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Allergies and intolerances

Let's have an allregy giggle for once, I am allergic to calamine, come, singger, and share please

54 replies

BlueBumedFly · 23/10/2009 10:26

So, as some light relief from all of our allergy stresses with our LOs, I thought I would share my funny allergy.

I am allergic to calamine, of any sort, cream or lotion. It's ok to snigger, it is a comedy allergy.

Go back 25 years to when I had Chicken Pox, picture my mother standing me up and practically bathing me in the evil pink liquid, she turns away to get more cotton wool, she turns back and I have gone. She looks down and I am out cold on the floor.

Move ahead 15 years, I am now in the USA, a scuba diving instructor, young, free and obviously invincible and immortal. I get heat rash from some sun lotion (pattern is now emerging) so I buy some calamine thinking it was just a childhood thing or a figment of my poor mother's imagination. Wake up flat on my back on the apartment floor with the bottle of evil pink liquid smashed next to me and a rather large bump on my head from where it hit the coffee table on the way down!

Move ahead to another life when I have a marriage, mortgage and kids. DD now has chicken pox and they now sell the new aqueous calamine cream... surely that is not evil too?

Picture the scene, trying to dab cream on a hot, irritable crying toddler whilst fighting the urge to pass out cold, I get closer and closer to the ground trying to quell the 'whirlies. I am crouched with my head on the lovely cold bathroom floor whilst pathetically holding up a wad cotton wool covered in evil pink cream in the hope I will manage to get a dab onto DD as she runs past every now and then.

It's OK, snigger away. Anyone else have comedy allergies? Come and chat, two days of Peppa Pig, Charlie and Lola, and ITNG are driving me slightly mad. Please come before Barney finishes me off!

OP posts:
BlueBumedFly · 23/10/2009 20:30

Guys??? Someone must have a comedy allergy? It cannot just be me???

OP posts:
tinytalker · 23/10/2009 20:33

That is quite an impressive and unusual allergy, I think you win the prize
I'm allergic to housework and at the moment my rather annoying hubby! Does that count?

BlueBumedFly · 23/10/2009 20:35

Oh yes TinyT, housework is a known allergy, and ironing I am told. Nasty, keep away at all costs!!

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 23/10/2009 20:36

lol bbf

I am allergic to hyacinths

just a hint of the smell and I am out cold

went to a friend's house and she said 'I've found these wonderful flowers! They are so easy to grow. I have them in pots everywhere. They are so colour...' and that's all I remember her saying

anothercoldcupoftea · 23/10/2009 20:37

Nope, can't top that

My brother is allergic to anything coloured green though. Couldn't sit on grass as a child, and still can't eat lettuce. Wierd.

strawberrycornetto · 23/10/2009 20:39

I am allergic to the cold. Everyone laughs at me but its true.

I come out in hives which are extremely itchy and painful, generally on my arms, legs, hands, feet. It comes up in a breeze, even on a tropical day, in the supermarket, in a swimming pool, in the rain.... It makes my life a misery, especially the swimming pool thing cause I love swimming and really struggle with most pools, especially in holiday villas.

I get no sympathy from family or friends, just ridicule!

Geocentric · 23/10/2009 20:42

You know the Disney film Hunchback of Notre Dame? The face on that guy is what I look like if I take aspirin, advil... anything but paracetamol. No other reaction, just hideously weird looking for about 24 hours. Soooo sexy! (not!)

Oooh, black pepper. Makes me high as a kite. No need for drugs, just give me a perfectly legal bowl of goulash.

MmeGoblindt · 23/10/2009 20:45

DH has a strange allergy to being cold, paticularly after hair washing. He sneezes for 30 minutes. Same when he gets chilly when sitting outside too long in evening.

Can't top the calamine allergy though. Very impressive

BlueBumedFly · 23/10/2009 20:45

Hee Hee, excellent, its kicked off, this is soooo funny, keep them coming

OP posts:
BlueBumedFly · 23/10/2009 20:49

Sorry, not funny, just unusual .... heee heee, glad I am not the only 'special' person!!

OP posts:
Chulita · 23/10/2009 20:52

Not me, a friend, is allergic to alcohol. She has a sneezing fit the moment she has the tiniest drink - unfortunately she loves her WKD so we have some stupid sneezing/giggling drunken moments

RubyBooBerry · 23/10/2009 20:52

You're allergic to come????????????????????????????

Chulita · 23/10/2009 20:54

pmsl RBB, I thawt the same thing!

Geocentric · 23/10/2009 20:54

Took me a while to figure out what RubyBoo was on about...

RubyBooBerry · 23/10/2009 20:57

LOL - I saw it and thought "naaaa, can't be!"

clayre · 23/10/2009 20:58

My dad has an allergy to piriton, he got was covered in an itchy rash went to the dr who said to get piriton to relive it so took one dose of piriton and ended up covered in itchy hives, was then sent to hosp to find out what was making him and test him allergies, he has to avoid piriton now

stainesmassif · 23/10/2009 21:01

you're right, your comedy allergy is funny, but i suspect it's too funny, no one can compete!

i don't have any funny allergy stories.

if you start a comedy thread about finding toilets in a hurry, i'm your woman.

foxinsocks · 23/10/2009 21:03

lol clayre

TrickOrTreatersDragOnTheNoose · 23/10/2009 21:04

thank god someone else thought the OP was allergic to come...

Cokie · 23/10/2009 21:08

I think I am allergic to come too!

FromGirders · 23/10/2009 21:13

How do you wake up from a faint if you are
a - in a house of hyacinths
b - passed out on the floor with a mashed bottle of calamine next to you?
Don't you just keep re-fainting? [puzzled]

Kerrymumbles · 23/10/2009 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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BlueBumedFly · 23/10/2009 21:22

Ah, I see, errrrr, no, not come ...... Just calamine ....

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 24/10/2009 07:51

well that's the unfunny bit really girders

I normally wake up then vomit (great house guest me) and by that stage can stumble outside for air before anything worse happens (breathing problems etc.!)

ouryve · 25/10/2009 22:49

I'm allergic to newsprint. Not just newsprint - some lined paper or cheap books have me coughing and my eyes and nose streaming in seconds. I make my husband carry the local free rag from the front door straight to the recycling bin unless I know I'm sufficiently dosed up with antihistamines to not end up with a coughing fit from it.

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