Sober October Challenge

[KK1983]

Good afternoon 😊

As the title suggests, I have decided to give 'Sober October' my all and go alcohol free for 31 days. This challenge might be a walk in the park for some but this is going to be HUGE for me. In the past 12yrs, I can't even remember the last time I have even gone a week sober, let alone a month!

So, I am a daily drinker. I have 1-2 bottles per day, sometimes more over the weekend. I have a successful job and a beautiful life but my drinking is becoming more of an issue that I ever thought it would be. I think about it more than I want, plan days around it and spend far too much money on it. Alcoholism runs in my family so i'm aware of the signs which is why I need to get a grip asap. I want to be able to moderate.

If you saw me in the street you'd look at me and think I have my shit together. I have the house, the kids, the marriage, the job - the lot! Drinking became a friend when I had none and when I was lonely after my daughter was born and my husband worked nights. Now drinking feels part of my personality, people know me as someone who loves a drink, the life and soul and I used to love that but now, I'm bored of myself.

I have tried to go sober several times but I get to day 4 and give in after finding any tiny excuse to reward myself. Night 1 always feels a bit rough. I role around the bed for hours on end and get a little anxious but nothing too bad. Day 2 I feel hungover without the fun the night before. Day 3 I cry a lot and become quite irritated. Day 4 - I quit! Not this time though, I NEED to do this and I WILL do this.

To help me along the way I have started taking the following vitamins:

• Vitamin B Complex high strength
• Live friendly gut bacteria
• Vitamin B1 500mg x2
• Iron
• Biotin & Zinc
• Vitamin D & K2

Can any recommend anything else or have any tips to help me along the way?

Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Kate x

If I try to address anything with him he finds a way to turn it around on my or just lay out denies or pulls my observation apart. He’s very good at it. I always said he would make an excellent prosecution barrister - always finds an angle and leaves his victim blustering or tongue tied and looking like a liar.

Sorry to hear you're going through it at the moment, that would be upsetting for most people and I would have done the same so don't be so hard on yourself. You've drank once in a week - that's not the end of the world. You had 6 solid days under your belt that your body will thank you for.

Get some carbs down you, a berocca/B vits and a load of water. Today's a new day x

This doesn't sound fun at all, and undermines your confidence pretty quickly 😢 if it's important can you ask chatgpt for counterarguments to what you want to say so at least you're ready for some of his retorts?

Yeah, I’ve tried that one - it doesn't work. He just ups his game or tells me I need to disengage becayse I have an anger management problem.

It’s just pretty hopeless

Sounds a lot like gaslighting to me.

Just focus on yourself and make yourself the priority here. ❤️

It’s ubderstandable. Please try not to feel ashamed. I know that’s hard not to do

Happy Wednesday guys,

I've been for breakfast this morning with my husband and daughter which was lovely. Our new Ikea furniture has been built and now I have to rearrange my bedroom and find a new place for everything. Wish I hadn't started 😩

Hope everyone has a lovely day - you've got this x

Apparently I am the gaslighter…..

You can see how this goes.

Im trying to jyst focus on myself but I have PTSD due to previous domestic abuse so it’s really really hard

He sounds awful @Fiftyandme . Really patronising and contemptuous. Hugs.

I think you’re worth more than him @Fiftyandme. ❤️

@Springadorablerunning really is much easier if you’re lighter, sadly that’s a fact. I’m the right build for it genetically with reasonably good form and I keep my easy runs easy so haven’t massively gotten injured over the years. I have to work more now though to keep it that way!! Definitely more resistance and strength work and mobility too - I’m stiff as a board! It’s likely strengthening legs and core as much as possible. I find a lot of single leg work helps as it irons out any imbalances and improves balance anyway. Well done on the weight loss, if indeed it was intentional, otherwise I hope you’re okay if it wasn’t ❤️

@Fiftyandme sorry you’re going through this. You have the presence of mind to know who is in the wrong, though, and you know it’s not you.

Sounds like he wants to both justify his own alcohol consumption and at the same time keep you on the booze so you avoid challenging him. I’m sorry to say he sounds awful. I’ve met people like him before.

keep talking, and get back on that wagon. I’m doing the same today ❤️

@needastrongoneagain1 thank you this is very helpful. Will look up some exercises!

