AIBU to want to shoot people who don't RSVP

[whomovedmychocolate]

I'm firmly in the saddle of my high horse here. When someone takes the trouble to send me an invitation to a party, and particularly when it is someone you know well but don't see very often, it is expected that you will respond in some kind, stating yes you'd be delighted, or no, you either don't want to or can't attend. Either response is fine.

No response is just fucking rude.

Yet 73% of people invited to a party at my house have failed to do this. Despite the fact that a lot of them were invited through facebook and could have just clicked yes or no there and then.

Grrrrrrr! How do you cater for a party if you don't know whether there will be 30 guests or 100?

and AIBU to keep back a supply of senna laced canapes for those buggers who didn't reply but then turn up expecting to be fed?

and you lot are unresponsive buggers too

I came to agree with your title, but now I think I'll just back away slowly (without accepting any food or drink).

Do you write your invites in the same style as your posts?

Seriously, it is the height of rudeness not to respond.

When I get an invitation through FB I don't think of it as 'real'. I get so much random stuff through there that it all mentally folds into one big slush pile. Most of the time I don't even look at invitations in there, so it's possible that your guests may ahve the same attitude.

I know it's annoying, but have you tired emailing people directly rather than FBing?

Welcome bran, have a cake

You're right. Shoot the fuckers. Is there a FB uninvite option?

Yes I've emailed direct and there were proper invites too - but I don't have everyone's address etc. Actually the person who has really pissed me off lives down the road, I told her about it in person and said, I'll send you an invite, did so, but nada since then and I'm too miffed to email her and say 'what gives you bugger'.

Wow wwmc, that looks delicious. If only I weren't dieting/diabetic/doing a sponsored fast/looking forward to living at least another day I would definitely tuck in.

how long have you given them to reply? I often open things, realise i'll have to check my diary / with my dp and decide to reply later. then forget until a few days before the event! oops.

There is Hassled - there's also a 'send a message to all those who haven't replied' but it's hard to get the grim reaper into the text box limit

MichaelaS - the customary six weeks with a reminder a week ago with parking details for those who are not locals.

I think I might actually have room for someone like Eleanor - nobody else will bloody well argue with me these days, they just skulk away and hide.

no yaNbu!!!

i am trying to arrange a hen party. all the invitees are GOOD friends of the bride

half have replied.

ffs

Oh, just shoot them all, then put the pics on FB.

how will she shoot them if they don't turn up? lol

You need to univite the non-responders. Give them 10 days to reply, and then send them a terse email (or letter sealed with red wax, sends out a sterner message I find) informing them that as a result of their ignorance and lack of manners, they must now consider themselves univited to your party.

One possible result of this is that you may find no-one actually comes to your party, but never mind - more canapes for you and your high horse. Neigh!!

i have this problem too- for dd1's birthday. i have emailed and texted and chased and still nothing. aaaahhhhhhhh!!

no you are most definitely NBU, the ultimate in rudeness. Did you put an RSVP date, if so I'd take it they're not coming if the date has passed and cater for that amount plus a few.

Ring up all the non responders and ask why you haven't heard from them. It is best to be direct IMO

see, with the kids parties i had always assumed that no reply meant NOT coming - then DS had 2 turn up who had not replied, mothers all smiles as if they'd done no wrong

they will not be invited next time

it is RUDE RUDE RUDE!!!

I am having this problem... WITH MY WEDDING.

Seriously. 200 paper invites sent out, 286 fb invites sent out. Less than half have even replied. There is even a maybe option on the fb.

We think we will have around 100 people there, but I have a horror that only 10 will turn up, or everyone who we have invited will come with their entire family.

We are trying to be relaxed, and have basically said anyone is welcome, but would like an idea to the nearest 100...

Eleanor - I don't know about that - he's an old guy, you may well kill him

This is for a party for my DSs birthday followed by a general 'it's summer' piss up for assorted friends we haven't seen for ages once all the kids have gone to bed/left. We do it every few years, everyone says it's fab and they all rave about it for ages.

I'm glad it's not just me though (sorry everyone) - I actually don't give a stuff about the adults, we just buy in enough booze to last us a year and that'll do and I just make a shedload of food, it's more that I want to make sure I have enough kids food for the kids bit and enough party bags for the kids etc. I'd be mortified if more kids turned up than I had party bags for or cups etc. Also, frankly, how the hell do you do a pass the parcel for a possible 10-50 small people? Do they each unwrap five layers and it go on till they graduate from university or what?

Stop messing about guessing and phone people up!!!why don't you do that?

Do you enjoy not knowing for sure?