The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Good morning shipmates,

Welcome @TickleMeElmo1 - I am very glad you have found your way to us. Lots of understanding and support here. We have all been where you are now and promise that it IS horrible to begin with (sorry) - but this stage does not last. It will get better. You are strong, brave, and you are worth fighting for. Small steps to begin with will become mighty, powerful strides. I absolutely promise you it is worth it.

Ah, @TwoNicePuppies - I am so sorry you've had a wobble. No-one is judging you harshly. We have all been there - I most certainly have, many times. It's all in the how you pick yourself up afterwards, and you are doing your best. Posting, owning the slip and trying to get back up again. No shame in that whatsoever. If it was THAT easy then this thread and others like it wouldn't exist. It will be alright. You are NOT a failure. You're still a treasured member of tis thread. Keep going. It won't always be this sh~t, I promise.

Here's our Cabin Boy / Powder Monkey, Sid, enjoying the birdsong in his favourite bluebell wood. The bluebells are gone over now - they were early this year - and the earth is almost bare once more. But they will bloom again. Spring will return and the flowers will open and flourish again. And so will you. Keep going, even though it's hard at the moment. Your sobriety and all that it brings are worth the fight. YOU are worth the fight. And you will rise and blossom again. All shall be well. x

Quick check in from me, don’t be disheartened shipmates it’s bloody tricky, today is a new day, onwards and upwards.

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge ive always loved Guiness too but can confirm the 0% one is one of the best AF alternatives, it genuinely tastes the same and you can make beef and Guinness pie with it x

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you. I slept pretty well last night. Ended up listening to a podcast with William Porter so will get his book audible. Alcohol explained- I’m sure it’s been mentioned here before.

@TwoNicePuppies please don’t beat yourself up. It’s a new day

@FiloPasty I love Guiness so that is good to know!!

@REP22 thank you ☺️

Thanks for a warm welcome everyone. I didn’t end up talking to DH about my decision but I will. I feel so motivated this morning - it’s my day off so been busy organising things and also made a mind movie (like a vision board but in movie format) which I’ve been meaning to do for a while. I added a slide about not needing alcohol in my life 🥰 I’ve been meditating for many years but lately not been doing much of that and not really been looking after my mental health so this is a good step forward for me too.

hope everyone is having a good day so far.

The dreaded headache came this afternoon! Ended up needing a nap which is unlikely me.

Also told DH over dinner and he was super supportive so am feeling relieved he knows now. He said he had no idea how bad it got, shows just how good I was at hiding it.

Day 2 ticked off

I got through today but it wasn’t fun at all. I was definitely not the only rough person in the room and I actually think I hid it well, but I WAS the only one who refused a glass of champagne to end the meeting & happily stuck to my 79th glass of water of the day. Your lovely words and Sid in the bluebells really made my smile, thank you all ❤️
IWNDWYT

Hi all!

Welcome @TickleMeElmo1. Really glad you've joined us. It's good to get it all down in writing even if it's scary at first. I'm on a four day streak now of meditating. Years ago I was evangelical about it and then it somehow dropped away. It's been nice to realise I can sit with thoughts again even if I would prefer them to not be there at all.

I hope today has been a bit less grumpy @Sunshinebound99. Honestly it does get better even with the hormones and that sense of impending doom. It would be worse with the drink but I do empathise with the added frustration that you feel stuck in it. This too shall pass.

Oh guys... I'm just so sorry for those who have had an awful day because of the poison.

Just remember you'll feel so much better tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that.

@TwoNicePuppies well done for getting through the day and resisting the hair of the dog! Don't be hard on yourself.

Welcome @TickleMeElmo1

@REP22 I absolutely love seeing Sid, he reminds me of my DM's gorgeous dog.

@ShyMaryEllen hope it's positive news tomorrow.

Another day ticked off, sleep well shipmates.

Good morning shipmates.

I've been using Facebook to get into Mumsnet then the app. The app is weird so I'll try again to come in via the website.
I'm a bit better today after my left hand went into a claw like spasm.
Very excited to see the stable cottage tomorrow.
I had a shock phonecall yesterday from a headhunter. Big job which I don't want. However very tempting!

I've been slurping raspberry sprite. Very artificial but one has to try new things.

Afternoon Shipmates

Welcome aboard everyone who's new.
I will catch up with the thread properly in the next few days, currently in hospital with my daughter at the moment and lots going on.

But I just wanted to say I'm here and still aboard.
Day 29 today!
It's actually getting easier already.
So much of my life was wasted on deciding what days I was limiting myself to drink, how much I would consume (and always failing) and the days I weren't drinking I was thinking about it.

My sleeps improved so much, I've been tackling sad emotions I would usually reach for a glass of wine to take the edge off and numb and my emotions are alot more stable.

Tomorrow will be my 5th weekend in a row I won't have had a drink. - January birthday, so I've never done a dry jan!

