Dry January and beyond

[BulldogMumma]

I couldn't find a dry January thread so thought I'd make one.
I've posted on the alcohol threads before but never see it through. This year I'm determined to do dry January and even beyond.
My drinking has really crept up lately and I know I need to address it. I lost my mum this year due to alcohol and I don't want to go the same way. I've been using alcohol as a crutch since losing my mum but now's the time I stop relying on the wine and take back control.
Anyone else who wants to join me are more than welcome, would be good to have some buddies along the way x

I'm thinking of joining the local AA meetings. I might drop in to the next newcomer one. What if I see someone I know? 😱has anyone ever tried them? I feel like I'm strong minded enough to give this a really good shot now I'm sober and am reading up about it, have questions, have become a bit obsessed about it and am ready to chat to others openly about it and how I'm feeling.

This thread is so helpful :)

@JazzieC @Summervibes24 @fuzzylegs33

Thank you all for your honesty! I fell off the wagon too over weekend. So frustrated with myself! Last night we opened a bottle of red to have with steak and chips and I didn't even want it so just poured mine down the sink.

In total I probably had just over 2 bottles of wine over 3 nights...

Starting again today but keep telling myself that I have still done 9 days off since the start of Jan which is better than I would usually do in a month...

Every AF day is a day in the bank. You don't lose it if you have a slip up. Just keep trying to bank more days.

My birthday tomorrow which has sabotaged several DJs. Am on high alert and have Nosecco chilling in the fridge.

Happy Birthday for tmw!! Don’t let the wine witch ruin your DJ what better gift to yourself than a sober birthday will be great milestone in the bank!! Best of luck you’ve got this!! 🙌🏻

@Benny33 I'm on day 17 now and I too was struggling with lack of motivation, low mood and rubbish sleep pattern the last couple of weeks.

I've woke up today like a new woman 😀

Hope things get easier for you too

Had a bit of a wake up call this morning - telephone call from dr re blood test results and the first question - how much do you drink? Small liver problem and I want you not to have any alcohol for 6 weeks and will redo the test to see if it is the alcohol or Vitamin deficency. Never said what the small liver problem was and I was scared to ask but dr did say I only had to to ask and they would help with long term abstinence. Anybody seen their Dr about this and what did they do?
Better do as I am told as I have a couple of holidays booked. 😃

@FishPie2 , try not to worry too much. The fact that the doctor described it as 'small' means that it is reversible, and quite quickly. They need to rule out the alcohol, but the problem may also be caused by Vitamin D deficiency, which is a cause of Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease, and very common in the UK. But the good news is that you are doing DJ so you will know very soon which it is.

My friend (who was advised to abstain permanently due to long term damage) was sent to a clinic by her GP. She said they were very helpful and kind.

I personally wouldn't involve the NHS beyond the GP (which isn't very far!). I'm a HCP and it wouldn't do me any good to have 'excess ETOH' anywhere on my notes. This is why doctors can access a special confidential service.

Interesting that I've just seen the first mention of AA, here!

As @Neptunium93 said try not to worry too much easier said than done I know. Hopefully it’s something of nothing I’m pretty sure the DR would have said otherwise but at least you’ve had yours checked that’s the main thing better to find out now if that makes sense. Wishing you all the best

So, I'm another one who drank over the weekend. In a weird way, I'm glad I did. I'll explain. I was dreading the weekend because I really look forward to chilling with wine and watching TV. Friday night I was fine. Then Saturday brought two lots of very bad news. Saturday night I was child free and very sad, and decided to have wine. I don't think I was even craving it. I had about a bottle and a half of wine, and even beforehand I was thinking it might help to remind myself just how crap I feel afterwards. Anyway, it's definitely done that. I still feel rotten, it was totally not worth it. I feel even more sure now that long term abstinence is right for me. I don't even feel like I'm going to struggle now (I'm well aware this might not be the case).

To those who have had a drink I'm so glad you've stayed on the thread. The support will always be here for anyone who has a slip up.
@coastergirl it's interesting you say that about feeling rotten, I use that theory when I've been tempted and so far it's been enough to stop me.
Day 13 done for me, I'm in bed already watching tv I'm exhausted. This is officially the longest I've gone without alcohol in nearly 10 years.