I'd love to run but I have hypermobilty which was all fun and games when I was younger being extra bendy but not so much in my 40's. I started couch to 5k about 6 weeks about and when I bent down to tie my lace, my knee popped out of it's socket. This then sets me back weeks and costs me a small fortune weekly in private physiotherapy appointments. I'm having to do 100 mini squats a day to strengthen the knees up. Fingers crossed it helps.

@KK1983 what a nightmare! I'm the opposite, chronically inflexible. I remember as a five year old being amazed that people could touch their toes with straight legs. And I certainly haven't got better since then 😅

@Springadorable 😂 keep trying - hopefully one day haha

Omg this sounds horrendous 😬

What about cycling? It’s no impact and also the movement is all in one plane which I assume might be good for the risk of dislocation.

Wednesday night and I’ve had a Coke Zero as a bit of a treat. Didn’t consider drinking but tomorrow I’m will be harder as Thursday always feels like a drinking day, more so than the weekends in many ways.

@nowinetimeforme They did suggest cycling so I'm considering a stationary bike for at home. I was looking at the Peloton bikes but I just can't justify the cost. Even renting one is £125 p/m 😮

I've just finally sat down with a cherry coke, chocolate pretzles and watching 24hrs in Police custody. Love anything like this. We'll get you through Thursday don't worry.

Enjoy your cherry coke @KK1983 Im watching True Haunting on Netflix. Unsure whether I like it yet… jury’s out!

Peloton is ridiculously expensive, I don't know how anyone justifies it really. Love a coke zero (although I now have to have the caffeine free one as otherwise it messes with my bladder...oh the joys!).
I watched 24 hours last night - shocking. Now watching the Ed Gien thing which someone mentioned which is horrifying in a different way. Crucially no glass in hand so that's good!

@KK1983 i honestly wouldn’t bother with peloton…I had one during lockdown (at huge expense as it was the thing at the time) and used it for a few weeks then it sat gathering dust most of the time. I’d rather join a spin class at the gym or get out in the fresh air.

Ive Been to my book club this evening and stuck to lime and soda. Felt good!

@Todayisanewday75 @Fiftyandme & @Youngatheart00 Sorry to hear you’ve all blipped, especially understandable with some of the sh@tty situations you faced 💐. I’m glad you are all still with us. @Fiftyandme can I ask if your marriage is just in a tough spot just now or is it longer term issues? We are similar ages and it certainly isn’t easy after all these years is it?

I do think this group is great. You are all great! 😊 I worked in the office quite late yesterday and was thinking of having a drink the whole drive home. When I arrived, I looked down at my phone I saw someone had reacted to one of my posts, so I opened the thread and, well, it pulled me back in line! I am finding early evenings really tough. (Big ‘feck it’ voice in my head), but facing each day the best I can as it’s soo rewarding going to bed the days it’s worked out. I’m at 8 days - minus one large glass of red on day 5, but am going to focus on lasting change in my thinking too. Have a good evening all.

I’ve not used a peloton but I know they are expensive. Looks like you can get one second have for upwards of £400 but transportation would be an issue unless you found a local one.

I have a road bike so I put it on a turbo trainer which turns it into a stationary bike and adds resistance etc. (picture attached but I guess won’t show immediately). I’ve not got it set up at the moment but with the days getting shorter and much less drinking going on, I could get back into it.

well don’t everyone with their soft drinks tonight x

@HazelHolly totally agree, that early afternoon to mid afternoon build up and arguments in my head is a killer! But this thread is helping way more than I expected. Think it helps that we are all pretty much at the same stage - it's harder to relate to people who have already been sober for years (or even weeks!).
It's odd, because I had zero issue not drinking each time I was pregnant. And I'm doing it now for my kids because I'm a grumpy cowbag after a drink, but it's so much harder even though it benefits them so much. Wish it was as easy as being pregnant!

I genuinely thought about having a third kid just so I could be pregnant again and break the drinking habit 😂 I didn’t consider it seriously, or for long but my DP would jump at having another (I've said no) so I did have a fleeting idea once.

The reason it’s hard is because you have a choice now. Although technically you could have drank when pregnant most people wouldn’t consider that a viable option, so it’s easy. There’s no work around, no negotiations or justifications just a simple decision made and never reconsidered.

@KK1983 I watched episode 1 of the new series of 24 hours in police custody this evening - shocking but I'm looking forward to episode 2. I vaguely remember this case being in the news.

Still AF on day 8 - both DC have broken out in chickenpox today though (it's going round school) so a stressful few days ahead I think!