Try a non-drowsy anti histamine like clarityn.
Have you tried travelling to see if it is better in another part of the country, or even another country. (If moving might even be an option for you) My dd's eczema was much worse in england than in italy or california (places we go to a few times a year), although it did flare up terribly in the airplane because of the dry air. She did grow out of hers, although it doesn't sound like it was as bad as your dd and ds's.
I think looking at diet is really important. (There are a lot of food allergies in my family and some of us are allergic to the weirdest things...personally I am allergic to sulfites and have to avoid things like wine, any food cooked with wine, dried fruits, lots of fruit juices, etc.)
And you probably have done this already, but have you experimented with bathing more and/or less and bathing with filtered water (you can buy a simple filter that fits onto the shower head online).
It's very possible that the people at your church have no idea how difficult the eczema is for you (and your children). I don't think I would have had a clue until having a child with it. Even my mother didn't quite believe me when I would tell her that it could go from clear skin to bleeding patches overnight, until she saw it for herself. I think the article for the newsletter is a good idea.
Don't know if it is the same with your water company, but ours gives you a break on your water bill if you have metered water and a child with eczema. Not quite sure why though....
Good luck.