My DH is a functioning alcoholic. He has a job that means working away from home for long periods of time, often in the arse end of nowhere with a few other men (who all also have alcohol and drug issues). He has no qualifications to get any other job, he has tried in the past as the constant rejections got him down. But I am getting so sick of his drinking. He drinks when at home but it's curbed a lot so only 2-3 a night and he doesnt get drunk usually. But while he's away he drinks to the point of being obviously drunk every night. He isn't violent or aggressive but can become argumentative or ranty sometimes when he's drank too much, other times he goes the opposite way and is happy as Larry, but you just never know and sometimes he can flit from one to the other. He sought support from the GP before Christmas and he got referred to an alcohol support team and then given a mentor who told him that because he was able to cut back or drink nothing on the weekends he came home, that he isn't an alcoholic. I was furious with them for this as he was completely prepared and ready for support at that point and this just sent him right back as he then took that as a professional has told him how he drinks isn't an issue so it must be fine.
I am getting so sick of speaking to him on the phone while he works away now. It's fine when we talk during the day but when we talk in the evenings he is clearly drunk and I just can't be arsed with it anymore. I've realised that it really drains my energy and affects me the next day, even the next two days sometimes after an argument on the phone when he's drunk. So a couple of nights ago he was drunk and cheery but I said something that he took wrong and started ranting so I just hung up and blocked him for the night. I unblocked him before I went to sleep and we just carried on the next day as normal. Tonight he video called and was clearly happy drunk but I just couldnt be arsed with it or being on edge in case I say the wrong thing and he gets ranty so I told him I didnt want to talk while he was drunk and that I love him but Im going to bed. He texted me saying that he is gutted that I dont want to talk to him. I feel guilty but I also feel like it is a way of protecting myself from all the negativity that comes from his drinking. I feel like it's not him that I'm talking to when he's drunk and I just want to speak to and be with the real him. I'm trying to stop myself from messaging or calling though because I do love him and I do want to talk to him, I just don't want to talk to drunk him anymore because it's draining the life from me.