I hope everyones doing ok, and again apologies I will read everyone's updates soon 💜

Great work @MaineStorm that's the point I also thought I could actually maybe do it, it’s a great feeling. I used to relish ticking off the Try Dry notification each night, now sometimes I have to go in and remember to tick off a week at a time.
Day 238 here which is MENTAL, and according to try dry nearly £2,500 saved which I reckon is probably more as I was partial to some spenny wine. It’s total freedom honestly, those in the trenches and early days keep fighting, I’m totally with the bunnies (iykyk) loving exercise loving life!

Has anyone watched - Should I marry a murderer on Netflix? True story, crazy! Worth a watch.

@WendyWagon nice to be wanted though! I remember getting headhunted when heavily pregnant for an amazing job and often wonder about the different routes and where they would have taken me. Hope the cottage is the one!

Just checking in quickly. Am starting to struggle.

On day 11 and it has been going so well. I don’t even want to drink. Or didn’t, until today.

My mum and her sister arrived last night, they are staying for a week. They are on their third bottle already since last night and the night is still young. I’ve had a really stressful day and that glass of white is looking very inviting. But I‘m back at work for an hour tonight and have an early start tomorrow so I‘m almost certain I can avoid temptation.

But tomorrow night we are going out for dinner. And on Sunday we have a family party. I‘ve planned in my head that I won’t drink and was feeling confident but now I am starting to wobble. I don’t want to ruin this weekend with a hangover. I don’t want to embarrass myself at the party.

I would really appreciate some wise words to help me through this. I will try to check in again soon. It’s a bit mental here right now.

You can do it. A whole new healthier life awaits. It's not just the effects on the body it's also the mind. Life's issues are easier to deal with sober. I promise you that. X

Hi @VillageIdiott - it sounds like you’re struggling with overwhelm - work, visitors ( and drinking visitors at that). Take some time for yourself- go into the garden, hide in the toilet, whatever.

As for the next couple of nights - you CAN do it sober. Do you like lists? You could try to write a list of the positives of drinking at a social event and the negatives- my guess is the negatives far outweigh the positives (and that some of the positives relate to escape?)

When you do running training, one if the objectives is to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” - yes, your breathing is heavy, but you can do it for the next 5 minutes. And the next. And so on. The same is true of doing things sober

You’ve done so brilliantly to get to 11 days - don’t make yourself do the hard part again.

Evening shipmates!

@VillageIdiottwhat is inviting about the glass of wine? What are you getting from that glass of wine that you couldn't get from a non alcoholic drink?
I like to sometimes think about the negatives alcohol brings to my life vs the positives. When I start to write down the positives I realise it's not the alcohol that's giving me that at all!

Do a bit of an exercise tomorrow in writing down - do it, put it in the notes on your phone - some of the positive beliefs you have about alcohol - and really question each one. Does it actually make you happy? Does it actually make for better conversation? Etc etc Try and reframe some of your thoughts ahead of the evening from 'I don't want to ruin this weekend with a hangover' to things that will help you in the moment - playing it forward helps but it doesn't help when you have the fuck it moment. Your aim needs to be to not want to press the fuck it button because you actually don't see the point in drinking because it won't bring anything to the evening.

That's what helps me anyway. Genuinely believing that I can still have a good time... and usually that takes me through the first hour. After that I can see what alcohol is doing to the people I'm with and it's much easier to decide not to join them!

Evening shipmates!

@VillageIdiottwhat is inviting about the glass of wine? What are you getting from that glass of wine that you couldn't get from a non alcoholic drink?
I like to sometimes think about the negatives alcohol brings to my life vs the positives. When I start to write down the positives I realise it's not the alcohol that's giving me that at all!

Do a bit of an exercise tomorrow in writing down - do it, put it in the notes on your phone - some of the positive beliefs you have about alcohol - and really question each one. Does it actually make you happy? Does it actually make for better conversation? Does it actually help you to de-stress? Etc etc. Try and reframe some of your thoughts ahead of the evening from 'I don't want to ruin this weekend with a hangover' to things that will help you in the moment - playing it forward helps but it doesn't help when you have the fuck it moment. Your aim needs to be to not want to press the fuck it button because the alcohol is not the medicine you're looking for.

That's what helps me anyway. Genuinely believing that alcohol doesn't solve / bring whatever feeling/ thing we think it solves/ brings. Usually that takes me through the first hour. After that I can see what alcohol is doing to the people I'm with and it's much easier to decide not to join them!

@VillageIdiott when I read back my earlier posts I had so many wobbles but my answer is indulge in the AF options, I still equate a cold glass of white wine to being my wind down, relaxation stress reliever that comes in a bottle. I’ve just tried the new AF New Zealand white £8 from M&S and recommend. No one even needs to know you’re not drinking, same with AF beers. Fake it till you make it!
Think the writing down bullet points is great advice too. You can totally do it

I’m very new here and only on day3 but @VillageIdiott you’ve got some great advice here. I also recommend getting some nice AF drinks and you can join in with everyone. The horrible feeling after drinking is not worth it. You’ve got this !!!

