Binge drinking

[SpinCoffeeRepeat]

Morning ladies, I don’t really know where to start. I’ve been drinking since I’ve been a teenager and I’m now 47 years old. I don’t drink during the week as I have a very responsible job which I love, and I work in the community also. But on a Friday and a Saturday, sometimes a Sunday - I will binge drink. Sometimes I can moderate and only have two glasses of wine, But it’s more likely that it’s two bottles of Prosecco, or a bottle of Prosecco and a couple of gins. It doesn’t stop me from getting up in the morning and going to do dog walking or exercising at my local gym but it definitely affects my mental health and gives me sleepless nights. I’ve had periods of abstinence before but just recently I’ve gone back to drinking at the weekend. My husband doesn’t drink and he would prefer it if I didn’t drink at all - it does cause arguments between us. I’m not saying that I’m an angry or abusive drunk, but I’m definitely more flippant and there are nights that I’ve blacked out and not remembered anything, and spoken nonsense which I’m absolutely mortified by.

I’ve not gone into work today because I drank a bottle of fizz yesterday to myselfand then shared another bottle with my sister-in-law at dinner. I woke up at 2:30 this morning with anxiety, and just couldn’t face the world - it’s been a very stressful weekend because I got blind drunk on Saturday night as well, and my husband was really angry at me because I was drunk and I was changing the music and behaving like a bit of a dick.

I’ve rang my GP and they’ve got me an appointment to meet a doctor this afternoon where I’m going to be completely honest with them and get some support and professional help.

I can just see where my life is going if I continue drinking, and it doesn’t look good. I’m not sure what else I can do and I wouldn’t know what advise the GP will give me and whether he can give me any medication that can help with alcohol cravings, which I do get on a Friday and a Saturday although bizarrely I don’t have on a Monday Tuesday Wednesday, or Thursday!

I am pretty low because our two children are both at university and I miss them desperately, my husband works all the time and the house is empty, so I do feel like I’m an empty nester but I do keep myself busy, probably too busy if I’m honest. I think the alcohol is just something I’ve always done at the weekend…..

I just wondered how you had all coped and does this sound like something you have maybe gone through and come out the other side from? I would be so grateful for any advice. Many thanks.

How are you getting on @SpinCoffeeRepeat ? I'm ina similar position to you and just trying to figure out if AA is for me or if I can learn to moderate.

Hope you're doing okay.

Amazing update. IJust back from a long weekend in the Lake District and it’s been a triumph. Over the last three days we have eaten out, visited pub beer gardens, went to a gig and had afternoon tea. Total alcohol consumption: 1: lager in 2halves - I’m a girl who was heavily influenced by the ladette culture where a half lager was frowned upon - pints all the way,- but half lager was more than enough thank you and the second half lager was not even finished. 1: medium glass of wine, not even finished. 1: medium rose that made me flush bright red 😫 and made me feel sooooo tired . I’ve ordered soda and lime the rest of the time and on Saturday night we sat in a pub drinking a pot of earl grey tea with Kit Kats 😂 I have enjoyed the real me.

Not 100% alcohol free sure but in my book, it’s bloody outstanding 🤍 💛 No anxiety, no beer fear, no lack of self respect… just simple good vibes. I hope I can stay on this path. 🙏🏼 I just decided that if I had a drink, it would be warranted (not the middle of the day at lunch), that one was enough so as to not take me away from me, it’d wear off after an hour so I get the buzz and get ME back 💝

This is amazing 👏 well done! (I totally get what you mean about pints vs halves.) It really gives me hope. Sounds like a lovely weekend!

Hey ladies. Update for you: 2 175ml glasses of wine this evening chilling in the sun writing my journal ‘cosmic ordering’ then resting Black mirror followed by dinner (homemade burgers). I didn’t finish the bottle, I didn’t want any more, as my focus was on relaxing a little and enjoying a full chill - but not enough to take any time out of my day toimorrow. 💛💛

This was me 5 years ago. Trust me when I tell you life can be absolutely beautiful and amazing without booze. I highly recommend reading the sober diaries by Clare pooley (I think that’s right) and the unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine grey, they changed my life. Good luck xxx

Thanks sirachaoneverything. Having hardly touched a drop for the last couple of weeks I totally understand what you’re saying. This morning I didn’t wake up with the usual thrill of thinking.” I didn’t drink last night.” and I did wake in the middle of the night absolutely parched! I’m already looking forward to waking up tomorrow after having not touched a drop again today. I have my alcohol free beers in the fridge and a plan for dinner, and a trip to the ice cream parlour at the time when I would normally be opening a bottle of fizz.

I guess what I’m saying is that everything I’ve learnt on this journey has helped me make conscious decisions and I have been able to moderate for the last three weeks. But obviously my days are better without having touched a drop the day before.!!!

Well. Scrap that. Got over confident. Had an argument with husband yesterday morning. Was left feeling irritated. Ended up sinking a few bottles of Prosecco with the in laws then making rum cocktails, ended up shitfaced. Nothing bad happened but husband didn’t like that I was drunk so we fell out. Not slept a wink, just listened to meditations all night. What a shit ending to my holiday 😭 Is today the first day of the rest of my life? I hope so because I’ve proven to myself yet again that alcohol bends me over and totally screws me and my plans. 💔

Hi OP. I had to try to moderate a million times before coming to the realisation that moderation was not possible for me. It’s not possible for a lot of people. Even now people suggest I have just one. I have never in my life had just one. Read the books I suggested, be kind to yourself and trust me when I say that a life without alcohol can be truly extraordinary with 0 guilt, 0 regrets, 0 hangovers and 0 negative consequences.

