I just don't know where to.start!?

[WaryShark]

Hi,
I honestly don't know where to start, except I know I need to start something... I can't speak to anyone in real life and I live in a small, small village so there's no way any support groups would be anonymous.
I've got 2 amazing children, a fiancée ive been with over 10 years, we own our house, I don't work and life is good.. but recently I've found my alcohol use creeping up and up. Ive often had a bottle of wine of an evening, but then it was every evening, then I stopped feeling it, so it was a bottle and a glass, then a bottle and half and now it's 2 and I don't even feel a buzz anymore by the end of it. I constantly feel exhausted, I have a terrible stomach most days and something needs to change.

4.30pm the other night and a week and a bit into the summer holidays and I was stood in the kitchen contemplating opening the bottle before my kids were even in bed...

Where do I go from here.. is 2 bottles a night safe to just stop? What do I replace it with? Maybe I should just go to bed with the kids. Can't drink if I'm asleep.

Thanks.

THIS is the start Op

well done

next step, sitting down with your partner tonight and telling him what you’re telling us

Why don’t you work?

How old are your children?

By the sounds of it, shes a SAHM to school age children. Is there a problem with that?

I would suggest reading as much Quit Lit as you can handle.

Clare Pooley The Sober Diaries
Catherine Gray
Jason Vale

It makes you feel less alone with it all and helps you think things through as a starting point.

Tell your partner and face it head on that you cannot carry on drinking like this and remain healthy.

You've made a start coming on here and posting. There are a lot of us doing the same thing and if you read lots of these threads some are many many days in of stopping, others like me are at the beginning of the journey (17 days for me.)

You also ask what to replace it with.

I've got some AF Gin that isn't bad and have ordered some Sentia Red (it's expensive and haven't tried it yet) and some Pentire.

There's a wide range of AF beers as well as many other options. Flavoured tonic waters are good as is sparkling water and then there's AF fizz etc.

In the week I'm happy with sparkling water, zero sugar ginger beer and things like that but at the weekend I want something more akin to Friday wind down so then opt for AF Gin with good tonic.

Oh don’t be silly

of course not

I asked because she could be bored 🙄 if alone most of the day

Thanks everyone, I don't work as my kids are 4 and 1. I also have a chronic illness that causes pain and limits mobility, but I've had this most of my life so don't think it contributes to the drinking if that makes sense.

I did think about an alcohol free alternative, I think having something to hold in my hand and drink still when watching TV will help.

We go out a lot during the day, walks, baby classes, I volunteer at a few women's charity groups, the beach etc. so my days are busy busy, it's just the evening for some reason. It's like my switch off?

Has your partner noticed?
what’s morning like?

He jokes about how much I drink, but I never feel bad the next day except tiredness and an upset tummy.

Havnt bought a bottle of wine tonight for the first time in forever. I wish I could say I've had nothing, but I've put both the kids to bed and poured a g&t, I'm heading up to bed myself to removed the temptation to have anything more and have some TV I'm planning to watch. Feel so tired I'm hoping I can actually fall asleep fairly quickly.
Hoping I don't feel too bad tommorow, a bit nervous tbh 🫣

AA has meetings on Zoom. You need a support group. And events if you saw someone there who knows you, meetings are confidential,

Going through a similar process- specifically with wine. No longer felt the buzz. Almost two bottles and no hangover. BUT I would wake up full of worries about myself health. After a particularly boozy May Half Term, I was utterly fed up.
The first night without wine was the best longest of my life - I’d never been so bored. But the next morning I was so proud of myself. The next night I visited Tesco in the danger zone (6-7pm) then had an early dinner, then the saw the next night with Aldi, next night Matalan, then a walk. It only took a few nights to make a dent into the habit - but day 5 was MUCH easier than day 1.
The Reddit/stopdrinking forum has been REALLY helpful.

Check out Dr Alex George and Getting Sober… Again on YouTube.

Thank you, I'll check that out that! It's actually scary how quickly the tolerance builds up.
A walk definitely sounds like a good idea, I love on the beach so might have to try that!

Going to put it on now! Thanks for the recommendation

Try exercising in the evening, easy stuff like stretching, yoga, basic fitness. Lucy Wyndham Read has some very short workouts that aren’t too challenging. I also like Livinleggings. Both on YouTube.

The night sweats! 2nd night I've had this. Wow it's horrible lol. Other than that I feel not too bad!!

Start with just one promise to yourself - that today you won’t drink! I’m at nearly 200 days and I still rely on this pledge every morning. Also it does get much much easier as the days go by- I found the first week tough but was ok after that. Now I LOVE being sober!

keep it up op - and yes - early nights and walks are a lifesaver x

Keep going, @WaryShark - it is totally worth it.

I find Dr. Becky Gillaspy’s short videos very useful. They are about giving up sugar, but the principle is the same. I like her calm, no-nonsense approach and the focus on healthy eating.

Yes I am starving 🤣 just ate double what I would usually have for tea! I'll end up the size of a house!

Why is that relevant?
Her issue is alcohol not work.
OP you have done the right thing recognising you have a problem. There is help out there.
Talk to your husband. And do a Google search for alcohol support in your area. There will be groups. And I know it can be difficult to get a GP appointment but if you can talk to your doctor they can help.
Don't feel you have to do this alone.

NB: someone upthread mentioned William Porter. His ALCOHOL EXPLAINED is excellent, and he has lots of videos on YouTube.

Does anyone know if they involve social services or anything if you speak to your GP? 🤔

Evening 3 tonight though and feeling a bit more tempted tonight, my kids are sick and it's been a long day!! The baby is asleep, me and the big girl are playing some board games and then I think it will be another early night for me haha.

How’s it going OP?

I’m very much in the same boat at the moment, was drinking a bottle of wine a day and it’s been creeping up over the last 6 months. 1 bottle isn’t enough now and it’s more like1.5 or 2. I feel so shocked with myself.

I haven’t drunk for 4 out of the last 5 days and currently riding high but know from previous experience the harder days are in front of me.

Hey!
I've been fine mostly, had a birthday party this week which was hard, but I took the car so I couldn't drink! Definitely think social events are going to be hard!