Sober October Challenge

[KK1983]

Good afternoon 😊

As the title suggests, I have decided to give 'Sober October' my all and go alcohol free for 31 days. This challenge might be a walk in the park for some but this is going to be HUGE for me. In the past 12yrs, I can't even remember the last time I have even gone a week sober, let alone a month!

So, I am a daily drinker. I have 1-2 bottles per day, sometimes more over the weekend. I have a successful job and a beautiful life but my drinking is becoming more of an issue that I ever thought it would be. I think about it more than I want, plan days around it and spend far too much money on it. Alcoholism runs in my family so i'm aware of the signs which is why I need to get a grip asap. I want to be able to moderate.

If you saw me in the street you'd look at me and think I have my shit together. I have the house, the kids, the marriage, the job - the lot! Drinking became a friend when I had none and when I was lonely after my daughter was born and my husband worked nights. Now drinking feels part of my personality, people know me as someone who loves a drink, the life and soul and I used to love that but now, I'm bored of myself.

I have tried to go sober several times but I get to day 4 and give in after finding any tiny excuse to reward myself. Night 1 always feels a bit rough. I role around the bed for hours on end and get a little anxious but nothing too bad. Day 2 I feel hungover without the fun the night before. Day 3 I cry a lot and become quite irritated. Day 4 - I quit! Not this time though, I NEED to do this and I WILL do this.

To help me along the way I have started taking the following vitamins:

• Vitamin B Complex high strength
• Live friendly gut bacteria
• Vitamin B1 500mg x2
• Iron
• Biotin & Zinc
• Vitamin D & K2

Can any recommend anything else or have any tips to help me along the way?

Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Kate x

Whether To go to AA or not is a tricky one.

I personally don’t know whether my problem is bad enough if you see what I mean. I’ve joined some of the online ones (staying quiet) and you hear some crazy stories that I really cannot relate to at all. Also lots of god chat…

I feel like I need aa light!

Thank you for your advice, I appreciate you reaching out. In 7 day's I've only had 1 glass of prosecco and my cravings have reduced massively. I've gave up sugar for 30 days in the past and had a similar reaction tbh, teary, irritable etc. I'll be honest, AA is not for me. Whilst I know we're not professionals on here I feel like this is the support group I needed. Just a soundboard with the potential to have something in common with someone. Strength in numbers and all that. As someone has said above - 'Progress, not perfection'.

If I ever felt it was so out of control it was ruining my life, I'll seek GP/professional help for sure. Good luck with your journey x

How are we all doing gang? How's today been?

Considering today is my day off and I usually use these days to go the pub, etc I have found it quite easy. I've upped my protein a lot and I have found it's helping which is good. Plus I've kept myself occupied today so not really thought about drinking x

Doing okay here thanks @KK1983. Tonight was easy in the fact I met a friend for a dog walk at 6pm, straight in and ate supper. Once of eaten - I’m fine!

The additional protein will keep the energy and satiety levels up for you.

All good here thank you @KK1983- I’m finding I’m not really thinking about drinking as much. Or at least if I am thinking about it I’m not expecting to drink or thinking about whether to drink. I seem to be accepting of the fact I’m not - helped because it’s Tuesday no doubt! Went for a run this morning which really helps me to stay positive about not drinking as I feel like I’m gaining something (exercise, which I love) rather than just losing the wine.

Glad you gad a good day off AF 🥳

@needastrongoneagain Oh that's good then, once you've eaten you feel good and not bothered about a drink. I'd permanently have a pocket full of snacks hahah

@nowinetimeforme That's a great way to look at it. I wish I loved exercise but it's a chore I wont lie. I'm 41 now though so I need to think about some strength training, don't want to be a weak old lady.

Sounds like a good day all round girls 👏🏻

Long day at work, I’ve had a bottle of alcohol free beer, now lemonade, going to have a cup of tea next, then bed!
Well done, everyone!

Well done everyone. Im doing good too, not feeling any cravings. Very tired today but going with it, snoozing as required!

Finally getting over this awful cold and managed a short slow run without keeling over so that was positive, and looking forward to an early run tomorrow made not drinking this evening much easier, especially considering it's the dreaded day 4 (again!) so hopefully not slip up again this weekend 🫣
I also agree that AA lite should exist - for people without any huge trauma who should know better but just drink too much bloody wine!

Good day today, sleep is definitely starting to improve now which is great!
Currently enjoying some junk TV and an AF G&T with lots of fresh lime. Wondering now why I bothered to put the AF gin in it though, it's the tonic and lime tastes that I'm enjoying.

@KK1983 I'm the same age as you and I also find exercise a chore, you are right about the strength training though!

@KK1983i’m 41 too. I love the way exercise makes me feel. For many years I exercised a lot instead of drank a lot but kids made exercise difficult so here I am. One day I might be able to address why I need to be so OTT about things that I enjoy but for now I’ll settle for being OTT about exercise because that isn’t going to kill me and it doesn’t fuck my life up.

