amusing to see all these different shaped fannies lined up in the photos and I have always wondered if the bride realised