to think that if brides want bridesmaids to wear matching hideous ivory shoes, you should pay for them.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

There is another thread about bridesmaid shoe madness in active convos which made me remember seething resentment which I still have (madly 10 years on) about having to pay £60 for ivory silk high heeled boots with LACES (such a vile specimen of shoe has never again been seen) as all 6 bridesmaids had to have the same shoe.

WHY the same shoes? We looked those vile american golf wives who all wore the same clothes at the Ryder cub years ago (oh I would have loved to have been on MN then to slag them all off in style and beauty).

We could have bought ivory shoes from somewhere else for £20. But no we had to have little bo peep boots.

We had to pay for £45 for our own swarovski tiara as well.

yanbu....we want a photo!

I couldn't bear all that faff and nonsense. I didn't have bridesmaids, flowers,or cars.

We spent all the money on the evening do instead.

Gosh I paid everything for my bridesmaids!

Slight hijack - Eleanor what music are you having? Have you decided yet?

This is madness. I think I had a few bridezilla moments but when it came to bridesmaids I paid for dress and alterations so they fitted perfectly.

Said wear any shoes you like as long as you think they go (dress was long anyway so couldn't see them). In the end they decided that one would wear flats (she was really tall) and the other heels as she was a little short.

Paid for make up and hair to be done morning or wedding at hotel. I would not have dreamed of doing anything differently.

I paid for everything for my bridesmaids and for the suit hire including shoes for the men. I think if you want them to match then the bride should pay.

Oh please please cheesey please a little sneaky peek at the pics? ???

I've nnever been a bridesmaid. S'not fair. I'd look lovely in lace up ivory boots

Oh and of course, YANBU.

Lol at the vagina dresses

The Bride should pay all bridesmaids' costs. If she can't afford it she shouldn't have bridesmaids. It is, in any event a role best reserved to little girls who love it and look sweet. Most adult bridesmaids look hideous, through no fault of their own.

I haven't got any photos (when we were moving 2 years ago DP mistook the box full of photo albums for rubbish and took it to the tip - I have about 5 photos of DD as a baby as a result of this. Yes DP is still alive) but would love to see them again. friend has since divorced so god knows if she has any photos of us all in little bo peep boots.

Actually we all looked very funny - i am 6 foot, one of the other bridesmaids was 4 foot 10, we were all lined up in serried ranks according to height.

Exactly pointissima. I think having adult bridesmaids is damn odd.

I did actually pay for my dress, shoes and ahir when I was a bridesmaid a year or so ago. I was a little but I was asked late in the day due to several complicated issues around the death of another friend who was historically always going to be her bridesmaid. She decided not to have any friends as bridesmaids at all but changed her mind at the 11th hour. In the end my friend was so upset about it all that when she asked me if I'd mind stepping in, I was so honoured and happy to help that I just paid my own way. Some things are more important.

It did end up costing a small fortune though and I wouldn't do it again or for anyone else.

I like to think I was not a bridezilla at my wedding [smug emotcion]. I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses (my only stipulation was the colour) and I paid for them.

They bought their own shoes and again all I asked was that they were in ivory. They paid for these but they had the option to pay whatever they liked. In the end one borrowed a pair from her sister and the other bought a nice pair from Next for £30 that she has worn again many times.

People don't go to weddings to look at the bridesmaid's shoes FGS! Heck I can't even remember what the briddesmaid's wore at most of the weddings I've been too!

Only 2 things are ever remembered at a wedding - what the bride wore and what the food was like. These things, along with the photography, are the only things you need to really worry about.

I think the bride and grrom should pay for EVERYHING for their bridesmaids/flower girls/groomsmen/best man whatever. That's wha we did...I would never ask for anyone to pay for an outfit to ake a special part in our wedding...don't understand people who do..?

Oh indeed - I still remember the pale blue metallic strappy kitten heel sandals from about 10 years ago. To match ill fitting dress which fell to pieces as the day progressed. Such fun

As I said on the other thread - I don't like adult bridesmaids - stick to cute little ones if you must.

Read an article recently - probably in the DM about how women were purposely choosing their fatter friends to be bridesmaids so they looked slimmer in comparison.

So beware any friend who asks you to be a BM

I didn't have any bridesmaids either [although our 2 little nieces wore their own 'princess dresses' and looked adorable]. I don't really understand the current trend to have 6 or 8 bridesmaids and an equal number of ushers.When I was married back in the Dark ages [the 1980's] it was more usual to have 1 or 2 bridesmaids, usually sisters or cousins.
Still, each to their own and all that!

I would be very surprised if there were hordes of paparazzi stalking DVO around starbucks anyway, she's hardly Angeline Jolie. More likely she hasn't seen any paparazzi for ages DESPITE getting her boobs out and fancied a bit of attention!

i thought brides paid anyway i'm getting married in april and assumed i was paying for everything... what if you have children as bridesmaids, do their parents pay?

biddysmama - i wondered that too?? why have bridesmaids if you're not willing to buy them their outfit (and accessories)?

i'm having my dd and sister and dp's neice... my 2 boys are wearing suits like dps and hopefully ds will be 'giving me away' (not quite tho, registry office do) so it would only be my sis and dps neice that i wouldnt pay for anyway.... but i will

Am now considering having a Renewal Of Vows with loads of adult bridesmaids wearing vagina dresses and lace up boots.

[scores to settle emoticon]

When my DSis1 got married for the first time, errrm, 31 years ago , DSis2 and I had to wear dresses that were mint green and white striped (about half inch thich the stripes were) made by our Mum from a Simplicity pattern.

We didn't have to pay for them though.

I was only 14 and looked like I'd been shot out of a cannon most of the time anyway, so it was just another day in "What The Fuck Is She Wearing-Land" for me. But DSis2 was 17 and very trendy and was mortified. She hissed "When I get married I am going to have proper bought dresses from a shop!"

oooh I love a good bridezilla thread

IF (AND THAT IS A VERY BIG IF) I ever ever get married again everyone can wear whatever the fuck they like.

And if that means that my darling DD1 turns up in jodphurs and riding boots and DD2 turns up in her Ulster Rugby kit, then so be it.

As long as everyone who is there wants to be there and is wishing mr and mrnonexistentyet well then I couldn't give a flying fuck.

I do, however, know EXACTLY where I will be getting married (in my la la land of ever getting married again), how I will be getting there, and where the reception will be.