I also need to do some strength training. I was planning to look for a simple home based program to follow actually. If I find one I’ll share it x

I’ve been a bit absent, my “blip” turned into an epic fail. But I’m determined to get back on track and stay here, being accountable to you lot really helps.

I’ve done home workouts for years, cardio is my go to but nowadays (just turned 50) I also aim to strength train 4-5 days a week. I have mostly used body project (teambodyproject.com) and Caroline Girvan or Heather Robertson on YouTube. I’ve just done a weeks free trial of the Studio Era app though and can really feel my muscles working so am going to subscribe. I’ve built up my selection of weights over the last decade but in hindsight it probably would have been cheaper to buy a decent set in the first place. Not sure if that’ll help anyone …

Thanks for the tips and recommendations on strength training. I used to go to a cycling gym and they had s&c classes which I used to do. In my own I find that stuff hard to get motivated for but I’ll check these out.

Well done for getting back on the wagon. It’s hard but you know it’s the only way. I keep thinking; I can quit (or moderate) now, I can quit after it ruins my life or I can let it kill me.

i don’t know if you’ve got the stomach for it (might be better to wait until you have a few days sober under your belt and the anxiety’s has passed somewhat but I watched Rain In My Heart on iPlayer the other day. It’s quite old now but it’s a documentary about 4 alcoholics in hospital. It’s a tough watch but I’m glad I watched it.

Yes AA isn’t perfect… I’m also an atheist and so the God stuff can feel weird. At my in person group they’re pretty much all atheists though and have declared that ‘God’ in the text means ‘Group of Drunks’ aka the support group. It can definitely be a bit culty though so I don’t go every week - often just when I need to be scared out of the desire to drink. The stories are definitely much worse than me but generally I think if you’ve considered AA then you’re likely ‘bad enough’ because normal drinkers would never even consider it.

Anyway I’m not here to push it. It’s an individual choice and you and OP seem happy with the support on here which, if it’s working, is just as good imo.

I blipped out yesterday - day 7. Awful relationship stuff - I think he’s realised I was doing Sober October so pulled out his bag of tricks to topple me - even had the hall to call kd an alcoholic whilst he continued to drink his usual 10+ units per night. Not doing very well right now. And I was doing so well.

Oh I feel for you. When someone who is supposed to love you most in the world sabotages you it's especially hurtful. Probably not recommended by a psychologist, but vent to us and stay sober out of spite to really needle him 💪

Morning.

I feel really daft as I didn’t know that there was a religious element to AA.

It feels like finding the right support for your individual circumstances is so important. Whether that be AA, a Facebook group (I’ve rejoined the one you mentioned @Manchestermummax3- there are some very desperate cases on there do you find? Definitely in of need of professional health support to reduce or stop drinking), or this thread.

I’m finding this thread very relatable, there a lot of people on here I can definitely see parts of ‘me’ in, or habits re drinking they also have.

Do uou mind telling me which AF G do you buy? Thanks

I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m not wishing to interfere, but is this relationship adding anything positive or supportive to your life.

You’ve got 7 days of no alcohol into your system. Think of how your body will thank you for that. It will keep you healthy for the future.

Vent on here as much as you need ❤️

@nowinetimeforme you do say some things that really resonate with me, thank you. This time, it’s ‘I can quit after it ruins my life’ etc. ❤️

I’m another one that is (and there’s no borderline here) obsessed with exercise. Endurance training is my thing, I’ve run countless marathons and been coached for years. The last 3 years have changed a little in terms of motivation. I used to be performance based, it was all about times (I’m a fairly decent level runner), since DH’s stroke it’s been my life saver in terms of therapy. Now, I see what’s happened to him (fit, healthy, young, probably too much stress and yes, drank too much in hindsight) and I’m determined to be the healthiest version of myself for as long as possible, including stopping the self medication with wine.

I really like Caroline Girvan too. I have to be careful not to overdo the weights as I run 6 days a week. My coach also has an online platform with classes specifically supporting running.

Tanqueray 0.0% (Ocado and Amazon both do it) is the one I buy.

I’m ashamed to say I fell off the wagon pretty spectacularly yesterday.

I had to deal with some particularly upsetting divorce admin and I crisis called a good friend who took me for a late lunch. We shared a bottle of wine, then had a cocktail. When I got home I opened a bottle (the only one I had in the house and it wasn’t even chilled).

Feel rough as anything today, and guess I deserve it. disappointed I cracked on day 7 but trying to reconcile the benefits a week off will have had (I never get hangovers either so just goes to show the tolerance….for me to feel like crap today)

Back on the wagon today and hoping to see the rest of the month out with no further blips.

I'd love to be able to run six days a week - I'm nowhere near your level, but I've lost a lot of weight recently and now understand why people like running. It's so much easier when you have zero wobbly bits. However, as soon as I hit five days a week I start getting injured - a twingy Achilles, or an achy knee. How do you avoid that?! Because as soon as I have to rest I think that I don't need to get up early and can have a glass...

Ahh I'm sorry to hear this, it must be so stressful. You expect your partner to provide nothing but support not make things worse. Have you addressed his drinking also?
Big hugs, here if you need to talk xx