Supporting a young adult child with alcohol dependency at home

[SimulationSwarm]

Do any of you have a young adult child you’re supporting?
my YA is back from uni and for the first time has asked for help.
after at least two years of daily drinking- sometimes up to three bottles of wine, they are engaging with addiction support and we are tapering at home.

it’s exhausting and draining to be the parent supporting this.

Are there any others here?
I know there is the thread for people affected by other’s drinking but it’s mainly partners and this is my YA and I feel it’s different x

No real advice other than to quote Gabor Maté: "it's not why the addiction, rather why the pain"

Yeah- I agree.
we’ve tried to get them to the mental health team but they keep missing appointments

this time, they will be home so we will make sure they attend

I’m sorry but there is little you can do. They have to want to change their lives and to accept they have an addiction and cannot drink, ever. Have they been to the GP? There will be local services available. In our area apart from AA there is a charity that has meetings nearly every day. Alcoholics only change their lives when they reach rock bottom and I will spare anyone on here from describing what that looks like but it is worse than you can imagine. I feel for you but this is out of your control
Remember:
You didn’t cause it
You can’t control it
You can’t cure it.

I think picking them up from uni accom a month ago might have been their rock bottom.
they were having a panic attack as we arrived and the room was not pretty.
we cleared it up - removed all the amity bottles and mess and brought them home.
a few days later, they asked for hop and we are helping them taper their drinking - they go to an addiction charity once a month

Gabor Mate ignores the fact that if you take too much of an addictive substance too regularly, you will become addicted.

That's literally how addictive substances work.

Sympathies OP, sounds like you're a great support.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The fact they’ve asked for help is positive.

I know the other thread you’re talking about, and there is at least one poster on there in your situation who has been posting quite recently, so it might be worth having another look.

Good luck to you and your child

Thanks.
its a lonely club to be in.

I absolutely get that the other thread feels different.
But when your kid is 20yrs old and is the sweetest loveliest person who is just struggling with life, I don’t want to look into the future tbh.
and that thread feels like the future for them and those they love !

It's good they are asking for support and although it is scary, they absolutely can get well again. The good news is that at their age, the physical damage will be limited (vs 30 years of alcohol abuse).

AA have meeting for family members Al Anon - it's such a big community there should be something near you and if not they operate online too.

Good luck to you and your child.

I’ve tried the support groups but tbh they have scared me.
the loved ones seem to be in a much worse place than my kid and there have been some arrests, jail and bereavements that I can’t cope with tbh.
I have a small group that meets online and facilitied by a local charity. It’s ok- but not quite enough ongoing help and I thought I’d start a thread here to see if there is none else here.
thanks for all your replies