Evening all, and day 13 done. Thanks to everyone for another really interesting and helpful set of posts, and to echo PPs, please don’t stop posting even if you’ve had a blip. I like the idea of x days minus y AF. The experiences of those of you who had a glass does remind me of something someone once said to me when i used to smoke, which was to work out how many cigarettes were out of habit rather than enjoyment. I’m applying similar thoughts to DJ.

@FishPie2 do try not to worry, but if it’s bothering you (understandable!) then why not take the GP up on their offer to explain further? They don’t sound panicked, so that would reassure me. And @Sammy900 if you see anyone at an AA meeting, well, you’ve seen them too, if that makes sense 😁 so they wouldn’t be likely to judge or spill the beans. You can always say it’s research if you need to.

@BulldogMumma I think I'd got so used to feeling crap all the time before, it was no different to me. Whereas after a week of no drinking, I was kind of dreading the feeling. I almost had to prove to myself that it would be as awful as I expected. It's actually worse! I'm just not doing it to myself again.

Day 13 done - so 2 weeks tomorrow :D and feeling good about it.

Those that have had a drink -I'm sure we are all mostly here because we have a problem with drinking alcohol / unhealthy behaviours, habits or patterns of drinking and are trying to reach out for support and to experiment or challenge ourselves in trying to change that...seeing what happens when we do and what we can learn from that.

There will be inevitable slip ups where old behaviours or reasons to drink creep back in but then it's taking what you've learned from that, what pushed you over the edge? Won over resistance, how did it feel was it worth it? It's good to reflect on these things... It's an ongoing internal battle and about learning how to change if that's what you really want.

It's not so much about a competition on who can manage the most AF days for fun and if you don't manage the most you've failed. We are all in the same boat but with different reasons and goals to eventually get from A to B..and it might take a little longer for others.That's how I see it - keep going especially if you fell off the wagon had a drink and it wasn't even worth it

Personally I've been thinking about more long term changes, sorry to sound so absolute. I realise there are people just up for doing DJ on here.

Has anyone tried AA before? Pro's / cons? I've done other group based support things in the past like slimming world but never this. It feels so personal but maybe opening up to people you don't know might be easier when it comes to managing alcohol as there's shame attached to it.

@Sammy900 I've been part of AA before. I'm happy to answer any questions about it. It's been life changing for my brother. Personally I'm finding the scientific approach more helpful at the moment but I can appreciate how helpful AA has been for other people I know.

@FollowFollowTheFold Thankyou...What is there general approach? I've honestly never looked into it..is it a bit God squad? Not that there's anything wrong with that but I'm science bred really and am genuinely interested in how things impact from a scientific approach so that may be more up my street. I might feel out of place if it's too religious

I'm back on the wagon since my blip at the weekend and feeling all the more determined.

My new Fitbit has given me some scary readings from that night - I mentioned when I posted before that my heart rate went up by around 10 bpm. Looking at my stats further I see that my heart rate variability dropped by 47% that night - I'm just learning about all this but it's healthier to have a higher rate. I'm pretty sure that it dipped so sharply because my body/organs were struggling to cope with the booze. Im going to give myself a couple more dry weeks and then get some blood tests. I'm realising that my body is not coping well with booze and it's time for a serious rethink

Eye opener isn't it! I used to take my fitbit off when I was on a bender as I convinced myself there was no point in looking at or logging unhealthy stats 😂

Day 13 done. DH is being so fucking annoying...he is one of the main reasons I drink! I have gone to bed with hot chocolate and lit a candle to try and find some serenity!

Day 16 done for me. The wine witch never calls me on a Mon so it was quite an easy day. I treated myself to a facial with the money I have saved on booze so far.

@Sammy900 it's crazy when you see it in black and white - I can see that it would be easier not to look! I'm in the same position as you now, where I am now looking at permanently abstaining. God knows what I've already done to my health.

@Hedjwitch Oh no...escape to the bedroom! Rant away if you need to ..

What is he doing that's really annoying? Hot chocolate, a candle and bed sounds lovely and relaxing.

Just being the same lazy,useless git he always is! I won't derail the thread with a rant.