Sober October Challenge

[KK1983]

Good afternoon 😊

As the title suggests, I have decided to give 'Sober October' my all and go alcohol free for 31 days. This challenge might be a walk in the park for some but this is going to be HUGE for me. In the past 12yrs, I can't even remember the last time I have even gone a week sober, let alone a month!

So, I am a daily drinker. I have 1-2 bottles per day, sometimes more over the weekend. I have a successful job and a beautiful life but my drinking is becoming more of an issue that I ever thought it would be. I think about it more than I want, plan days around it and spend far too much money on it. Alcoholism runs in my family so i'm aware of the signs which is why I need to get a grip asap. I want to be able to moderate.

If you saw me in the street you'd look at me and think I have my shit together. I have the house, the kids, the marriage, the job - the lot! Drinking became a friend when I had none and when I was lonely after my daughter was born and my husband worked nights. Now drinking feels part of my personality, people know me as someone who loves a drink, the life and soul and I used to love that but now, I'm bored of myself.

I have tried to go sober several times but I get to day 4 and give in after finding any tiny excuse to reward myself. Night 1 always feels a bit rough. I role around the bed for hours on end and get a little anxious but nothing too bad. Day 2 I feel hungover without the fun the night before. Day 3 I cry a lot and become quite irritated. Day 4 - I quit! Not this time though, I NEED to do this and I WILL do this.

To help me along the way I have started taking the following vitamins:

• Vitamin B Complex high strength
• Live friendly gut bacteria
• Vitamin B1 500mg x2
• Iron
• Biotin & Zinc
• Vitamin D & K2

Can any recommend anything else or have any tips to help me along the way?

Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Kate x

Thinks its a coming of age, romantic story

It's romantic but not a romance. It's very coming of age, all about a young couple falling in love but with lots of other things attached. I made that sound boring but it's great haha

Evening all!

Checking in to tick off Saturday night. Well done everyone, even those who didn’t make it because I’m sure you’ll be back on the wagon tomorrow.

Ive generally found it ok - since I wasn’t planning to drink I didn’t think about it too much. I did have a bit of a wobble early afternoon because it’s been a wet miserable day here so we’ve all been inside all day. We went to the soft play centre and I went to the supermarket with one of the kids but we couldn’t go out anywhere meaningful because I was dropping someone off at the train station in the middle of the day. I was feeling a bit woe-is-me about how shit my life is (it’s not really shit, it’s just life, with small kids) and had an almost panicked desire to escape into a bottle of wine. That passed pretty quickly though. Drinking a bottle of wine to myself is not going to make my life better, I’ve tried it, it doesn’t work.

Sleep well everyone

@KK1983 I think you’ve done incredibly well resisting the temptation tonight. You work in such a hard environment re being constantly surrounded by the thing you’re trying to avoid. Well done!

Day 4 done. Not too bad here but some fleeting cravings starting to kick in re ‘just one’ G&T. I didn’t, but I’m sure they’ll be back, and louder.

@Manchestermummax3 thanks. How alcohol affects our thinking is so fascinating, and alarming. We crave the dopamine hit it initially gives us, but just need more of it each time to recreate it. That and how quickly our brain builds the association between drinking and stress relief/fun/pleasure. Hopefully the October reset will break some of these cycles.

I really like that sentence ‘drinking a bottle of wine isn’t going to make my life better’ - thanks.

And - ‘no one wakes up wishing they’d had a drink the night before’ resonates too for me.

Life can feel like that with little kids and then they get older and sometimes it feels just the same because although you have more physical freedom yourself now they're older, your mind takes up more stress of - Where are they? Hope they're ok? Do they have their phone? etc etc. It never ends!

Well done for thinking that way about the wine though, you're so right. x

Did someone say cheese???

You’re so right about alcohol not making life better - it’s never done that for me either, just temporarily dulled the crap.

Sleep well

Just checking in- day 4 alcohol free! Can’t wait to wake up in the morning after a good night’s sleep x

Urgh sober Saturday night is extra hard. Anyone else find that?

Yes! But probably for different reasons to you 😂

A big reason I drink is feeling like I have nothing that is ‘mine’ or ‘for me’ because I have small kids and drinking sort of slipped into that space. I feel that more intensely at the weekend because during the week I work and I actually have a lot more freedom to fit in a few things for myself (like going for a run). The weekends feels relentless at times and drink feels like something to look forward to.

my toddler woke me up at 5:15 so I’m a bit grumpy but I’m not also feeling the effects of the bottle of wine from last night and the disturbed sleep that would’ve followed. I hope you’re feeling good when you wake up this morning 😊

I missed this post yesterday - Congratulations on the business sale! 🥳 That must feel like such a milestone. I’m sure you have missed emotions but from what you’ve said this is a really big part in creating a better / more manageable life going forward.