Ahhh. Hugs @SpinCoffeeRepeat
It's not easy is it x

update! I started naltrexone last night. I took 25mg with food then pouted a glass of wine, sipped it throughout the evening before chucking 1/4 in sink! It bloody works! Tonight I had 12mg and again, same story. Never have I ever done that before.

However I have felt tearful all day. Whether that’s the boatload of shit I’m going through with my husband already and the fact I’ve driven my son back to uni and I’m missing him AND my daughters going through a nightmare health scare and I’m supporting her from the end of the phone? All contributory factors to my low mood i guess, so I’m going to try it again next weekend and hopeful my mood isn’t affected. Think I only need 12mg though as it is pretty strong but if this works without the low mood then I think I’ve found a way out. Will keep you all posted

💛🌸🤍

You are still looking for what AA calls “the easier, softer way”

until you admit fully that you are alcoholic and cannot control your drinking you will find it very very difficult to stay stopped.

Are you still going to the meetings? My recovery suddenly felt a lot easier once I had a sponsor.

How do you feel about being tearful or feeling afraid or powerless?

Still attending the AA meetings, I need the spiritual side.

In comparison to last weekend, I know now that I was tearful because of natural reactions to personal issues (argument with husband, son going back to uni) because I’ve taken now it again this weekend and not felt in any which way low, or tearful. I have felt like me, full of energy and quite happy to crack on with all the things I enjoy doing at the weekend. My low-dose naltrexone taken an hour before I would have a glass of wine has meant that a whole bottle has lasted an entire weekend with still some left in the bottle. For me that’s amazing. I’ve slept well, lost weight because I’m not drinking shit loads of booze and my mental health is so much better because I’m pretty pleased with myself.

I’m now binging on LDN TikTok videos finding out more about this amazing medication. I can see already that alcohol is not where I get my real joy, that euphoric high I feel when drinking is down to my (fucked up) brain chemistry and the LDN dampens it, breaking the connection and rewiring my reward response.

❤️‍🩹❤️

This thread resonates with me - how are you getting on @SpinCoffeeRepeat ?

If you’re still trying to moderate OP I’d recommend going back and reading your posts on this thread from the beginning again. It’s a really interesting view for me as someone who also tried for a long long time to find a way to stop the negative affects of my drinking while… still drinking.

I’m doing really well. Seven weeks in and no more than one bottle of wine per weekend all spread over three days. Some weekends I don’t bother to have a glass of wine at all, I get immense pleasure from a cup of tea and an early night knowing I’ll wake up feeling fresh with a day off ahead of me 🫶🏼 It really does work. It’s nothing short of a miracle for me. I look forward to my weekends and I don’t feel cursed anymore xx

Glad to hear you're doing well @SpinCoffeeRepeat! Can I ask, how long are you being prescribed the naltrexone? What happens when you stop taking it?

Forgive my ignorance, its not something I know anything about. Won't you just go back to before when you stop taking them?

I’ve got about 168 tablets. You need to read up on it to be honest, it’s all out there … but basically, it rewires the brain … which is where the drive to drink to excess begins.

👍💖

Sorry to hear this hun… I’m a drinker with no stopper and lately I’m up late at night drinking waking up on sofa in morning 😳 but that’s due a family problem that I’m finding difficult right now….. you maybe perimenopause which can give an appetite to drink more which I’m going through myself right now, but when I get stressed through life incidents I do drink more and can’t stop, only today I met a lovely lady who has the exact same problem which made me feel better that I’m not on my own ! DONT be too hard on yourself, we women are full of hormones that change our whole character and mood when we get more wiser ! I wish my gusba d did not drink hei es drinking which makes it more harder to stop, good luck sweet… you will find your way 💖💕xx

I'm so inspired by your thread OP. You mentioned the ladette culture and I can totally relate. When I was younger the whole point of a weekend was to get drunk. Not to enjoy a drink, but to be drinking before you went out, drink even more when you were out, and come home utterly shitfaced. I have blacked out so many times I've lost count. We then had the 'wine o'clock culture' and at that point my kids were young and the 4pm to bedtime hours were when I 'needed' a glass to wind down. Roll on a few years and lockdown happened. The weather was amazing then and I got used to pouring myself a 'nice glass' of fizz when Boris first did his announcements at 5pm. I'd often end up falling asleep on the sofa waking at 1/2/3am having finished the bottle. I put on half a stone in that period. My kids were away at Uni and I was caring for an elderly parent relentlessly, so I justified it. For me I just hated the weight gain. I managed to self navigate out of it one day when realised I had started to salivate every time I was driving home from my part time job, usually around 7pm. I also have some wine glasses that I absolutely LOVE, and even looking at those can make me want to our a drink. I also realised my memory is shit. Could be natural aging but I have a suspicion it's not been helped by my alcohol intake over the years. Weirdly as I hit menopause I find I can't have more than one drink as it affects me really badly. I now pour Diet Coke into my favourite wine glasses and if I do have a drink (I never intended to give up completely, I just have a chilled lager. I'm also influenced by my kids who after Uni, enjoy a drink but they never get into the states I used to. I don't want to be the 'pissed mother' who embarrassed her family, ever. Occasionally if we go out for a drink, I'll have a Jack Daniels and coke - but it's not moreish like wine ans I can't justify it by 'pairing it with food' I also don't get blackouts after two of those, nor wake up parched and anxious. I really have got a grip on it and if I ever slipped back to a bottle a day I'd see my GP. Remembering conversations is extremely important to me - I'm not allowed to go to to bed unless I'm capable of reading a book. I really wish you all the best - don't risk losing your husband - no drink is worth that. X