Sober October Challenge

[KK1983]

Good afternoon 😊

As the title suggests, I have decided to give 'Sober October' my all and go alcohol free for 31 days. This challenge might be a walk in the park for some but this is going to be HUGE for me. In the past 12yrs, I can't even remember the last time I have even gone a week sober, let alone a month!

So, I am a daily drinker. I have 1-2 bottles per day, sometimes more over the weekend. I have a successful job and a beautiful life but my drinking is becoming more of an issue that I ever thought it would be. I think about it more than I want, plan days around it and spend far too much money on it. Alcoholism runs in my family so i'm aware of the signs which is why I need to get a grip asap. I want to be able to moderate.

If you saw me in the street you'd look at me and think I have my shit together. I have the house, the kids, the marriage, the job - the lot! Drinking became a friend when I had none and when I was lonely after my daughter was born and my husband worked nights. Now drinking feels part of my personality, people know me as someone who loves a drink, the life and soul and I used to love that but now, I'm bored of myself.

I have tried to go sober several times but I get to day 4 and give in after finding any tiny excuse to reward myself. Night 1 always feels a bit rough. I role around the bed for hours on end and get a little anxious but nothing too bad. Day 2 I feel hungover without the fun the night before. Day 3 I cry a lot and become quite irritated. Day 4 - I quit! Not this time though, I NEED to do this and I WILL do this.

To help me along the way I have started taking the following vitamins:

• Vitamin B Complex high strength
• Live friendly gut bacteria
• Vitamin B1 500mg x2
• Iron
• Biotin & Zinc
• Vitamin D & K2

Can any recommend anything else or have any tips to help me along the way?

Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Kate x

Hi and morning.

I hear you. I think I drink for similar reasons to you - supremely awful decade, loneliness etc. Maybe AA wouod disagree with me but I think last night does have some positives: you chose low alcohol, uou moderate to 1 bottle. You didn’t have any more abx you decided not to.

Try not to beat yourself up - it helps even less than the alcohol does

Can I say - I love your username.

Id it your favourite time of the year?

@Fiftyandme Thanks! I’ve had this username for years. Must have changed it around Autumn time, but I’ve stuck with it!
Autumn is definitely my favourite season (aside from this storm)!
I was going to say all the things I love about Autumn, then I realised that they all have an associated alcoholic drink, then I realised that for me, all events in all seasons have an associated alcoholic drink! 🤦‍♀️😂

Baked camembert with tiger bread has my heart. Oh and i go through a pack of cheese strings a day haha

Everyone knows I love a drink but my DH knows how much I drink and hasn't even questioned it tbh. He'll openly buy me bottles of wine, offer to run the shop of an evening if I run out but I think this is all because I appear to be functioning well - which I am. I get up early to exercise despite sinking 2 bottles day before, I do my skin care, I look after my appearance, my weight and without blowing my own trumpet I'm a great mum and wife, doing well in work and I do all the things I'm meant to. However, if there was a change in all of the above, he'd definitely meet me with concern cos he's know something would be wrong. He knows I'm doing this challenge and he's incredibly supportive. Sends me messages saying he's proud and buying me soft drinks. If I was to say to family members or others about the way I drink, I know they'd have something to say.

Put it this way, when I've mentioned to people I'm doing this, they all best I'd last 24hrs 😂

No one knows- like you i hide the bottles etc really well. In a way i wish he did catch me out.

I tend to binge when I can « get away » with it if you see what i mean. My partner is away with work 3 nights next week- Lord give me strength thats gna be hard. Loneliness plus noone to witness the immediate / after effects is the key time when ill binge.

Ive got a plan though this time. Wish me luck!

Morning all. Sorry I was going to reply with names but the thread is busy and I’m reading off my mobile and can’t keep up. Just want to say don’t beat yourself up to those who drank last night. I didn’t, but very nearly did in the half hour before dinner! I had a voice saying ‘’you are ruining a Saturday night by not drinking’’
I think I need to up the defences now. I’m going to start rereading some quit lit and might put on some Annie Grace podcasts doing the housework.
Have a good day all. I will definitely be checking in later, as Sunday evening is a total low point for me on this challenge (I always have terrible Sunday-night-work-dread-cloud!)

