3.5 years sober but drank last night

[ladeedaaaaa]

I had one wine I didn’t enjoy. Due to building panic/pressure and hating my job. I am a perfectionist and if I think I have made a mistake I go into panic mode. Added to this the DCs were being difficult. I just needed something, anything to take edge off.

I know this isn’t a slippery slope for me but would really really appreciate some advice and support today. I am set to retrain next year for a different career so there is hope ahead. But I can’t go back to drinking again. I had done so well and feel like I’ve ruined it.

It's a blip, don't beat yourself up.
Have a good think about how and why this happened, write it down. When did that seed start?
Then - move on, it's fine.
3.5 years is huuuge - congratulations!

Bless you. You have done so well. I really rate AA for support. Maybe try and find a local group.
You haven't ruined it. It was one mistake. I have a lovely friend who has been in recovery for 30 years. He goes to his AA meetings twice a week and he reckons they saved his life.

Thank you. I don’t think I need AA (I know, I know).

Sometimes it’s just so hard to escape your own mind? To stop the thoughts! I exercise and do other things but if there are any other tips I’m keen to hear. Thank you.

The crucial part is that you didn’t enjoy it. Your 3.5 years of sobriety - which is fantastic, very well done - have shown you what life without alcohol is like. However, when it’s been our “go to” for any sign of stress, occasionally that’s where it still takes us. It’s such a great sign that you didn’t enjoy it and can discard it, move on with your sober life.

i’ve been sober with AA for many years and would have plenty of women to talk this through with - you could join an online meeting to share how you feel?

@Thewalrusandthecarpenter i didn’t realise there was an online meeting!

@ladeedaaaaathere are loads - so you could join one in another country if you wanted to be really anonymous!

https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/members/aa-meetings/online-meetings/

My best friend is an alcoholic who mostly doesn't drink and when she was on her last binge drinking session asked me how many chances does she have to get sober, I always tell her, 'as many as it takes...

I have been teetotal 9.5 years. My personal version of teetotal encompasses lots of non-alcoholic drinks at 0.5%, alcoholic puddings like tiramisu and sherry trifle even the very occasional liqueur. None of this makes me think I've failed or I'm a drinker again. I remain very happy non-drinker I can't see any good reason to start drinking again.

I have friends in AA and I believe it can be a great support, I also think it can be very unforgiving in the way it views a slip up.

You haven't changed your views about sobriety, you didn't enjoy the wine. So shrug it off and get on with your life.

Look at Smart online meetings . All about cbt and life skills. Looking forwards

It was a blip you've done amazing. Tomorrow's a new day with no mistakes**

You have done so well. Don't give up. Get some of your favourite chocolate on stand by for nxt time. Would that hit the spot as an alternative?

This 100 times. :)

A slip does not have to mean a fall.

As others have said, it’s a tiny blip so be very careful of the ‘all-or-nothing’ mindset. It doesn’t mean you are about to fall down a booze hole! You had a glass of wine, you didn’t enjoy it - useful to know that, actually, when you feel
like that alcohol isn’t the answer. Sometimes life is just awful and stressful and our heads feel like they will explode - unfortunately I’m not sure there is any easy answer, but you can try to identify things that genuinely make you feel a little bit better (a big hug, a comfort movie, a meditation etc) and do as many as you can, but with the understanding they can’t completely banish intrusive thoughts. Then put aside some time when you’re calmer to identify the steps you need to take with improving the work situation (the kids will always have some days when they’re a nightmare!)

So true what @PlainJaneSuperbrainthe2nd says about the 'all or nothing' mindset.

I am 26 days sober (yay me!!) and for decades have been trying to moderate or eliminate my drinking. I am definitely all or nothing and when I slip tend to say 'well Ive screwed it all now'. In comparison, DH does not think like that. He stopped drinking Boxing Day 2018. We overdid it Christmas day and he said 'I'm taking a break'. He has had a drink maybe 3 times since then and each time just screws his face up and says 'alcohol tastes awful now' and then moves on. He simply does not give it another thought at all. He was the same when he gave up smoking 25 years ago. I am trying to channel more of his mindset for myself.

Hope you are feeling okay today. I dream of being 3.5 years...... you are an inspiration.

Thank you ❤️
I am giving aa some serious thought. Just to
make sure I stay on track.

I’m back. It’s Friday night here and I’ve made myself go into panic mode at work as I’m a perfectionist and work in law. I’m working on retraining to get out.

I want to drink again. I’m posting here so I don’t

just want to slow the thoughts down

Just start with some deep breathes. These cravings will pass. It will be ok.

You are experiencing anxious thoughts. You know that alcohol will make them worse.

Try to break the cycle of thoughts - drink some water, go for a walk if you can (even if it’s just round the office), play some music,

We have much in common! Hang in there

Get out the house if you can. Go for a walk. Speak to someone. I am also long term sober now and I stopped AA years ago as the all or nothing didn’t help me.

Sertraline or a similar medication can help with anxious thoughts - maybe consider going to doctors with a view to coming off the meds when you move jobs?

Thank you all these comments are helping me so much

Not quite the same but....

The way stayed smoking was your mindset.

the way i quit smoking was thinking its a journey and I am on the way to zero along a curve. I probably smoked at least 20 or 40 cigarettes after officially quitting. I even smoked one 4 years after I gave up but haven't smoked in 10 yrs now!

Dont be hard on yourself. 3.5 yrs is amazing and one shit wine doesn't take any of that away from you.

get to a meeting if it helps...
Otherwise keep yourself away from "high risk" situations for a little bit ....and get close to nature / friends / family / fitness

Not quite the same but....

The way stayed smoking was your mindset.

the way i quit smoking was thinking its a journey and I am on the way to zero along a curve. I probably smoked at least 20 or 40 cigarettes after officially quitting. I even smoked one 4 years after I gave up but haven't smoked in 10 yrs now!

Dont be hard on yourself. 3.5 yrs is amazing and one shit wine doesn't take any of that away from you.

get to a meeting if it helps...
Otherwise keep yourself away from "high risk" situations for a little bit ....and get close to nature / friends / family / fitness

Last week you had a drink you didn't enjoy it it didn't help & you felt bad about yourself.

that was a mistake.

Doing it again would be deliberate.

Don't do it to yourself!! You are stronger than that, you've proven that by being sober 3.5 years!