Talk me out of having a drink this evening…

[bluecarnationthefirst]

Because I am pretty sure I just can’t have one… I’ve achieved 11 months sober, which if you had asked me this time last year I would never have thought possible!

It’s just that it’s Christmas, everyone is on the Prosecco, or wine or whatever, and I feel SO left out. Which is ridiculous, I know. And I know if I have ‘one’ drink, it will end in disaster, and I do not want to be hungover tomorrow.

Alcohol is the only way I’ve managed to get through Christmas in the past with my (frankly appalling) family, and I miss it very badly this evening, and will do tomorrow as well. I feel very anxious and strung out, and have done for the last few weeks.

Self-indulgent woe is me!

You can do it!

Who are you with? Can you tell someone you’re struggling?

You can do this. 11 months is such an achievement, that's a long time! Think how brilliant that year mark is going to feel.

11 months is an amazing achievement, well done!

What are you Christmas plans? Are you at home or are you having to go out?

This is a challenge which you can do! I’m 6 weeks sober. But I am pregnant so can’t. It’s nice to have the choice taken away. You’ll feel much happier tomorrow having not had a drink. Alcohol free gin is my go to this evening!

Try to think of your future self and what you'll be happy you did for yourself in the long run, rather than thinking of you in this moment.

You've got this! No drinking tonight means waking up on Christmas morning full of energy and pride!

Thanks, appreciate it.

Can’t tell anyone really, it’s just me and dd and I was very much a secret drinker, so no-one really knows how much I was drinking before, and feel embarrassed to say anything to anyone, if that makes sense!

I did a bottle on Monday night and still feeling crap and guilty about it now. Don’t do it! I had about 30 minutes of enjoyment (the first glass) and then was awake from 2am with raging anxiety, hot and sweaty and hating myself for drinking it!

You’ve done so so well! Xmas will soon be over and you’ll be so pleased that you didn’t give in.

You’re in recovery. One day at a time. Your brain will not stop at one as you’re an addict (I am too). Distract yourself and get through it. Do not drink.

If you could have just one, would you have felt the need to get sober?

My not very scientific take on it is our addiction pathways stay damped down as long as we don’t drink but they spark iinto life if we do.

I remember my first sober Christmas it was the hardest day in the 4 months I’d had to that point. I opened an AF fizz dug deep and played it forward. When I was up and fresh on Boxing Day I knew I’d done the right thing.

When I was drinking couldn’t imagine how I’d spend Christmas without a cocktail, mulled wine, wine and fizz. Tomorrow is my 5th sober Christmas and it’s easy now. I’ll have a decaf tea instead of a mulled wine tonight. Pineapple juice with my breakfast instead of Buck’s Fizz. And I have a bottle of AF fizz but truth be told I might not even bother with it.

Dont undo the almost a year of hard work. I can guarantee hitting that soberversary will be 10 times better than any glass of Christmas piss water

I’m 9 years sober. The first few months were hell.

Keep telling yourself this, when that itch to drink constantly scratches at your mind - “how will I feel tomorrow when I wake up with a sweaty head, a dry mouth and the crushing disappointment that I’ve just wasted 11 months?”

It worked for me - I don’t need it now, I never even think about alcohol any more but it takes time.

Do something to occupy yourself tonight - resist those devils whispering on your shoulder and I guarantee you’ll wake up tomorrow morning feeling bloody great.

You really can do this.

You are all right. And actually this is the first time (apart from whiteknuckling the first few weeks!) that I’ve felt like this, which I guess is an achievement in itself.

Got very difficult family members coming tomorrow, who are ridiculous drinkers themselves) so got massive anxiety and dread about that to add to the mix!

Keep talking here!

You've done so well so far! You've used alcohol in the past as a coping mechanismwith a difficult family, so it's natural to be tempted to dall back on your past coping mechanisms.

Don't let these people derail you!

You may see it as having one as being good to yourself. ‘Treating yourself’.

But it’s not a treat, if you’re not really being good to yourself. Having a drink isn’t being good to yourself. The momentary pleasure at the treat will be replaced the instant that you finish by all of the reasons you stopped in the first place.

Give yourself a real treat, that makes you feel good during AND after, instead. Something you enjoy or love - literally anything! You really do deserve it.

Just no booze. You don’t deserve that because it’s genuinely not being kind or good to yourself.

You’ve done 11 months. You’re amazing. Keep going.

You’ve done amazingly well so far. You can definitely see it through to one whole year. Remind yourself of all the benefits - clear head, more energy, better skin, sense of achievement, doing right by your DD.
When other people are drinking I usually have a low alcohol beer and I find it not that different to having a real beer. Make sure there are nice nibbles too. How about some fruit or green tea to switch to later. You can get matcha pods for nespresso machines too so try those. On Boxing Day you’ll be up with the lark looking amazing and everyone else will look and feel like shit.

You will never regret not drinking the night before.

FACT

Use that as a mantra.

Going forward, is there a way to rearrange being in the company of people that trigger you? It would be so much easier if you can avoid them.

Well done on 11 months of sobriety. You have done so well refusing alcohol and your daughter will thank you for it. You are her world, she loves you and needs you. You deserve to have a happy life together without all the heartache that alcoholism causes to yourself and your daughter. Wishing you strength to stay sober and may you and your daughter have a happy life together 🤗

Just think how amazing making it to 1 whole year will feel! That's something worth hanging on to, don't let tonight be the night that resets you back to 0 months. You can do this :)

I think getting to the 1 year point would be such a self validating achievement, I would see this as your last (big) challenge: Christmas and getting to the year point. If you falter now, even if it was just 1 drink, I think you’ll feel so negative and guilty, but getting to the milestone will feel brilliant, better than the instant feeling of that first sip. I’m willing you on!

Don't do it- you know it might feel great for a short while but then you'll feel rubbish about it. And you are so close to 12 months- hang in there and it will pass!

You will be so glad you didn't. I'm having a Schloer and looking forward to a clear head in the morning. That will make difficult relatives far easier to deal with than a hangover. Come on MN to vent about them if you need to, that will do you more good than a glass of wine

No there are so many people not on the prosecco. Me included and my partner. I get the FOMO but you have definitely come too far to have to start all over again. You will wake up tomorrow and feel alive and healthy, this is a gift no one with a hangover will feel.

Just took dd and the dog out for a walk to look at the Christmas lights. Now need to get on with bedtime, and the excitement and so on.

I’ve had such a bloody shit time over the last few years, and I should be bloody proud of myself for getting this far, and you are all right, can’t let one day or two get in the way of what I’ve achieved so far, I would never forgive myself if I gave in.

Just having a little cry in the kitchen before I put my brave face back on and try not to ruin dd’s joy.

11 months is a fantastic achievement! It's tough, I know. You will be doing so well to get through Christmas, and you will look back and be proud of yourself.
Bit late for tomorrow, but I found a fabulous recipe for mulled apple juice this year, which is the first non alcoholic drink I've found which I really look forward to. Happy to post the recipe for new year for you . . .

Mulled apple juice. In a saucepan add

3/4 litre apple juice
1/2 litre orange juice
1/2 litre cranberry juice
1/2 bottle spiced berry cordial (Sainsburys or Waitrose)
slices of orange with cloves in
Nutmeg and cinnamon

Heat until nearly boiling, then summer for 5 mins.

Just wanted to say, very well done Op, 11 months is a great achievement.

Stay strong. When you wake with your lovely Dd tomorrow, sober, you should feel so very proud 💐