My friend is ACA which is an AA fellowship for adult children of alcoholics. A lot of the steps at the same / similar to AA and the first one is acknowledging that life has become unmanageable. Life being ‘unmanageable’ is something I’ve thought about a lot in the last few months. I imagine you feel that your life is much more manageable now, due to drinking less and selling the business. That must feel great. Well done x

Morning everyone! I hope you’re starting to feel the benefits of not drinking, including sleeping better.

Quick Q for everyone - to what extent stop the people close to you know how much you drink? I openly drink and on any given day if my DP new how much or what I was drinking that wouldn’t be an issue but I make sure he doesn’t know the extent of it by when I pour my drinks, managing the recycling etc. he’s certainly be worried (and surprised) if he knew how much I’d been drinking. I haven’t told him I’ve stopped and he hasn’t mentioned anything. We had people here who have been drinking so I think he probably hasn’t noticed.

Why haven’t I told him? I think it’s because I can’t bear to confront the reality of it through the lens of someone I love. he’d be wonderful about it, but I’m ashamed. I’m curious about everyone else.

Morning all

Great to read so many positive updates from you all, you’re all doing brilliantly!

Unfortunately last night I “fell” off the wagon and I’m really disappointed in myself.

I won’t drone on because everyone has problems, but I’ve had a really difficult few years and it feels like the past few months it’s really hit me as other life issues have emerged. Added to that I’m a single Mum to two young children and yesterday was a long day keeping them entertained/not fighting etc! I find the evenings once they’re in bed very lonely and I think wine has become my “company and reward”.

A couple of small wins, from last night, if at all possible.

I purposely ordered a half alcohol wine. I paced the bottle over the course of the evening rather than necking a bottle over an hour. I didn’t reach for my phone to start sending messages (which I’d inevitably cringe over the following day- never anything terrible but I decide I want to be “catch up” with my entire phone book after wine😆!) As I poured the final glass, usually I’d be itching over my Deliveroo app to order another bottle… but I realised I didn’t want more. I wanted to go to bed after finishing the movie I was watching and that was my mind made up.

Feel like a bit of a fu*k up today, and almost didn’t share this but realised that this thread is about accountability as much as anything else. I really want to get back into this now. 🙏🏼

Well I caved but didn’t really enjoy it, definitely not worth it. So I’m back here hanging my head in shame but doubling down for the rest of the month.

Also well done the rest of you for getting through a Saturday night sober

@itsendgame@Todayisanewday75, onwards and upwards! Its very hard to break the habit and you've said it here, well done. Be kind to yourselves today and hopefully it might be easier xxx

Morning, everyone!

I was really tempted to have a drink last night. Was on my own and bored. I think the only reason I didn’t cave was because I had to drive to pick my daughter up from a party at 10pm.

It felt like a really long day. The weather was awful and I was just at home, cleaning, washing, watching telly, etc. I would usually drink from about 2pm onwards if I was having a Saturday like this.

If you did have a drink, maybe don’t think of it as having to start again at day 1, count up your number of drink free days instead. Even if you have a drink every Saturday this month, you will still have achieved 26/27 days without alcohol.

Also, @itsendgame, the reduced alcohol over the evening is really great! Think of how much less alcohol you've had just this week in comparison to most other weeks....you too @Todayisanewday75.

Opinions please! Im also a heavy smokers. Going for surgery tomorrow; im thinking of sticking on a nicotine patch and giving that a go. I wonder though if that and the alcohol is too much? Or, am I just making excuses for myself?

The reckoning regarding the bad situation came and I grieved. Last night I had 5, yes 5, dreams about Armageddon (that’s impressive even for me). But I think I have accepted what’s happened now. And I was alcohol free last night. So into day 2 now. Breathe….

@dumplinggirl from what Ive read it’s more effective to focus on breaking one habit at a time quitting both drinking and smoking at the same time could be very overwhelming. But all people are different and some people prefer to go all in.

Good luck for the surgery tomorrow

Hello
Can I join? Started a little early as I want to finish a bit early so today is day 7 for me. Hope all are well.

Morning all. Hope you all had an ok night. Mine was ok-ish - I was disturbed by my youngest who had been up calling their friends until the small hours (she’s just admitted to me I forgot to reset her phone settings so that cant happen 🙄 - mum fail) and she wanted my bloody phone charger 🙄🙄🙄.

@nowinetimeforme- I openly drink, but I guess why I’m not overly bothered is because I live with someone who criticises my drinking (I typically drink around 3 bottles of wine a week) whilst he typically drinks around twice as much as me.

Welcome! And congrats on a whole week. I nearly cracked on day 3