Good luck @BountifulPantry ! 😊

@itsendgame

I understand you feel like you've let yourself down but there's positives here. You chose a lower percentage alcohol, you purchased just 1 and didn't order more, you didn't follow it with behaviour you'd normally feel embarrassed about and you put yourself to bed.

Being a single mum of little ones must be really hard and lonely at times, you're smashing it! ❤️

@nowinetimeforme we don’t openly discuss it but my DP must know how much I drink because he drinks about the same amount (but claims he drinks less than he does). I once asked my 3DC separately if my drinking bothered them and they all said they don’t think I drink much but DP definitely does. I guess it’s because most of my drinking is done in the kitchen kind of secretly, often out of a plastic tumbler, and when it gets to dinner time I’m done but DP sits at the table with a glass of wine and continues afterwards.
Outside of home I don’t know who knows and am quite paranoid about it. The people in the local shops definitely know despite me purposefully buying other stuff to make it look like I’m not just buying wine!

Morning all - DAY 5....

I slept well again last night and even dream cheated. I was a hoe bag in dreamland last night! haha

I've been up early, I can never sleep in on my day off which is annoying but I've got plenty done this morning already.

Plans for today - Not to drink, washing, cook a roast ( that will be weird without a glass of prosecco in my hand), bath the dog, iron the uniforms, all over shower, put on clean bedding and starting watching that new series on Netflix about Ed Gein.

Try not to beat yourself up if you drank last night - you're still doing great! My friend started doing dry jan and Sober october years again and she'd pick one day a week she would have a drink so she had something to look forward to and it worked so well she now only drinks once a week instead of once a day. Gotta do what works for you xx

@dumplinggirl What did you think of 'Normal people' so far?

Its great! Stayed up too late of course and am on episode 6 🙈

Morning everyone.

The thread has been busy since I last posted, only last night! That’s brilliant - and it’s so supportive and positive which is fantastic.

@nowinetimeformethank you 😊. Yes, I finally feel like I’ve time to breathe. Weirdly, I can physically feel the tension in my shoulders, which used to make them ache at times and which has been there for what feels like forever lifting away.

Re partner/family knowing how much I was drinking, I think they were vaguely aware. But I made sure I was the one taking the empties to the recycling, the one buying the stuff, I’d even drink half each of two bottles of wine so it looked less ‘bad’. I think those things made me realise it had to stop. That and some blood tests (in fairness, there was only one bio marker that was very slightly elevated but it was enough for me to really think about the long term). That, and the fact that if I ever now stop being a carer for DH, I want to be in the best possible shape to live life to the full and not be some old drunk.

For those that have had a drink - count the days/units/glasses that you haven’t had. It’s still brilliant. I think if I felt like I had to reset every time I slipped, I’d be so demoralised and negative I’d not try again. I’ve seen a bit of that thinking on some Facebook groups - ‘you must reset’ - why? This is a journey and folk need to maybe visit a few stops before they find the right route.

Talking of Facebook groups or Insta - does anyone follow or have any recommendations for postive supportive ones? I tried one that was a bit too judgemental for me, and I didn’t like the guy whose group it was - he was a bit self promoting!

Hahaha love that!

Show me a decent cheese board plus a decent pudding cart and I’m anyone’s 😄

Search up on Facebook 'life's better without alcohol'

Hows Sunday, all? Mine was lovely until I came home to partner being his usually arsey difficult self.

Thankfully the shops near me are now shut and I refuse to pay Co-Op prices for wine!

Little things are really irritating me today. I’ve already got the Sunday dread. I’ve popped open a bottle of Nozeco.

Hahahahah Get to ours you!

I could do with a weekend in Liverpool 🤣

@Fiftyandme What's he doing to annoy you? Men eh?! Count to 10 and breathe

@Fiftyandme 😂 Sounds like the start of a plan to me hahah

I've felt a bit the same today. I got irritated by the fact I seem to be the only person who puts out a new toilet roll after someone else has used the last.

Hope the Nozeco hits the spot x

I’m missing my usual gin and tonic while cooking Sunday dinner, along with a couple of large glasses of red. It just feels a bit dull which is objectively ridiculous.