Evening shipmates
just catching up on the thread.
welcome @TickleMeElmo1 its great you’ve spoken to your DH. I was a super secret drinker but I don’t think I hid it quite as well as I thought I did. Nevertheless I think people would be shocked to know how much I was putting away when I drank. I’d refill bottles so it would look like I’d barely touched them or sneak things into bins walking the dog. Utterly deranged behaviour!
it was bloody exhausting and it’s taken me a few goes to get to this point of 165 days AF. But I cannot tell you how much my life has improved in every single aspect. It’s not that I never wobble but I have negotiated multiple social events without booze now and it gets easier. My main risk is drinking on my own so I have changed my habits to reduce the risks of slips!
@TwoNicePuppies don’t be too hard on yourself. You just need to hop straight back on the good ship with us!
@MaineStorm great to see you and congratulations on 29 days. That’s awesome.
@VillageIdiott some great advice from others. You have decided to stop for very good reasons. Don’t be seduced by the one weekend won’t hurt mentality. You will be so pleased if you stick it out this weekend. A clear head, good sleep and not having to worry about what you said or did. No next day anxiety. The benefits are real. And check in as much as you need to -posting here really helps me stay accountable and firm in my resolution not to drink. Take AF fee options to the party-I find they really do scratch the itch h for me.
@FiloPasty I watched the Netflix documentary. It was mind boggling. She had a very hard time in the media but I felt quite sorry for her TBH.

Today has been a harder day. Felt a bit down and anxious, headache still lingering but I did go for a 6 mile hike which cleared that. I also had this weird feeling come into my head this evening that when I had my last drink on Monday I didn’t ‘know’ it was my last drink….maybe I should have one farewell drink. I quickly snapped out of it, made a decaf oat latte and put on a podcast about AF life
Day 3 ticked off. I know the withdrawal symptoms will go away soon….just gotta keep going.

@Carpetburn 165 days is amazing!! I know mine will improve too. Listening and reading success stories and how living AF has changed their lives a is so inspiring. I was also refilling wine bottles with
water, hiding empty ones in main rubbish bin bags with household waste (not recycling as they are visible there) took a few on a dog walk to throw away and would walk a 5 mile round trip to the supermarket to buy more vodka and gin to replace the one I drank. It’s actually making me feel better that I wasn’t the only one doing crazy things like this. Also had a bottle of mouthwash downstairs and always strong mints nearby ….I don’t ever want to go back to that…

Thanks all. I‘m going to read through your messages again before I go out tonight. They’ve really helped.

Alcohol doesn’t bring anything good to my life. It never has.

Last night was hard. I got in from work and my relatives were drunk. My aunt asked me no less than 7 times if I wanted a glass of wine. And I said no, 7 times.

They were drunk in front of my children, it was awful to see. Especially when that would normally be me. My kids weren’t phased by it, because they’ve seen it so many times before.

I‘m hoping I can drive tonight. And Sunday too. I have never had a drink and driven, and of course it’s an excuse my relatives will accept.

@VillageIdiott my teens have some stories of drunk me and I want to shrivel up and hide, they are one of the main reasons I’ve kept to this, they are so proud of me. As you say it’s their normal to be around drunk parents. I’m so happy I’m finally setting a better example.

@TickleMeElmo1 my last drink that I didn’t know would be my last drink was me putting baileys in my coffee as we’d run out of milk. At first I thought it was kind of funny but really it’s sad that it was so normal to me.

keep going. Chin up :)

Well done on 165 days @Carpetburn, incredible! We do not need alcohol in our lives, it serves no purpose other than to bring misery to it!

Closing in on 10 months here, and I had a wobble yesterday. I’ve had a rotten time of it financially the past couple of years, I was the victim of fraud in 2024, which caused my credit score to tumble. Been playing catch up for quite some time, and yesterday I was (finally) approved for a £15,000 loan at an agreeable APR rate to just clear every single bit of debt I have. Will be paying the loan off for 4 years but what a relief, just to get away from having money on so many different cards. I’ve closed all but two of my credit cards, and they will only be used for day to day shopping and cleared in full at the end of each month.

I think I am financially responsible but probably could be a lot better, so I am treating this as a complete fresh start.

BUT…. What was cause for a celebration suddenly awoke a voice in my head that said “go and buy a bottle of Malbec, you deserve it. It’s just one, you won’t even know you’ve had it”, and shipmates, I was very close to falling. Thank goodness I saw sense, but that’s me 10 months deep, haven’t heard from that voice in months, and all of a sudden, there it is.